How to get over intense feelings?

[Setmefreeplease]

I genuinely thought he was the perfect man for me - we got on better than anyone else I have ever met. Am an overthinker at the best of times and really struggling to let things go. I liked his looks and really fancied him but the worst thing is, it was his personality and confidence I really fell for. Been single for years and quite picky - don’t think I will find anyone similar/better. Best dates I’ve been on in years

Bump

How long were you together, op? I presume he ended it?

He did - only a month but the connection was something else. I know he was with someone who cheated on him around three months before we got together and I don’t know if that was part of it? He let it fizzle. I did feel like he liked me though which makes the pain worse

Sounds like you came on too strong and scared him off.

You need to distract yourself. Keep busy, extra hours in work if possible. Days/nights out with friends and family. Get a new hobby. Don't be sitting in dwelling on him. After a while you'll forget about him and hopefully meet someone else.

It's hard, OP. But it's a crush and it will pass.
For me, I find focusing on other things and distracting myself helps. I used my friends in lieu of ex to fill that 'chat about my day' void.
HTH.

Some people are charming and can make you feel like you are with the most amazing person on earth (them) when you are in their company.
I'm a cynical old witch and if someone appears too perfect it may be too good to be true.
Get up, brush yourself down & start planning lovely things to do with friends/family. You will feel sad of course but battle through those feelings.
If his actions have made you feel wretched he is NOT the person for you.

Thanks all. If anything he came on too strong and then when I met him halfway, he pulled back. But some great advice here

I think time and distraction are the best things. I know it’s horrible though OP, especially when they creep into your brain when you least suspect it.

In time, you will not feel as strongly about him as you do now. I know this isn’t a great comfort at this stage, but try to remember this is temporary and it won’t last forever. Keep that thought in your mind.

Delete his number/social media to avoid any temptation to see what he’s up to and think about him, or worst, contact him! Out of sight is out of mind. Keep yourself busy with hobbies, work, things around the house - channel your energy into positive things. Get back out there too when you feel ready, date other people and see what else the singles market has to offer. He’s not the one, he’s just one!