Lazy Dh and lazy kids

[purplelila2]

I've got 3 kids and I work full-time , kids are 12,5, 4.

I make my 12 year old help out round the house after much protest on his behalf. He never wants to do anything and apparently I treat him like a "slave" . All he wants to do is sit playing computer games or on his phone.

During the week I don't get home till 6.30 /6.45 or if I finish early then 5.30.

My Dh does night shift and works 4 days, and he does the school runs etc.

Come weekends he doesn't do much he sits around playing on his Xbox...

Saturday i cooked them all a nice meal did the laundry and asked 3 times for the dirty clothes they've both dumped upstairs to be brought down to be washed, and neither of them has done it.

Aibu to have left it there for them to wash themselves? I've also now refused to tumble dry the stuff that's come out of the tumble dryer.

*come out of the washing machine

No, I'd just leave it especially as you've asked. They will hopefully learn when they still have dirty clothes and they want to wear nice clean ones.

Yep, leave it there. That's the rule in this house - if it's not in the laundry bag, it doesn't get washed.

Probably being stupid but it had me in tears, like the unpaid skivvy .

They all want everything handed to them on a plate but don't want to pull their weight.

The younger 2 leave wrappers or packets lying around . I'm trying to teach them to not leave the house a shit hole but it's a losing battle

I hear you op. I find it really disrespectful and I don't work full time.
I don't know what the answer is though because when I went "on strike" my DH just bought more socks and pants and polo shirts, my teenager complained and wore slightly dirty uniform for three days (which I hated). The washing built up and it was a pain to get back under control. No one cares really; that's the issue.

My mum used to take my sister's wrappers, dirty plates and apple cores and put them under her duvet for her to find and deal with. Only had to do it a couple of times!!

I would casually say at 6pm to-night "I hope all the washing has been brought down and washed as you will have very little time to get it dry for tomorrow am" and see the look of disgust on their faces,but I expect you have already circumed and gone and done it yourself you poor thing,its a ballbreaker when they are so lazy and really need a good shake up to get them on track,if they did as asked they would have loads of free time for themselves.
I would tell hubby I will need to give up work so I can fit in all the other jobs I have to do and see his reaction.

I like the idea of putting wrappers etc. in their bed.

I'm sure my mum used to say "if you don't bin your rubbish there'll be rats!".

ZigZagIntoTheBlue I love that idea will have to try that.

Nope I haven't given in and washed it, dh has gone to his parents now with the kids and did load the washing machine before he went.

I won't do anything with it he will have to dry it himself or the 12 year old will have to pull his finger out.

I'm really annoyed with my dh his laziness pisses me off like nothing else.

He doesn't work Mondays, aside from the school run he's free. Does he clean or tidy? Nope .

He knows I'll get home late and will feed himself and the kids , but anything for me? Nope. "I don't know what you eat because you're vegetarian"... yep that's right I can sort myself out.

And the 5 year olds homework is left until i get home as he 'finds it too hard or doesn't understand' . By which time she's too tired to concentrate . Same with her reading.

I said to him on the phone you don't have any respect or consideration for me I cook nice meals for you , clean up after you and do your laundry. His response that's normal.

We've had this conversation several times and I'm sick of it . he constantly has to be told 'i forget because I do night shift which is your fault' .