To still be holding a grudge with DH?

[Grudgeholder]

On Friday we had an appointment with a breeder to go and see a kitten. The appointment had been made for a week and DH was well aware of it and the distance it would take for us to get there and back.
To cut a long story short DH cancelled the appointment 5 minutes before we were due to set off as he wanted to go out to the pub with his mate instead. In the process of doing this he hung up on me several times, tried to belittle me that I didn’t feel able to drive there alone without any directions and generally just made me feel like I was totally unreasonable for being upset about his actions.

I did get quite het up about it but mostly due to the hanging up and last minute change of plans. I struggle to process changes to plans and need a minute to get my head around it.

Anyway he went off believing he was fine to act the way he did. I was at work yesterday but today I still feel annoyed at him. I know it’s silly and I hate to hang on to a grudge but it’s just the way he’s doesn’t feel like he should apologise that’s bugging me. The cancellation was annoying but I could get over that, I just don’t see why he’s refusing to apologise! He never admits when he’s in the wrong and it grates.

Aibu? Do I need to get over myself?

That’s really shitty of him. I would be really upset too. It’s the lack of respect he showed you. I wouldn’t be letting it go until he got it!

Yes it was him that pushed for the specific breed! I’m quite happy with a moggy but can also see the appeal of a breed. I know MN doesn’t like breeders generally but I have been careful in finding a decent one.

Jayne this is where it could get deeper on the perils of being a SAHM and always being there. I have worked on this and got a small job.

Right well I’m just going to carry on as I was. All he needs to do is admit he was a dick and apologise. Easy as that.

Sounds like he likes designer breeds then. I agree that he behaved badly but in those circumstances I would have rung the breeder and asked if I could go a bit later, after I've looked it up on google maps. You obviously have some internet connection as you're on Mumsnet.

Most websites have a location plan of some sort as well.

Yabu for buying rather than rescuing IMO.

Good job he showed how much he cared about a cat BEFORE he went and got one. Does he realise they are a commitment for life ?
He is being a prick but are you probably annoying him with your lack of independence.

Public transport?

He's an arse. Don't bring any kittens or more children into this mix. He let you down, belittled you, and prioritised going down the pub over a prior commitment. That is not good partner material.

Why aren't you angry with his behaviour?

'YABU to consider getting a kitten from a breeder when you could go to a shelter.

And your husband sounds like a dick.'
^

This

A) buy a smartphone
B) use Google maps
Or C) buy sat nav.

It's pretty pathetic using him as an excuse as to why you won't drive there. You've got your license and if you are that much of a nervous driver then you shouldn't be on the road!

Oh Yeh, your partner is an arse.

I struggle to process changes to plans too and I hate driving to new places. I often wonder if the two are linked. I'd feel exactly the same as you.

Love all the people ignoring the issue of your partner letting you down though and banging on about smart phones and rescue cats.

Yes exactly. OP needing to get some more independence is a completely separate issue to her husband treating her like shit. One doesn’t excuse the other.

Regardless of your DH's behaviour, please reconsider buying a cat from a breeder - there are so many cats and kittens in rescue centres who desperately need rehoming.