Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Differences between dating French men and British men

48 replies

NameChangeTimeNow · 24/03/2018 00:28

This is such a random AIBU, but would be interested to hear your thoughts on this.

If you’ve ever dated a French man before, what would you say are the main differences between dating a French man and British men in your experience?

OP posts:
MissionItsPossible · 24/03/2018 09:32

British men French kiss and French men British kiss.

JaneJeffer · 24/03/2018 21:03

But he's from Bradford so a large northern man grunting "uh bonjour Madame ou est la gare " didn't really do it for me.
PMSL Grin

mammmamia · 25/03/2018 00:00

J'arrive Grin

Parispapillon · 25/03/2018 08:39

Lol why do you ask?

DH is a wonderful cook, absolutely doesn't smell of anything other than soap and aftershave and is kind to me.

Yes the language is lovely. When we started dating he immediately called me his girlfriend. English guy had been reluctant to label things.

He thinks drivers here are more courteous.
He appreciates the nhs but doesn't feel it's better or worse than France really. The systems are similarish and both have their issues.
He loves British beer like craft ale but also loves wine.
He is big into keeping active.
He doesn't follow football. (Yessssssss!!!)
He is similar to British guys in many respects - French people generally are - most perceived differences are just down to individual differences between people.
In my experience French guys are quite traditional in early dating and will woo a lady and aren't just looking for a one night stand. They will want to take care of you. Obviously many millions of British men are just like this too but you asked about French men so there you go.

But again, why? :-)

swingofthings · 25/03/2018 08:54

The main difference I have found overall is that French men tend to be much better at talking about their feelings than British men. There are less bothered to be seen as manly and less likely to believe in gender divide. Of course, that's a large generalisation as there are many British men who are great at expressing their feeling and French men who are as macho as it gets, but from having dated both, I have definitely found that difference.

Elementtree · 25/03/2018 09:04

How can anyone have dated so many French and English men that they could generalise?

Ok, so my ridiculous anecdata is that when you tell a French guy that you want to call it a day because he's a little overinvested, the fucked stalks you for ages afterwards and sends emotionally manipulative emails about how desperately sad he is. And you are like, ffs, it was three weeks.

ThisIsTheFirstStep · 25/03/2018 09:10

Anyone who thinks there aren't cultural differences is kidding themselves.

I'm married to a Korean guy and it's different in many ways to dating British guys. Way more attentive, way more invested in us as a couple, way more 'cutesiness' like calling me 'my sweetheart' or something in his phone contacts. That is a general thing among Korean guys, it's not just my husband. He thinks it's weird that I just put his name in my phone without putting 'my sweet husband' or some crap.

So of course there's differences between French and British guys too.

penguinsandpanda · 25/03/2018 11:43

There are big differences in things like cancer survival rates between UK and France. Unfortunately for DH that meant one of his UK friends was dead in 6 months mid 40s, we rank 24/27 in the EU for treatment of that type of cancer. His French friend just went to doctor with a virus mentioned he had had 4 virus in 6 months doctor sent him for testing, got cancer stage 2, treated in 3 months and fine. Would like to think a UK doctor would have picked that up too but its very hit and miss. I'm going through tests for cancer at the moment and its taken 6 months to get some tests as they think its unlikely but needs to be tested.

ghostyslovesheets · 25/03/2018 11:48

I guess French men all eat snails and frogs legs and drink vats of wine whilst smoking Gitanes

British men eat roast beef and fish and chips, drink bitter and smoke roll ups whilst walking 't whippet

or some such bollocks

seriously OP the only difference is geography

QueenArseClangers · 25/03/2018 11:55

There was a programme on R4 a while ago about animal noises and onomatopoeic words in different languages.

QueenArseClangers · 25/03/2018 11:56

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b08dmr0d

Branleuse · 25/03/2018 12:01

Ive only been with one french guy who ive been with for years and years, but having discussed it with my friend who is also dating a french guy, we have found the main cultural difference, is french guys seem to be more open and OK with affection etc, and dont seem to want to pretend that they are not in love with their girlfriends or into women, like a lot of british guys do.

That is my opinion based on small sample

Bananalanacake · 25/03/2018 12:01

Can someone start a thread about dating German men. Mine is German. He doesn't know how to white lie. If he doesn't like my dinner he will say so.

hairycoo · 25/03/2018 12:02

havent dated any french men so cant really but in general i think it would be shortsighted to say there would be no differences, including cultural differences. its akin to saying that dating a (generalised) british man would be no different to dating a (generalised) middle eastern man because err they are all men.

Branleuse · 25/03/2018 12:21

I think there are more cultural differences between the french and the english than I expected there to be tbh.
Doesnt mean there arent exceptions, and doesnt mean one is automatically better than the other

ThisIsTheFirstStep · 25/03/2018 12:40

ghosty you seriously think your nationality has zero impact on your behaviour/personality?

Of course it does. Not that every stereotype is true, but of course it influences you.

eg when we were dating, my Korean husband was shocked to his core that I, a LADY, had condoms in my flat. How many British guys would even comment on it? But most Korean guys wouldn't expect it in the slightest.

Also, his family expect me to do everything around the house and are amused by the fact that he packs his own lunch.

And 100 other things that are different about our cultures.

JammyGem · 25/03/2018 12:46

DH is French and there are a few differences I've noticed, although not sure if these are because he's French or they are just family traits.

He has a very loose concept of time - usually half hour late to everything....
He transliterates French phrases a lot, some of which make no sense at all.
I know it's a stereotype, but he does indeed cook with a fuck-ton of garlic in every meal.
On the topic of food, all English food is "savage" and "barbarian", except when he's hungover and wants a fry up (but don't you dare tell anyone he ate baked beans!)
And yes, he loves frogs legs and snails and doesn't understand why we think they're disgusting...
He's a lot more open about sex than English men I've dated
He's very passionate about things, which people often misunderstand as anger.
He's very anti-establishment and his solution to a lot of political issues is to get rid of the politicians - Vive la révolution!
He goes back to France for any medical stuff, as he thinks it's much better than the NHS and trusts his GP back in France.
Although not romantic in the traditional sense (flowers, chocolate etc), he's a lot more romantic and chivalrous than any other man I've dated - from talking to partners of his friends, it seems this is pretty normal for French guys.

Of course, some of these will just be him, rather than because he's French....

Gide · 25/03/2018 13:05

IME, French men don’t game play and are far more direct when it comes to dating. A common opening line was ‘T’as de beaux yeux, tu sais’. There’s no fucking about getting their mates to find out how you feel about them (maybe it was the age I was at, I haven’t been asked out since I started seeing my now dh over 20 years ago) So maybe just the directness? I found it very refreshing but it made me very pissed off with guys in the U.K. when I came home.

How can anyone have dated so many French and English men that they could generalise?

Maybe because we’ve lived in both countries in very social situations? Outrageous. Grin

Elementtree · 25/03/2018 13:11

Maybe because we’ve lived in both countries in very social situations? Outrageous

Grin Fair enough.

I don't think I could confidently say any nationality was like x and x, when dating. But then I spread my my dating scene more, erm, thinly, across the nationalities.

ThisIsTheFirstStep · 25/03/2018 13:12

I don't think I could confidently say any nationality was like x and x, when dating

I guess if you have a lot of friends dating eg British guys and then you live in another country and know a lot of people dating, eg, French guys, then you tend to hear the common problems in each culture.

elQuintoConyo · 25/03/2018 13:21

Spanish cows say mu.

Just leaving that there.

Spanish guys are mostly tied to their mother's apron strings and ferociously traditional (read: stuck in the 50s).

penguinsandpanda · 25/03/2018 13:37

My French husband also puts French phrases into English, he's generally good at being on time.

Will eat everything including frogs legs, snails, loves roast dinner and fish and chips but has very low opinions of British cooking and complains about British mothers who think using a microwave is cooking. Have solved this by he does all the cooking but he is banned from using excessive amounts of garlic. He despairs about many of Cafe Rouge's interpretation of French meals but will eat there. Food is a much more serious matter in France and meals take hours. He will only drink French wine.

A lot of his friends seem to have open wife swapping marriages 😱 and we have had to leave parties early 😳. This is led by the women though. They always say they musn't shock the little English girl but they do.

Mine is very romantic, flowers, romantic sayings like the stars fell out of the sky and into my heart when I met you and that's the first time its happened, I didn't believe it could. Very passionate about certain things and can get angry though its occasional.

But hard to say as he's just one individual. Like in England it varies by generation too, with older generations much more traditional.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 25/03/2018 14:00

French guys are quite traditional in early dating and will woo a lady and aren't just looking for a one night stand. They will want to take care of you

I wonder how much of this is actually down to French womens' expectations though? I spend a lot of time there, and while there are no doubt French women who enjoy one night stands, I've noticed on the whole that there's a certain reserve in their attitude ... a froideur, even, along with a very obvious view of "I deserve respect, and won't settle for less" ...

New posts on this thread. Refresh page