To be scared by this?

[Slightlyconfuddled]

Nc as v outing.

I've been asked by my Dad if I would accept Power of Attorney for him. Both health and finances.

I totally accept why he's asked me, Mum died and my brother was Executor and gave away or sold her personal items very quickly, just because he could. Mum and I had been low contact for years. We reconciled a few weeks prior to her death, and I was with her 24/7 in the final fortnight, whereas my brother was partying on the other side of the world and refused to cut short his holiday to deal with her affairs after she died. (She and Dad had been divorced ~20 yrs).

No problem with him being Executor, just the way he dealt with it. No estate, lots of debts, yet I got slammed by him for notifying bank etc of her death (she got disability payments) as he was out of country for almost a month after.

He basically gave away most of her personal items within 24hrs of arriving home, citing "I am Executor, I can".

It left a very bad taste, and he was very spiteful in front of Dad, something he had always been careful to avoid previously (to not be badly thought of).

Fast forward to now and Dad is putting his affairs in order as he is retiring. He said, when all this happened, that he was disgusted with my brother and don't want the same to happen when he died.

He's asked me if I will accept Power of Attorney on both health and money matters. AFAIK it will be me alone.

I'm ok with that. I certainly wouldn't be spiteful (I had no input on funeral for Mum and so forth) and Dad knows this.

My aibu is...Dad has grafted hard and been lucky enough to be in the right place and got some cracking property deals. He's savvy with cash. With luck he should be with us for many years, he's certainly in rude health.

I've had many years of menial jobs. No backup savings, pension etc. I truly have little clue for tax planning etc.

I'm scared at the responsibility he's giving me. Aibu?

Do I trust that if the worst happens he has his wishes in writing? Do I need legal advice? This has been a bolt from the blue and I really don't know how to take it in or discuss it with him further tbh without sounding grabby ie what do you want to happen to your cash and assets?.

Thanks for all the replies. Yes he is doing it to forward plan, and is 're doing his will also as his current one is invalid due to a change in his circumstances. He didn't mention who will be Executor but the conversation so far has been brief.

I hope I am never in a position to have to use either the financial or health POA but I guess it's reassuring to know it will be in place.

I will have a Google and do some research, it's just come a little out of the blue and overwhelmed me that's all.

Definitely accept, and treat it as a reassuring thing. Be open with your dad and make a careful note of his answers to questions about his wishes. My dad developed dementia. He consistently refused to allow a Power of Attorney or write a will when in good health. As the dementia got worse my sibling and I had to get a Court of Protection order (what you have to get when you have no Lasting PoA and the person has lost mental capacity) and it cost us nearly £12,000 of our own money in solicitor's fees - which we couldn't claim back until after he died! It ate all my savings and was very sad and stressful. So please just say yes and don't be scared, just keep good notes.

I had POA for both my parents and shared executorship with the family solicitor. I only remember signing one document so I don't know if it differs with legal systems as I never knew of two kinds. My mother's was set up after she became disabled by strokes but I don't remember any long term problems (or the lawyer dealt with them) as we lived/live in Scotland which has a different legal system. I never needed to use it for my father as he was compos mentis to the end. As far as the executorship, the lawyer dealt with most of it, running decisions past me, so that joint executorship might be easier for you if you doubt your ability to do it and there is the money in the estate to pay the fees. A lawyer is also more difficult for your brother to bully.