Do you think this is a real memory?

[Joleney]

I was talking with my dc about what their earliest memories were - of home, of school etc., and my dd said that her earliest coherent memory is from when she was in reception and would have been 4 or 5.

She says that there were 4 tables, and about 5 kids sat at each one - this was "their table". Each table had a pencil pet with one pencil of each colour.

One afternoon, dd and one other girl, who I'll call Rosie, were sitting at a different table to the one they both normally sat at, finishing off a piece of work. They were being supervised by an American exchange teaching assistant.

Rosie said to my dd, "This table has 2 green pencils. That's not fair. Shall we steal one?"

Dd says she remembers saying "Yeah!" excitedly.

By stealing, she presumes Rosie meant take the pencil to their table. They never actually did this of course, and dd immediately forgot about the conversation.

The next day, however, their rather scary reception teacher gathered all the children and got them to sit on the floor. She then said, "I have heard that 2 girls have been talking about stealing from this school. Would those 2 girls please stand up?" (I.e. The American exchange student had reported them)

Dd says that she didn't realise the teacher was talking about her, but after about 30 seconds, Rosie stood up, and then it twigged, and she stood up to.

Do you think this sounds like a real memory? Or something that dd has embellished in her mind over the years? I suppose it just seems like rather an overreaction on the part of the teacher when a quiet word with the girls about how you shouldn't joke about stealing would have sufficed.

Did she provided that account unprompted? If so it’s almost certainly a real memory. Details like the 2 green pencils and the US student are pretty authentic details for me. 4 to 5 is generally the earliest memories that we tend to have and the fact that there was potentially heightened emotion ( having to stand up) would make it more likely to be remembered. I would put money on it being true.

I think it could be true. I have been amazed at what my eldest can remember clearly, even when it happened many years before and my own memories are pretty hazy. Not unusual for incidents that happened at three/four to be recalled with a fair amount of detail.

I think it's probably true in its basis, it's very detailed. Injustice or humiliation cut deep and leave memories even at that age. My reception teacher took a dislike to me (I was youngest in the class, a bit mousy and very advanced with reading - not a stealth boast - which I think was probably annoying for her to try to differentiate for me. Basically I got on her nerves I think). She picked on me mercilessly until it got to the point that my Mum had to literally drag me sobbing into school every day. I was terrified of that teacher.

That was 45 years ago and I can still see the classroom in my mind's eye, where I sat, who with and remember the sick feeling of dread every day etc.

Obviously my experience was more extreme (and thankfully my parents moved me to a different, lovely school) but memories can definitely embed very clearly at that age.

Could be true but no big deal surely?

Sounds unlikely to me. Overly detailed for a 4 year old ime.

I suppose it cold be true. However, at this point I don't think it matters; it was years ago, I assume.