Ready for a baby but too worried

[Sunflowerhappy]

I have a dd who is 8 who I had when I was an 18 year old. When I was pregnant I lost my job and had to move in with parents and go on benefits. I was a single mum. It was a horrible time although dd was brilliant and I don't regret having her.

Fast forward....ive been with my partner for 7 years. We have a mortgage and we both work full time. We want a baby but I have so much on my mind.

I'm 4 stone overweight. Although I'm very fit for a fatty and sporty. I don't want to be fat and pregnant, I worry about my health, the babies health and I worry about becoming even fatter after pregnancy.

I had spd with dd and I could hardly walk. It will probably happen with this one which will impact on my ability to do my job as it's not a desk job. It will impact my weight and my happiness.

I also worry about work. My boss is a horrible person. I've been off sick this week with tonsilitis that I ended up in hospital with and he was vile to the point I got my union involved and they urge me to put in a grievance. He also holds grudges. I've saw him punish staff for mundane things that would normally get swept under the carpet because he just doesn't like them.
I worry he makes my life difficult as a pregnant employee and if I run into any health implications then he will not help me or support me. I just worry I end up jobless like I did before. And I need to work.

I feel like throwing caution to the wind and just going for it cause we both want it but I worry about all the things above.

This might sound odd but in a weird way you might be protected from your boss by being pregnant. Because pregnancy discrimination is illegal he may be cautious about his usual bullying antics. I don't know if that's a naive hope though!

Many overweight people have totally healthy pregnancies with no issues. Maybe you could speak to your GP about your concerns and see what they say?

Good luck OP - you have to do what's right for you and going to make your life happy!

Presumably you’re only 26, so there’s no great rush to get pregnant? There is a higher risk of complications, including miscarriage and stillbirth, for obese women. Why not work on improving your health and losing the excess fat before embarking on pregnancy?
Also, if your boss is such a shit, you could use this time to look for a better job. A higher salary would be helpful when trying to cover childcare costs later, and you would be much less stressed in a supportive workplace with a decent boss.
I think you need to take care of yourself, and address your own needs and happiness, before adding another child to the mix.
Best wishes for your health, and future pregnancy, whenever you decide to go for it!

I'm healthy eating just now so we will see if I am successful. I'm going to the gym too.

It's not easy for me to get another job. I have no academic qualifications. I do have qualifications in the industry i was in before but those jobs aren't suitable for families and the pay and hours are awful.
This job pays ok for a part time role and I'm able to do breakfast club and school pick up which saves on childcare and because I finish in the afternoon it means I can get tea on or take dd to clubs...so looking for another job is out of the question really. I have looked at basic admin jobs but they pay less and they are longer hours.
I doubt i would be able to make 10 quid an hour in any other part time unskilled job.