Is it me or is it him?

[blondeambitious]

If a guy implies heavily you have a future together of sorts, takes you on dates but ultimately is just in it for the sex (he wants you to stay over and you don't - he goes cold), would he have wanted a relationship if you were different?

i guess what I'm asking is, is it me or circumstances? He was very recently single and probably hurting after a bad break-up. I was quite straight-up that I was looking for a relationship.

We got on so well and really enjoyed hanging out - was it me? Was I just not good enough for him? If he meets someone who is more beautiful/mature/switched-on, will he want a relationship with her?

He was prob just after sex. A lot of guys (and gals) are. Try not to take it personally or overthink it. You will find the right guy eventually!

Yes but what I'm asking is would he want a relationship with the right person? He is a relationships kind of guy and was with his ex for several years, and had other gfs in the past

have you posted about this before

or today under a different name - seems very familiar!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3204152-Why-would-someone-do-this

what I'm asking is would he want a
relationship with the right person?

Who knows?

However, In my opinion, probably. People say they don’t want a relationship but if you meet the right person and fall head over heels in love with them, then of course you do.

However, please don’t take it to mean, for one millionth of a second that there’s anything wrong with you, or you did anything wrong! Or that he’s not an arsehole!
Relationships and attaraction are very bizarre things, there’s no rule book.

When you don't stay over he also probably feels rejected and, hence, goes cold. Doesn't mean you should have stayed over though.

Rebound.
He wasn't ready for another proper relationship so soon, you would most likely had a short-term rebound fling. If that's not what you were after then all you did was saved yourself from a heart-break.
All above is wild speculation of course.

To mean it means he isn't over the ex.

I've been in this situation myself in the past and was used. If you have made yourself clear about wanting a relationship then don't compromise and don't give in.

It depends on a lot of things, including how long you'd been going out with him for. I don't know that you can say he was "just in it for the sex". To him, having sex, even very early on, might be an integral part of developing a relationship and he viewed your refusal to have sex/take things slow as a sign that you were incompatible.

Not that either of you were wrong, just possible incompatible or at different stages.

Rebound! But I met my DP when I was on the rebound and couldn't commit to him so I left it for a few months before I was ready and was able to commit. I guess this doesn't always happen though

Rebound x