to ask this of DH?

[Mum2410]

So I’ve never really had a good relationship with my in laws, too much has been said and done that I simply can’t forgive and forget, in laws sis in law visit probably handful times in a year even though live 2 miles from us, husband is very close and speaks daily to his family visits them nearly everyday which I have no problem with, what seems to annoy me is that he would send random pictures videos updates of our children to them when they simply do not bother to be in their lives, it’s the little things like when my daughter does something new he would send a video out of the blue without them even asking if our children are well etc etc they just don’t care, it’s now everything that happens in our home they will know about through my husband it annoys me so much that they never message ask me how the kids are or even come to see them yet my husband feels the need to share our life with them, like now am expecting a baby he would tell them the name we chosen and the sex of the baby, or when we buy something new etc should I let it go and ignore it or do something about it? It’s like they know everything we are up to even though they not involved in our lives

I'd leave him to it tbh. It's his family and he seems to want to keep whatever relationship he has with them going

it’s natural for a parent to talk about dc isn’t it? His just being a proud dad surely. I’d leave him to it tbh

perhaps your husband is still trying to get them to be part of his children's lives, he is obviously proud of his children. If he visits them everyday they are bound to know details of your life otherwise he won't have anything to talk about. Have you talked about how you feel to your husband?

It's not for them, it's for him. Poor bugger.

I can't see any reason why he shouldn't share pictures and videos of his kids with his family. I appreciate that it's hard for you if his family don't seem interested but he obviously has a relationship with them and wants to maintain it. And while it annoys you it isn't actually harmful. I think if you tried to stop him from doing this it would cause a lot of friction.

Stay out of it imo, it's his family and they're also his children, if he wants to send his family videos of his children then so what?

I can see why their lack of interest in hurtful, but I think if you try to get DH to stop sharing with them, you may make him resent you.

Just ignore it and let him come to terms with their behaviour himself.

Except if he is sharing things that you have agreed to not tell anyone (baby sex etc), then that would be unfair to you.

I get how you feel OP, it's hurtful that they're not interested and it must feel like DH is almost rewarding their disinterest. I do think you have to really think about this from his POV though, it must be even more hurtful for him that they show no interest in his family and if this is what he needs to do to make that bearable I'm not sure I could begrudge him that.

This is one of those situations I would be trying really hard to step back from in my head, it doesn't actually cause you or DC any harm that he tells the inlaws about your lives so could you just sort of make a conscious decision that you won't let it bother you anymore and let him get on with it?

I honestly do understand the emotions behind this for you OP but I do kind of think it's his family so it should be his decision how he deals with it.

How do they respond when he sends videos? Could it be that they prefer to send email/private messages and DH hasn't mentioned these to you? Trying to gauge the real level of 'shows no interest'