To feel like I am the only person who feels really lonely

[onlyoranges]

The last few years for our family have been difficult I was diagnosed with a potentially life limiting disease, although I am currently in remission, lost my career which I loved as a result and had over the last 3 years 3 deaths of my closest family leaving me with no family and the worst part my dd attempted suicide. I don’t want to moan. I know a lot of people have worst things happen but its left me feeling so alone. I keep people at a distance now as firstly I don’t want to talk about everything (I do really but don’t want to bore people). Before this I was an outgoing funny (so people told me) person who loved to have a good time. Today after the school run I went back to bed as that was where I felt safest. I had months and months of counselling but it didn’t do anything for me. I just feel so alone and lonely and like my heart is breaking. I don’t want to feel like my life is over I have responsibilities but this loneliness I feel is all consuming. Are other people lonely and just not revealing that they are. How can I get myself out of this black hole. I can’t spend my life hiding in bed. Other people come back from bad stuff. Why can’t I?

OP that’s terrible - sounds like you’ve had an utterly shit time. As hard as it is the only way out is to start reconnecting with people and build up your support network again. A good as any place to start might be to contact whatever national/ local charity that supports people with your condition - nearly all of them have peer support groups where you can connect with people and families who’ve had similar experiences and support each other.

OP I'm so sorry you are going through this. I just wanted to say on the counsellor thing - just because one counsellor wasn't helpful for you doesn't mean that you won't find one who is. I think people don't talk about the fact that finding a good counsellor who works for YOU is a bit like dating - don't be afraid to go back to your GP (if this is who referred you) and ask for another referral.

Really hope you feel better soon xx

I've got no experience but you need to try the support/counselling again. You need help and as others have said different people work for different people. X

Loneliness is really hard to admit to. You are not the only one.

You have been through some really difficult times and are still keeping going, that's really impressive.

Do you have old friends or colleagues who you could reach out to and say fancy a catch up? Just for coffee to get you out of the house.

Oh dear, what a terrible amount of losses and grief OP, so sorry.
I know you said you've had lots of counselling. Did that include some sort of group therapy too? I'm thinking, talking/helping others may in turn help you. Best wishes.

OP, I’m so sorry to hear about how you’re feeling and what you’ve been through I promise you’ll get through this.

I definitely agree that you should look into counselling again. Try out a few different counsellors with different approaches (do have a look at trying out NHS counselling and also private counselling, if that’s a option).

Also perhaps write out a list of things that you would normally enjoy doing, and see if you would like to continue doing them. And try adding new things that you’ve never done before but would like to have a go doing :) maybe have a look at finding out if there are clubs or groups in your local area that offer these activities, and see if you’d like to go along to them.

You’ve been really proactive by posting on here as well. We’re all here for you

Thanks for the replies. I really appreciate it. Our area only offers two types of counselling and I have had them both. I paid for some psychotherapy but it was so expensive we couldn’t as a family afford it. I feel like its down to me really. I worry with people who I know that they will get ‘compassion fatigue’ if I bother them with how I am feeling as I am aware I have had quite a run of bad luck!

Thanks for all the positive comments. I feel very weak feeling like I am going under.

I am sorry you have had such a tough time Op. Please don't be hard on yourself….it is normal to feel this way after life has dealt a series of blows like this.

Please reach out for help, it sounds as though you may be depressed and there is support and treatment available for this (meds as well as alternative counselling) so do see your GP again and ask for help to get through the most difficult time.

I am sure things will get better for you but for now please lean on others and get the support that is available.

So sorry for all of your losses and stressful problems.

You sound depressed, quite significantly so. Please see your GP and let them assess you. I would also second finding a support group perhaps your illness as suggested above. There are many such groups on fb if you search.

Counselling can be helpful but if you just need to vent and be miserable post here or join a group (I did just this and it’s wonderful).

In the short term please look after yourself, allow your sadness and know that things truly improve and you can be happy again.

Have you tried Cruse Bereavement.

www.cruse.org.uk/