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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Noisy children in pub

205 replies

retirementrocks · 25/03/2018 19:21

AIBU to think that it is not ok for parents to allow their children to run around a pub and in and out of the toilets making one hell of a racket whilst they sit and chat to their friends? Just visited our local...expect it to be busy as it is Sunday and it is a popular pub for a family lunch, but we left after one drink because the noise was just too much. It took one of the bar staff to politely twice ask the parents to ask their children to be a bit quieter and not to run around but to no avail. It's a pub not a frigging playground!

OP posts:
RoseWhiteTips · 26/03/2018 10:19

Lethaldrizzle

I once saw a drunk man fall over and but his head in a pub. People are unbelievably stupid

Did he trip over an out of control child having “fun” and annoying the hell out of everyone?

Snowysky20009 · 26/03/2018 10:20

Years ago we went to a Brewers Fayre type place and we were sat on end of the restaurant close to the door which was open as it was summer.
There was a little boy running around about 2 1/2-3, up and down the restaurant, under people's tables, trying to push the doors open to the toilets, and trying to go through the open door, which led straight into the carpark.
Three times I grabbed just as he went through the door, and took him back to his parents who laughed when I explained why I was bringing their child back.
I then went out for a cigarette which was around the corner from this door. A few minutes later, who should come running out? So I dropped my cigarette, gave chase, and took hold of his hand. He started screaming and crying, so I picked hi

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 26/03/2018 10:20

I'd love to know where all you perfect parents who control your kids are when I have a night out. It seems like nearly every child is running around uncontrollably so can you please tell me where you take yours so I can have a more peaceful evening? Please. Pretty please.

ThisIsTheFirstStep · 26/03/2018 10:21

lethal in my experience, yes. I lived in Spain for 4 years and people tend to tell each other’s kids what to do without much trouble. Not the case in the UK.

crunchymint · 26/03/2018 10:24

Of course European children are not generally better behaved, but in many countries they are better behaved when in restaurants.

Creambun2 · 26/03/2018 10:25

I have good friends with children who are Spanish (some who live in Spain some who live here) - all this stuff about Spanish kids brilliant behaviour and instantly being quiet is a myth, though I guess Spanish parents wish it were true!

staydazzling · 26/03/2018 10:25

as a teen with school we did trips in European hostels and came across many other school trips nationalities, the German boys football trips were always horrendous the teachers would get drunk to the point our teacher would usher us out , the lads disconnected the smoke alarms and threw cigs and adult material out the windows GrinGrin I didn't then make the assumption all German kids must be like that.

Snowysky20009 · 26/03/2018 10:26

Opps
So I picked him up. Still no parents.
Carried him in and all the tables went silent. I walked up to his parents and explained why I was carrying their child, and their response was 'oh he must be getting tired, it's probably best if he carries on running around so he'll sleep tonight',Hmm and man from the table over said 'it's probably best you watch your child', and then another women said 'it's probably best you took him home to sleep'.
But every table was watching, they'd all been watching him run around, yet the parents seemed completely oblivious.Hmm

ThisIsTheFirstStep · 26/03/2018 10:27

creambun don’t exaggerate what was said. No one is saying they’re instantly quiet or miraculously well behaved but I’ve never, in four years and many visits, seen any running around a pub screaming and yelling and bumping into people. I see it almost every weekend in the UK.

crunchymint · 26/03/2018 10:27

staydazzling What inappropriate things are people talking about in public at lunchtime?

BeyondThePage · 26/03/2018 10:34

I must lead a sheltered life, not come across this sort of behaviour - went to a Bella Italia on Saturday - lots of kids, little and not so little - all sat nicely - even the birthday party of some undeterminable age (between 5 and 10) where there were 8 of them and 3 adults.

Went to a Harvester the previous week - a very definition of "family friendly" and no mucking about in there either. It is not like we are stay-at-home folks we are out every week or every other.

what places are people going where such a lack of respect to the customers and premises is being allowed? Why on earth would people go back?

StickThatInYourPipe · 26/03/2018 10:34

The problem is if you say that you hate this stuff, some people will jump down your throat about hating children and accuse you of thinking children should be seen and not heard. But that is just not true.

I hate seeing children running around in a restaurant, a) it is dangerous and b) you always get a random kid coming up to your table and staring at you. If you speak to the child like ‘oh hello! I Like your (enter whatever here)’ the parent will come running up and grabbing the child, and shooting you an evil look like you’re about to abduct them!

The noise is fine, if sat at a table/with the parent etc, it is when they are screaming whilst swinging on the toilet door or running about shouting whilst getting in everyone’s way.

I don’t even care about the odd scream at a table (even if it pierces through my soul) but not constantly through the whole meal!

DameDoom · 26/03/2018 10:36

My own (now nc) sister heaped shame on DH and me when we took them out for Sunday lunch years ago.
My youngest nephew was flinging soupy croutons across the dining room at fellow diners whilst the eldest weaved and dodged waitresses in heelies. Neither had any concept of using cutlery - never mind properly but at all!
Our mother must have been spinning in her grave. I hate my sister for deliberately dragging her kids up. She was taught basic manners but has made damn sure her kids haven't.

PeapodBurgundy · 26/03/2018 10:38

YABU to expect no noisy children in a family friendly pub on a Sunday. That being said, YANBU to expect no semi feral children in the pub at any given time. Children aren't robots, they're never going to behave how you want them to 100% of the time, but the fact that the parents weren't calling them on it would have pissed me off beyond measure!

crunchymint · 26/03/2018 10:41

beyondthepage It is middle class kids who are 'spirited'. I always find working class kids are in general better behaved when eating out.

DotCottonDotCom · 26/03/2018 10:45

Some people see 'Family friendly' and think "Great, I'll down lots of bevvies and my kids can do as they please

Yup, witnessed myself, two guys in a family friendly pub we were in last week and their kids were running up and down in front of people carrying drinks and food. It was almost as if they were lumped with the kids and the friendly friendly pub was the only option they had to get their Sunday bevvies in.

I personally don't drink alcohol in front of my children, I've been dragged up in pubs to the point it was literally neglect by alcoholic and abusive parents.

MargaretCavendish · 26/03/2018 10:50

European children are generally very well behaved in comparison to the British variety. Trying to claim this is not the case, is pointless.

I wouldn't presume to speak for a whole continent as you have, but in Southern Italy I have regularly seen small children running around, screaming and being disruptive at dinner time (even at fairly nice restaurants) to an extent I've actually never seen in the UK.

crunchymint · 26/03/2018 10:51

Yes I have seen people take babies and young kids in pubs while they get drunk. There was a very rough pub near us that got closed down, where there would be parents with babies and toddlers during the day getting totally pissed. Nobody in their right mind would have went near that pub though. It was shameless on steroids.

SpringNowPlease2018 · 26/03/2018 10:56

even as a teen I hated holidays in Europe because there were always little kids running about in the evening

as an adult, it was much easier to go to the US and find a nice bar with no children but I gather it's changed over there now

still no good suggestions of childfree pubs? Just goes to show.

how Britain can be described as anti child I will never know.

I wonder if that's why MN goes on about spas so much - because they don't allow children presumably?

staydazzling · 26/03/2018 11:08

stuff people talk about whilst drunk with friends use your imagination. crunchymint

PeapodBurgundy · 26/03/2018 11:13

Are there no pubs around with a separate bar and lounge any more? I remember going to pick up my Grandad from the pub as a child, and he would be in a room where children weren't allowed, so I waited in the car while DM went to tattle on the window to let him know she was there (we still had a phone with a dial at this point, so definitely no mobiles Grin )

I got to a pub at least once a week with my 2year old, but it's through the day, and I've never seen anyone having alcohol at that time. It's in our local leisure centre, so mainly people having a catch up and cuppa pre\post workout, and people having lunch. We went to a Weatherspoon for lunch yesterday, and although people were drinking, nobody was drunk. I can't imagine wanting my child around drunken strangers.

crunchymint · 26/03/2018 11:20

staydazzling I ask because I suspect you are being over protective. I have never heard anyone talking at lunchtime about anything unsuitable, and rarely even late in the evening.

sexnotgender · 26/03/2018 11:20

I worked in hospitality for 13 years, YANBU OP!

I had no issue telling parents to control their children.

gillybeanz · 26/03/2018 11:25

YANBU, there's no such thing as a family pub.
I think people would complain if Johnny or jennie happened across a rowdy bunch of sweary men, so why should adults put up with other people's noisy children.
Pubs are for grown ups, take your kids somewhere else or parent them.

DameDoom · 26/03/2018 11:27

Have to say - as a teacher - many children behave impeccably in restaurants, pubs etc. and are a real credit. As it's my job, I go out of my way to notice these kids although, admittedly, they are becoming more rare.