To ask you for weird/crazy/rude wedding stories?

[NomsQualityStreets]

Inspired by another thread.

Mine is only small and wedding never happened but sums my DM up perfectly.
We had barely started to plan our wedding, DP was born in UK but MIL is from a different culture where the mother tends to give the groom away just like the father would give the bride away in most. We have decided to incorporate this into our ceremony as we knew MIL would be touched and it would mean the world to her.

When I told my DM she came back within a few mins with this scary giddy look in her eye and announced that she should walk me down the aisle with DF too and wouldn't that be so great and lovely! Of course there was a sulk and "you must be ashamed of me" when she was gently (and I mean VERY gently) turned down.
In hindsight it's probably a good thing DS showed up and we postponed the wedding as I can now see how people were trying to get involved in it and we were blind to it at the time, in my minds eye I can fully see my DM turn up in white! She did say she wanted a long ball gown not a knee length dress for the wedding.

I came to visit mum one day before the wedding and found her and my sisters had just finished doing the seating chart for my wedding.

One sister was very helpfully going to drop it into the hotel. All of this without me knowing.

I just calmly scrunched it up and did my own seating plan later. People are mad when it comes to weddings.

Someone at a very small wedding I went to stole about 90% of the cards while we were out doing confetti. I think it was the best man. What a cock. About £800 gone.

And I thought that the groom's party running out of the reception and going to a local pub was bad.. The pub was supposed to do a very strong cider but they were out of it so the party stayed for one and then came back

Most of my parents wedding photos have my 3yr old cousin dropping his trousers and peeing on the side of the church in them. Cause they had such a large wedding party and everyone was focusing on the photographer, no one noticed the leak had sprung until the photos came back! Hes now 24 and will never live it down 😂.

My sisters wedding was quite a cute story, but must have been a tiny bit annoying for her on her special day. Her friend went into labour and gave birth on the dance floor just 7minutes later waiting for the ambulance. I suppose the friend would never forget my sisters anniversary though...

I was asked 18 months in advance to be the maid of honour, discovered 3 days before the wedding I had been replaced - just a bridemaids. Bride didn't even tell me though we were suppose to be "sisters". My biological father gave her away and I don't think I can ever forgive her for stealing that moment from me as his only daughter, wasn't even married to her mum (in fact married to someone else for 20 years at that point!). Then there was the photo of bride with siblings and partners, I don't have the latter so I wasn't included because I am shock horror single. Must say it was an awful day, emotionally taxing and brought bitter feelings since I always believed my father replaced me with her. Made me feel bad and what little sisterly feelings I might have had, have surely gone. Nothing like a wedding to rip to pieces a family.

Groom's mother - alcoholic, poor woman, although not admitted/undiagnosed and untreated at that point - got drunk and smushed a sausage roll into the (vegetarian) bride's face at the reception. "You stole my boy" etc. It was AWFUL. Bride - a friend of mine - made some face-saving remark about it not being the sort of sausage she'd been hoping for on her wedding night but actually she was devastated.

Groom sided with bride and hasn't spoken to his mother since.

Brides sister who was also a bridesmaid got off with the grooms cousin in middle off the dance floor in front of her parents, her own husband and her children, early on in the evening before even the evening guest arrived.

I did a speech at a wedding with some other friends, we’d all been friends for year and the bride asked us to do a joint speech. We were a bit uncomfortable as we aren’t natural public speakers, and it’s not like we were bridesmaids or anything, but we did it as we were friends of course. The problem was we followed the father of the bride and his speech lasted FORTY MINUTES. FORTY. He had a powerpoint with baby photos of the bride and a map of where everyone came from, plus mini tributes to those who were no longer with us. It was long, dull and just bad.
By the time it got to us everyone was exhausted and nearly asleep..nobody cared what we had to say…we could’ve recited the phonebook and got an obligatory clap!

A friend went to a wedding where they didn’t serve any food or drink until after the speeches, there had been no canapes and it was a boiling hot day in summer in a marquee so everyone sat there sweating, hungry and desperate for water! Photos had taken 2 hours after the ceremony and most people had driven from afar so hadn’t really eaten much.
The only thing they were given was a small flute with warm fizz. It was on a national trust site and one person apparently snuck out to buy a bottle of water from the gift shop! Also as nobody had been drinking and everyone was uncomfortable, nobody laughed at any jokes…
Obviously the caterers weren’t aware of this strange arrangement either as when the food was finally served it was very dry, as if it had been desperately reheated for ages…

loopylass, not to deride your obvious pain (the bridesmaid thing is a bitch) but if you Dad has raised your step sibling for such a long time, then surely it is OK that he gave her away? It doesn't take away from you and your relationship with him

I find it hard enough to imagine having the state of mind that a woman had 'stolen' my son (as yet none existent, so maybe it's some hormonal bollocks). I find the idea of saying it out loud verging on the insane.

My aunt (also aunt of the bride) insisted I be in the photo of the bride and her female friends - in essence the hen party. I was waiting for the family of the bride photo so couldn't just walk away. She had also allegedly made a big fuss that I wasn't a bridesmaid - I had no wish to be and don't know my cousin that well so there was no reason why I should be (she may just have told us she made a fuss thinking we'd be pleased). She was being so loud and insistent, all the while acting as if I was upset, that I stepped in and joined the group after saying no several times. I feel really sorry for my cousin that she had a random person in what should have been a nice photo of her friends. About ten years on I'm still cross about this! My cousins don't like me and I'm sure this is part of the reason... My aunt has form for being pushy because she wants us to love her best. It doesn't work.

QueenofallIsee - the thing is she had a dad on her own. Basically she has the same sort of relationship with her biological father as I have had with my biological father. I can't help but feel if she had been only allowed to see her father as only dad, that maybe my own father would have had room enough for me. My true issues of contention should really face in my Dad's direction but the fact she has been so bitchy over the years has made it hard not to expand the hate. I don't want her as my sister. I never did. To sound like a child "it is not fair!!". Unfortunately I am a grown up so all of these feelings I keep to myself. Suppose if i was truthful with them all, I'd be scared of losing what little I had of my dad. Nice to have a wedding theme to have a rant, my little bit of therapy for the day x

Church wedding and the Priest started by saying 'well let's get on with it, we all want to watch the football match later don't we.' Throughout the whole ceremony, as he was reading from the prayer book, he preceded every sentence with 'and then the book says...'

One family - parents and three children - turned up in matching shiny shell suits (to which there was a fair amount of under-hand sniggering)

Several children chose to have races up and down the aisle while their parents looked on adoringly.

The B and G are now divorced.

I did go to a wedding with a 40-minute best man's speech, but the best men were the groom's brothers and it was actually pretty funny at least.

So glad i’m Eloping x

My BIL recommended a photographer to us who turned out to be someone he knew quite well. I asked the two photographers to take lots of informal shots as I wanted a relaxed album. On the day I was busy mingling and didn't notice they had disappeared. When they put the photos online, my BIL had basically taken them off for a private photo shoot of his family. There were loads of photos of them. 10 years later my MIL still has one of these photos of my niece and nephew in her living room but none of me and DH on our wedding day

I still regret not kicking off at the photographer at the chunk of my day not documented

This is nothing like as good as some, but it did my head in at the time. When we announced our engagement, MIL was very keen that we invite some of her and FIL's friends who had known DH growing up. I'll call them Janet and Roy. Now, DH hadn't seen Janet and Roy for at least twenty years and I couldn't have picked them out of a police line-up, but fair enough, it mattered to MIL and FIL. So we invited them.

This couple then declined the invite, because they had a holiday booked. I was relieved (no random strangers at our wedding, yay!) MIL and FIL were seriously upset. On and on and on and ON AND ON they went. They'd sent Janet and Roy the date as soon as we booked it. How could they have ended up booking a holiday? Mind you it was a bridge cruise (as in a cruise where you play bridge -kill me now) so maybe they were tied in to dates. But still, for a wedding...

After literally an hour of this mithering, I finally said, as nicely as I could, "You know, I don't actually mind that they're not coming." To which FIL replies, "Yes, but WE DO! We had to go to THEIR son's wedding twelve years ago, and we got LOST on the way to the church! It was AWFUL!"

So basically, we invited two people who could have sent stunt doubles for all I'd notice, as some form of bizarre revenge for an event MIL and FIL had attended over a decade ago, and not enjoyed.

This was fourteen years ago and DH and I both now find it funny. At the time, maybe not so much.

That's hilarious Outrageous! Presumably your DH knew nothing about the revenge aspect either?!

1. was a guest at a wedding where the bride was so smashed (had been sinking drinks since 7am heavily) she fell over walking down the aisle. Once she had righted herself at the alter, her veil fell off.

2. MIL just didn't show up to our wedding. Cunt.

3. one of my "friends" at our wedding decided he didn't like anyone at his table and loudly announced this to someone who was a friend of the table when smoking. Therefore everyone hated him. He just took off and left mid-way through the meal without saying goodbye! Haven't heard from him since!

We didn't have a DJ at our wedding as it was a very warm summer and we figured people would spend most of the time outside, so we had put together our own playlist and put it on my phone. We plugged it into the speakers and it worked a treat - I enjoyed dancing to some cheesy classics as well as all the indie tunes from my uni days.

What I did not enjoy was when a so-called friend unplugged my phone and plugged his phone in to play his own choice of music, something that apparently describes itself as "instrumental Celtic fusion". A total racket of bagpipes and wailing, really not wedding appropriate When he finally plugged my phone back in, he put the wrong playlist on - I was outside and didn't notice, but none of the songs on that list were proper dancy songs, so it must've seemed really weird to anyone who wanted to dance

A big hotel wedding of my husband's childhood friend. I think we'd just made the cut because we were pinned into the corner with the groom's idiot friends who snuck alcohol in and so the table were threatened with being kicked out.

The speeches revolved around a a long dead relative who had played a sport for the country and a big song and dance made about the fact the bride and groom had donated the favours money to charity while simultaneously opening their gifts to each other (3k watch for him!).

In Germany if you want a church wedding, you have to marry first in your local town hall before you can marry in church.
At my ' first ' wedding there was a well dressed elderly lady who attended the ceremony and the reception meal afterwards which was a large buffet.
By the time I had returned from being ' stolen ' some hours later she had disappeared and I thought no more of her.
When we had our 'second ' wedding a few months later the lady wasn't there.
I asked my Husband if maybe she had forgotten, he had no idea who I was talking about, so I showed him our wedding pictures and pointed her out.
He thought she was a relative of mine and I had assumed that she was a relative of his.
I just had to admire her nerve and wonder how many free meals and drinks she had managed to get by doing what she did.

Any wedding where someone behaves overtly mawkish. I've seen more than one future MiL quite literally wailing when speeches are being made.

One I went to, the bride was a colleague of my mum. Her mother got revoltingly drunk, swearing and being really embarrassing.
She fell over on the dance floor and said she had twisted her ankle.
My dad somehow ended up carrying her to her room - basically he and my mum were asked to help to avoid further embarrassment to the bride. My mum said that the lady swore like a docker, was really awful when they got in the lift with other people.
Anyway they got her to her room and left her passed out on the bed.
Next morning it turned out she had a broken ankle.

Thought I'd share a nice "crazy" one for some balance!

My cousin and her husband aren't traditional at all, and decided to have a fancy dress wedding. With a sci-fi theme! Now my family are all very middle class church goers, so there was definitely some raised eyebrows when the invites went out. Being peaceful folk though we just went with it.

Well it was absolutely fab. The groom was Tennant era Dr Who so wore a suit, some of the guests were into cosplay so made a massively impressive effort, and I went as Arthur Dent from HHGTTG so got to spend the day in my pyjamas They even had a sci-fi quiz at the reception which our table won (hubby and I also big nerds.)

It was a brilliant day, and my parents felt quite bad that they'd pooh-poohed it. We were glad we'd gone with it. It was a perfect day for the couple and filled a lot of laughter.