Would this bother you?

[KatherineMayfair]

If your DP or DH/W etc had a tattoo of their ex's name on their body? My friend has recently started seeing someone who has just that, she likes him very much however this might be a deal breaker for her (she mentioned it and he has no plans to get rid of it). AIBU to think that she's right, it's not nice to see someone else's name on their S/O (unless they were going to remove it)? I don't see how that couldn't bother someone (children's names /relatives are not included in this, ex's exclusively).

I agree with the posters who say it's unlikely they would date someone who had anyone's name tattooed on their arm.

It's a bit chavvy, and very unlikely I would date such a person.

Rightly or wrongly, I do judge people who have peoples names tattooed on them, and dates and names of their kids of their neck or shoulder blade - yuk.

I mean

www.johnnydepp-zone.com/bodyart/

Yes, I would find it off putting because imo getting a partners name is a stupid thing to do. That said, it wouldn't be a deal breaker for me after 3 months, give it a year or so and he might choose to cover it anyway.

It's the "he's not planning to change it" that would put me off, not the actual tattoo itself (although I'm not a fan).

Fair play, you don't get rid of a tatt immediately you start seeing someone else - but you do at least consider it if that relationship starts to look serious, surely? Or at least get it covered up/converted to something else?

Otherwise it's rather disrespectful to any new partner, to still have the ex's name blazoned on his body - just screams "I still have feelings for this one" to me.

Strange this thought occurred to me the other day. My exH has my name tattooed on him. We were married 13 years and together for 15.

It's written in another language so I guess he can bluff it to his new partner.

I’m in my 40’s & I dislike tattoos, but we all do daft things when we are young & so if it was done when he was young it wouldn’t bother me. I’d expect him to want to cover it over by the time we were serious about each other though. It’s one thing to have a past, it’s quite another to have her name there when you’re in bed together (and serious).

It’s not something I’d be requesting 3/6 months into a relationship though.

I would never have a tattoo, but if I was stupid enough to have a blokes name tattooed onto me, I’d be sad to cover it over later because it would mean something to me, even if I didn’t want to still be with them, but I wouldn’t expect a new partner to be happy about it, so I’d cover it over. Hopefully in the meantime I’d have grown up a bit and wouldn’t have a list of names down my arm 🤣

I wouldn't see anyone with any tattoos as they are horrible.

6 months is too soon to ask someone to remove the tattoo. Maybe 6 years?

It won't make the ex vanish from the BF's past either. Your friend sounds a bit insecure to me, a bit needy, and also a bit pushy.

I have my ex-bf's initials tattooed in very pretty gothic writing in a rather private area. Current DH hated it so I had the tattoo changed into his initials.
I regret doing it- young and foolish..

TBH I’m not a massive fan of tattoos but it would put me off someone. That said, it would depend on the kind of tattoo. Names of partners and names and dates of kids birth dates (especially on their neck) would be a turn off.

it would put me off. I think its pretty daft to tattoo a partner's name, in fact I don't really like any names tattooed on anyone, so would be unlikely to date them in the first place.

Having been an utter utter tw@t in my teens and got a tattoo myself (which I regretted almost immediately and have done since) it didn't occur to me to want a cover up or removal.

I HATE mine (not a name but equally moronic imo) but I will never get it covered - no more tattoos. Couldn't consider it these days - I was buoyed by stupidity and alcohol back then - and I'm too much of a wuss to get another over the top or go for laser removal (greatest fear would be paying for it!).

No, I'd be happy for it to stay as it is and treat it as an embarrassing reminder of his stupidity, and object of much mockery. Not that I can talk.

Damson I respect you - excellent post

PostcodeJack similar happened to me, a comment was made on holiday by a waiter. It was embarrassing but it's his late wife, not ex so I would never ask him to remove it.

Uh god yeah.

It would bother me. I don't like tattoos so regardless of what the tattoo was, I'd walk away. Yuk horrible things.

My partner was engaged to her ex and has her name tattooed on her ring finger. It doesn't bother me at all, but at the same time I would like if she covered it with mine if that makes sense? I'm absolutely fine with it being there, but would rather it was mine. Same as I am content with my life, but would rather have a lottery win sort of thing.

StickyPlum77 That's exactly how I feel but it's hard to put into words!
I would have expected DH to come to the decision himself to change it if it was just an Ex, in fact I have no doubt at all he would have.

The inability to think through the implications of tattooing someone's name on your body would put me off, rather than the tattoo itself

Yep ^^

His past, and previous relationships, arent going to go away with the tattoo if he gets it removed (which is a long job and not always succesful) so it seems a bit childish to kick off about it.

How old was he when he had it done?

Either he loves her or he doesnt, she loves him or she doesnt, she trusts him or she doesnt. Names written on him, tasteless as they may be, have no bearing on that.

do you know how much it costs to remove not to mention the pain? Maybe tattooed over would be better. On the other hand I often ask myself why an ex gets the raw deal. It is possible to still have feelings for them but move on whilst still feeling fond of them. Its just not questioned when the ex partner is a widow.

It shows a certain foolishness on his part. I mean....stupid enough to get someone's name on your body but then to leave it there after the breakup?? Very stupid and also ignorant.

stupid enough to get someone's name on your body but then to leave it there after the breakup??

What is he supposed to do?! Its a tattoo not a transfer out of a lucky dip bag!

The only name I would ever consider being inked permanently on my body is my DD’s cos I will love her forever.
Even then, I think tats are shite

I’d find that so breath takingly stupid that I couldn’t date them in the first place.