To struggle to find the line between sympathy and frustration

[supermariossister]

Dps work hours are changing due to a restructuring. He isnt happy about it and it means a drop in income though not an unmanageable one, and a change in working longer hours 1 day of the week. He works full time hours over 3 days, i know its not going to be ideal, but im frustrated as he has agreed to the changes, isnt looking for anything else wont consider it but wants to be in a pissy mood snapping at the children for minor nonsense and being distant saying how shit it is all going to be. Ive tried to help with various ideas, solutions and hes not willing to do any of them because he doesnt like change.

YANBU. But maybe he just needs a couple of days to wallow in it before he can see a way forward? Is he changing to 3 days a week? That gives quite a lot of downtime.

He doesn't want solutions. He wants to vent, moan and hear sympathetic noises. That's OK for a while. I'd give him while to get it out of his system with a healthy dose of "Don't take your grump out on us!" and see where it goes.

When a bad thing has happened and you want a bit of poor me whinging over chocolate and wine it is bloody annoying if someone keeps trying to find solutions for you.

Taking it out on others is not OK though.

Hes known for a while it was coming and stuck his head in the sand, found out on monday is understandly annoyed, which i get and i have agreed and commiserated with how shit it is but hes driving me nuts snapping at all sorts.

He already did a three day week so losing a few hours over 2 days and gaining them back at day rate on the 3rd ( rather than night rate)

Then I think you need to say something along the lines of I know youre frustrated, I understand that. But I have listened to you express your frustrations for x amount of time during which you have taken no action to actually change things. I cannot and will not listen to you complaining anymore. I will not tolerate you taking your frustrations out on the dc. So either you need to change things or find someone else to listen because the children and I deserve more than this.