What's going on, Sashimi? Do you want to talk about it here in more detail? Would it help?
Life often throws up incredibly difficult patches, things that feel - at the time - as though they may actually break you in two. Most things, you can, and will, live through.
You will emerge changed - and whether that is a good change or a bad change is (to an extent) in your hands. At the very least, it should, hopefully, leave you with an appreciation of how good it is to sail in calmer waters. That sense (of the value of the banal, of the everyday, of calm waters) is something that passes a lot of people by - and can even lead to disaster in some people (when they dismiss the calm and over-value the extraordinary) - so having that realisation can be a gift, if you recognise it as such. Certainly, when/if the sailing get easier, take a moment to just recognise and acknowledge the incredible joy in the very, very ordinariness of life. Appreciate the bonds with others you have. Take pleasure in the simple fact of breathing in and out, and sunlight falling on a table.
And you will change because you have learnt from the rough sailing. So recognise the knowledge you gain from this experience, the things you've gained - if only an ability to keep going, and to be resilient. You will have learnt more about yourself, about what you are capable of enduring, and you will have learnt things about how to deal with out-of-the-ordinary life-experiences, too.
So recognise that, and draw strength from it.
Good luck - and I hope that events fall in a way that is ultimately good for you and those you love.