Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask when you went back to work after giving birth

39 replies

Forevertired19 · 23/03/2018 20:32

Long story short, I'm really struggling for money. Can't claim SMP and can't get mat allowance due to DP's income based jsa claim. Can't claim certain benefits so £640 a month isn't enough for me to live on. I'm kicking dp (well.. Ex dp, I don't know the abbreviation for dcs dad so it's just easier to say dp) out. He's only here again to help me whilst I'm in ill health and for ds birth next week. But even so I won't have enough to live on.

Apparently I can return to work two weeks after the birth and whilst I'm more likely to get a job than dcs dad even if we did stay together, something needs to happen soon.
So I'm still employed but I want to get a full time job to support my dcs. I feel right now I've failed my dd as I can't even afford a small birthday present for her. An I've considered and posted a thread about giving ds up for adoption but I can't do it. He's my boy. (If people recognise that by the way, thank you for your help. Unfortunately I won't get much help regardless. I went back to cab today)
So if I'm employed but getting nothing from them, could I quit and get a new job??
How did you cope with a newborn once you went back to work? They will be shared between myself, my mom and their dad.
Is two weeks really the earliest I can go back after the birth?
Thanks

OP posts:
MotherforkingShirtballs · 23/03/2018 20:47

Two weeks is the statutory minimum amount of maternity leave that you must take, it's for health reasons more than anything. If you work in a factory then the minimum is four weeks.

MotherforkingShirtballs · 23/03/2018 20:51

You could take the two weeks minimum maternity leave and then quit citing childcare issues or family problems. You could then apply to DWP for contributions based Jobseekers' Allowance. It would have to go to a decision maker as you've quit a job however if you explain it was for family reasons and that you need to find a job better suited to your circumstances then they will more than likely award it. You would get £70-something a week for 26wks. You would have to show that you're seeking work during this time but if you're going to be seeking work anyway then at least you'll be getting paid for it.

Original poster
Forevertired19 · 23/03/2018 20:54

Still not enough sadly for me to live on. An that's cutting out any luxuries that I never had anyway. That's supporting two children properly with basics.
Im not too bothered about what happens to me so I'd do factory work to support them. How come now it's 4 weeks for factory? Is warehouse the same?

OP posts:
MotherforkingShirtballs · 23/03/2018 20:56

Factory and warehouse are because they often involve manual labour, standing for long periods, lifting and carrying, etc.

MotherforkingShirtballs · 23/03/2018 20:59

I missed that he gets income based JSA (must read properly!), you wouldn't be able to claim contributions based JSA in that case.

Could he leave asap, move in with his parents or a friend, and then you could get maternity allowance and claim CTC as a single person? He can still be involved with the baby and help you but right now the biggest help he can give you is to naff off and live elsewhere.

Original poster
Forevertired19 · 23/03/2018 21:03

He's helping me out for the moment as I have no other support really and I'm desperate for the help but after the birth he will be but it's too much time for the benefits to be sorted out when I'm in debt and really need the money now. Its taken 9 weeks almost for his claim to be sorted out and that's two months of rent etc. My payslips have been screwed from work (underpaying me and overpaying me) so I'd be lucky for the last payslips they need to even get anything and I contacted them today. They can't change them. At the moment he's doing me a favour getting something in because I can't and he gets more than MA allowance. There's no way around it other than for me to return to work in a new full time job

OP posts:
MovingAgainOhWhy · 23/03/2018 21:05

I don't know if you can claim JSA with such a small baby? Would it not be an Income support claim anyway, if you left your job?
Also, you would get child benefit, housing benefit and tax credits. I know its not much to live on, I struggled along with that when I was a single parent with a new born but just about managed (I did this for about a year). Unless you live in an area with all Universal Credit? In that case I don't know how it works.

You would get help with childcare costs if you did work though.

It's hard to weigh it all up and I understand you must be struggling, so good luck!

FrankUnderwoodsWife · 23/03/2018 21:11

Go back as soon as you feel up to it. I gave birth the day I stopped work for my maternity leave and returned to work full time 3 months later.

I didn’t really have a choice in the matter, (my DH and I discussed it at length) so I didn’t feel any guilt about my decision. I was fortunate enough to take 2 years off when my DD was 4 so was around for her starting school.

I actually struggled with being a stay at home parent and my mental health suffered (stress of not earning an income, even though my DH was incredibly supportive).

My DD tells me how proud she is of me, and likes that I and am “the boss”. I am fortunate enough to only work 15 minutes from school, so can attend matches and other daytime school events. I book the time out in my diary, and everyone know this is non negotiable.

It also means my team now feel comfortable doing the same, and I encourage them to do it.

Don’t allow the judgement of others affect your decision - and everyone will!

Both men and women will give you their opinion if you do return to work. My sister actually asked me why I bothered having a child. Hmm

My DD and I are exceptionally close. our weekends are sacrosanct and I give her all of my attention when we’re together.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

Original poster
Forevertired19 · 23/03/2018 21:14

I wouldn't be able to claim due to not paying enough NI as I've been part time am I'm not in a universal credit area. So I'm stuffed. The housing situation is complicated. I've managed to properly sort it out and see it clearly. It's my dad's home. I'm a tenant under our own agreement but the benefits office need a legal tenancy agreement for me to claim anything so he needs to go to a solicitor which he won't do. I'm on the council list as of today to try and get out but he won't even write me homeless. He's offering me no help or support. I need to get our ASAP. I sound like such a train wreck but I think full time would be the best security I can offer my children. Proper rented accommodation etc.

OP posts:
MotherforkingShirtballs · 23/03/2018 21:15

You should speak to ACAS about your employer messing you around, if you haven't already.

Original poster
Forevertired19 · 23/03/2018 21:17

I yern to be a stay at home mom. There's nothing I'd love more than to spend every moment with my babies and spending those important formative moments with them. But I've made some bad decisions. (their financially unsupportive dad is one of them) and not going on the council in the first place. It's just not even feasible to look after two children on benefits with my outgoings and with the house. It's my only option. I've already sold every single thing I own that was of any value and dear to me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Forevertired19 · 23/03/2018 21:20

I have and my union. There's nothing they can do.
Head office were more helpful and my HR manager is being investigated. But I don't care what happens to her now. She's mucked up my life because DP's backdated payment for 9 weeks almost would have been a lot of money to tide me over for a bit. He gets £50 backdated for nearly 3 months. An because she has underpaid me, I've had to live on a credit card. I'm in trouble with this now. An because I had a backdated payment on my payslip and she paid my holiday in a lump sum, my wages have affected his claim and any other benefit claim I make. I can do nothing about it. Just need to go back to work. But they can fuck off as a company. I've been treated so unfairly which is why I bought up quitting and getting a different job with a full time contract.

OP posts:
ElephantsYeah · 23/03/2018 21:23

There's a link to a tenancy agreement here: www.gov.uk/government/publications/model-agreement-for-a-shorthold-assured-tenancy

Original poster
Forevertired19 · 23/03/2018 21:27

Thank you, cab told me it had to be through a solicitor though? Or was she just uniformed? Because that's ideal if she is!

OP posts:
InDubiousBattle · 23/03/2018 21:34

You don't have to go through a solicitor but he will have to sign it (with a witness I would think). Will he do that? What exactly will your dad do if you don't pay him rent? Have you spoken to Shelter?

isthistoonosy · 23/03/2018 21:38

I was self employed with DP working pt, so gave birth Saturday and went back to work on Monday, which was fine for us all, luckliy.

You need to consider that you may not be OK to go back even after 2 weeks, some births and babies just need longer to recover esp if you are breastfeeding.

QforCucumber · 23/03/2018 21:38

Do your payslips not reflect the actual amount you have been paid? If not that also means their declarations to HMRC will be incorrect and they can fix this in your payroll dept.

3luckystars · 23/03/2018 21:40

Sorry I know nothing of your situation and it sounds very stressful but where are you going to find childcare for a baby that young, and it’s probably going to cost more than you earn.

I think there must be another solution.

Original poster
Forevertired19 · 23/03/2018 21:41

They do. They are correct but because she had underpaid and overpaid me it's messed up benefits for me as I 'earn too much' from the backdated payment. I did phone head office and asked they be put right or for at least a letter declaring that I actually earn x amount for my contracted number of hours. They won't amend or write me a letter.

OP posts:
Original poster
Forevertired19 · 23/03/2018 21:41

My mom, their unemployed dad and myself when I'd be off.

OP posts:
Glassofredandapackofcrisps · 23/03/2018 21:42

What exactly is the debt you have? Because unless its secured on a property bugger it!!

QforCucumber · 23/03/2018 21:46

Couple of questions - is your partner/ex living with you at your property, is it his registered address? Sharing a bedroom with you? If not then you can claim separately if you can prove you're not living as a couple.

Does he drive/have a car? Maybe some local takeaway delivery service could help him being something in whileyou're both looking for work.

Lilymossflower · 23/03/2018 21:46

Sounds really stressful situation , especially as you were considering putting baby up for adoption. I am happy you have decided to keep him as he is your son and I think giving up a child for money reasons would be so heartbreaking xx

Would you go on benefits whilst in-between jobs /recovering from the child birth?

Always remember you are an great mum, to all your children, children appreichiate a parent who is present and strong over one who buys them loads of junk in the long run xx

Original poster
Forevertired19 · 23/03/2018 21:55

He won't drive, I told him to months ago when we were okay for money but he refused to. He's of no use to me really else it'd be ideal. He is registered at this address but he will be moving back with his family after ds is born. They live miles away and the driving aspect is a problem so I don't mind him wanting to be here for the birth. Not sharing a bed with me at all. And it wouldn't be enough :( I'm already behind on bills. Even the junk toys etc I'd love to buy them but I'm barely affording the basics and barely affording to eat myself right now.

OP posts:
QforCucumber · 23/03/2018 22:04

Have you looked on entitled to.co.uk? I'm sure you'd be eligible for tax credits based on your previous years income - especially with 2 children in the house

Swipe left for the next trending thread