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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think they can't withhold the pill

189 replies

Whatshallidonowpeople · 23/03/2018 15:44

Unless I go for a smear? Which is pretty much what they told me.

OP posts:
Huntinginthedark · 23/03/2018 21:14

@Tistheseason17
Then you don’t understand trauma

SpringNowPlease2018 · 23/03/2018 21:20

To the poster who had a go at me for saying google alternatives - I was on my way out and couldn't recall the names of the alternative test, but thanks for thinking the worst of me, much appreciated.

OP There is some interesting info here on the problems, risks etc of smear test and also information on the alternatives. I'm not clear on your situation so I won't go through this whole thread to find the test names but you might find the thread useful.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3146848-Women-failing-to-attend-smear-tests

I think the alternatives may be particularly pertinent for you due to your previous experience but I'm not sure

Anyway hope all goes well for you

Tistheseason17 · 23/03/2018 21:24

@Huntinginthedark
You know nothing about me and what trauma I have suffered and overcome. I do not need to justify my views to you. I choose not to be a victim.

Huntinginthedark · 23/03/2018 21:38

@Tistheseason17
Really! Are you that unsympathetic . You might have had horrific trauma but no other person on the earth should ever tell you how YOU should deal with it, or how YOU should just get over it.
Wow, just wow

hotsouple · 23/03/2018 21:41

YANBU, My doctor does this to me with my mental health medications and its awful. I get that I need to make an appointment to discuss medications sometimes, but I've been taking them for 7 yrs, there is a long wait for an appointment where I live, and I wasn't given enough supply to last until my appointment. Dangerous. I feel a lot more sympathy for the Schizo's on Law and Order Episodes who go off their meds than I did when I was younger, sometimes they make it fucking hard to get them for arbitrary seeming reasons.
To top it off, when I got to my doctors, she said I could have just emailed her. WTF.

PleaseDontGoadTheToad · 23/03/2018 21:42

I choose not to be a victim.

That's nice dear.

Unfortunately I am always going to have autism and as a result smear tests are naturally going to be more painful and traumatic for me than most.

Nowt to do with being a victim. It just simply is.

Tistheseason17 · 23/03/2018 21:47

Wow! My comments are not aimed at any other posters. They are my views on the importance of a smear test. It's a forum.
I've not slagged anyone off.
Very patronising, @PleaseDontGoadTheToad. But then maybe your username us a clue...
Get back to the AIBU question...

PaulDacreRimsGeese · 23/03/2018 21:55

They gave her many more years than she would have had. She had her first issues at 16, without those checks she wouldnt have made it to her 20th birthday.

How do you know she wouldn't have made 20?

Huntinginthedark · 23/03/2018 22:08

Saying I chose not to be a victim is highly offensive
End of

gingergenius · 23/03/2018 22:08

@DixieFlatline. I said that. I had stage 4 Dyskaryosis and had I not gone for a smear, a subsequent biopsy and coloposcopy I would undoubtedly not be here now. But obviously you're privy to my medical history. Go you!!!

DixieFlatline · 23/03/2018 22:13

I had stage 4 Dyskaryosis and had I not gone for a smear, a subsequent biopsy and coloposcopy I would undoubtedly not be here now. But obviously you're privy to my medical history. Go you!!!

You’re proving my point.

gingergenius · 23/03/2018 22:16

@DixieFlatline please don't be rude and minimise others' experiences.

DixieFlatline · 23/03/2018 22:17

please don't be rude and minimise others' experiences.

I’m doing neither. I assume you’ve realised I’m correct since you’ve jumped to that sort of accusation instead of addressing the point.

DairyisClosed · 23/03/2018 22:20

This story has already been picked up by a few online silly news type sites. Apparently one of them go in touch with the NHS and was told that this was not OK.

gingergenius · 23/03/2018 22:25

@DixieFlatline assume you’ve realised I’m correct since you’ve jumped to that sort of accusation instead of addressing the point.

Ffs what's your problem? No you're not correct. What point was I supposed to address?

You highlighted my comment to say people pile on here with incorrect information. According to my healthcare providers, having a smear saved my life because those cell changes, had they gone unchecked would have gone on to prove fatal over time.

Not sure why you're being goady but it wasn't a pleasant experience and your tone is really nasty

PleaseDontGoadTheToad · 23/03/2018 22:26

My comments are not aimed at any other posters.

Yet this is what you said to the OP:

FFS, just go and get the smear done, OP.

That sounds very personal to me.

Tistheseason17 · 23/03/2018 22:31

Lots of projecting going on here. I'm out.

PleaseDontGoadTheToad · 23/03/2018 22:39

Okay.

nursy1 · 23/03/2018 22:50

Blimey. Gone out for a while and it’s all kicked off!

I often look after women who have trouble having a smear. They usually say they have had bothervin the past which is really sad.
As I said before, if this applys to you, explain that you have trouble and ask for a longer appointment. I have at times given women speculum to take home so they can practise beforehand.

Remember you can withdraw your consent at any time during the procedure. Wear a skirt or a dress ( it’s just less hassle). Do some deep breathing during the procedure so you can really relax your muscles. It makes it much easier and quicker if you are relaxed as possible. Wiggling your toes also helps - harder to tense up some how.

It’s important to come because it really is one of the best tests. It’s got a long predictive value seeing cells that are abnormal years before they would ever become a problem. When we started proper nationwide testing the cervical cancer rates dropped off a cliff.

There is a very slightly increased risk of cervical cancer on the combined pill but it’s insignificant compared to HPV infection or smoking.

Break through bleeding is really not a strong indicator of cancer, (neither incidently is a mildly abnormal smear) it’s far more likely to be a polyp, a hormonal imbalance or even a chlamydia infection.

PleaseDontGoadTheToad · 23/03/2018 23:12

I have at times given women speculum to take home so they can practise beforehand.

I appreciate what you do but the thought of this has just made me think "ouch!".

PleaseDontGoadTheToad · 23/03/2018 23:15

Saying I chose not to be a victim is highly offensive

Agreed. Pretty sure I didn't 'choose' to be a victim when I was pinned down to a bed and raped. I think he was the one who made me into a victim that day.

Sevendown · 23/03/2018 23:39

For some women having a smear don’t to them is like getting raped.

Would posters tell other posters to go get raped, even if it reduced their risk of dying?

italiancortado · 23/03/2018 23:42

For some women having a smear don’t to them is like getting raped.

No. It's really not.

It may be a lot of things, uncomfortable, embarrassing, triggering but it's nothing like rape. Nothing.

PleaseDontGoadTheToad · 23/03/2018 23:48

I have only had one smear test and it brought back flashbacks to being raped.

I know I'm going to get a reminder letter soon as I'm nearly due for my next one and I'm dreading it tbh Sad

nursy1 · 23/03/2018 23:52

sevendown
Smear takers are aware that some women have feelings like this around having a smear. I have helped women who have been abused or raped to have the procedure.
Most nurses who do smears come across this issue at least once in their careers.
Just tell your Nurse, if needs be she will get some one more experienced to help. We are on your side. 💐

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