To wonder if this is the start of being "left out" and not sure how I feel about it.

[NapQueen]

Betty went on Mat Leave. Jill moved up into Bettys role. I was hired to backfill Jills. This lasted a year, now Betty is back.

Betty, Jill and I have a couple of weeks together to handover then Im moving to another role in the organisation. Small company, 20 people all in.

Betty and Jill (and I for 6 months) used to be managed by Bob. He left. Bob is good friends with Debra, another Manager.

Yesterday Debra said she was meeting Bob for lunch, very excited to catch up with him, I said to say I was asking after him. She left at about 12ish. About 5 mins later Jill and Betty put their coats on and say "we are just popping out, wont be long". There are only the three of us in the office.

After about 30 mins I realise theyve not just popped out to pick up lunch but must have gone with Debra to meet Bob out for lunch.

They all get back to the office together about 2 hours after they left.

Neither Betty or Jill mentioned at any point in the day or days prior what they were doing and they didnt put it into their calendars that they were out for an extended lunch together (which is the norm in our place as we are so small to ensure enough coverage in the departments).

Im not annoyed about a lack of invitation, they have a longer history with Bob than I did so thats fine, but it feels like it was all very cloak and dagger. And Im annoyed about not being checked in with "Nap, we are popping out for a longer lunch together you ok to cover?"

Aibu?

They should've just said. I hate cloak and dagger crap. YANBU but don't worry about it as they're obviously too socially inept to just be upfront about it.

That's just incredibly rude of them. Rude to not invite you (the longer history with Bob seems irrelevant), rude to think you are too stupid to work out what was going on, and rude to assume your workload would allow you to be able to cover without checking.

Yanbu. I detest this subtle crap that makes you look highly strung for being bothered about but in fact wouldn't have been an issue if, like you say, they'd just asked for you to cover whilst they met up with Bob.

Now I generally take it as an indication that one/all of the offending group would have had an issue with the situation which is why they chose to behave the way they did expecting you to feel the same. It's petty and personally I dislike people jumping to conclusions about me based on their own standards.

It may be a one off but perhaps it's time to start keeping an eye out for something else in case it becomes a pattern of never ending ridiculous office politics.

Trouble is, some people do get very bothered by work colleagues going to a lunch they are not invited to. It is hard to know who might be upset as reactions can be surprising.

If this is a one off, I'd leave it. Only bring it up if the n warnings about long lunches continues.

I honestly have no time for petty office politics. People want to go for lunch / night out / weekends away together, get on with it.

But to just slyly make plans which affect my day (what if I had planned to go out for lunch?) and then not acknowledge what they are doing?

Olivia Jill and I had only recently had a conversation about this. Another department had all gone out for lunch together (with properly planned cover) and she mentioned how it was rude of them to not extend the invite out to the whole building.

I disagreed with her and said as long as they have cover and return when they say they will then sniping over "who is in the club" just wouldnt even occur to me.

Jill knows I wouldnt care about not being invited. Jill, Betty and Debra have a long working relationship with Bob and it makes sense that they arrange a meet up once Betty is back off Mat Leave.

I see where you are coming from op. Maybe it wasn't Jill's decision to keep the lunch hidden?

Your next post has irritated me on your behalf even more!

But you're right, at the very least you should have been offered the opportunity to take your lunch before they went.

Also I don't buy into anyone not having the autonomy to tell you. That's just bollocks.

It's all irritatingly playground isn't it?

Its the first time in the 13 months ive been there that Ive felt like it.

It happens when the group dynamic changes. Will your new role be better do you think?

Bring it up when you're all together on a break.
"How was lunch with Bob?" Awkward silence.
"You know, you could've just said what you were doing and asked me to cover. Wouldn't have worried me in the slightest. I wouldn't have wanted to go; I hardly know him!"

When I move into my new role I will still work in the same department but a different office on another floor. So they can "luncheon out" whenever they like without having to sneak around.

I was in that situation a few weeks ago - someone came back to our office for a visit and three people sidled off with her then made a faux-breezy entrance back.

I was hurt tbh but I just let it go.

What I hate about this sort of shit is that they assume you won't notice that's the insulting part like a direct slap to your intelligence

Also the amount of clandestine scheming that will have gone on beforehand like you're going for lunch, you aren't Guy Fucking Fawkes, bore off.

Yeah like im too stupid to figure it out.