Comment about ex’s underwear AIBU

[Twirlyvvf]

I’ve been seeing a man for a few weeks. We were having a bit of a flirty conversation via messenger today about lingerie, and I mentioned a particular brand I really like. He replied “I’ve bought loads of stuff from there” and I clarified whether he meant for he bought it for his ex, and he said yes. AIBU to be a bit pissed off at him telling me this? Obviously I know he’s seen a woman other than me in underwear before, but was it really necessary for him to explicitly tell me he’s bought it for someone else, and from my favourite brand (a very particular style) too? I feel like it’s taken the shine off me wearing it in front of him now or am I being a bit ridiculous? I’ll accept it if so!

Why has he been tactless? He owes the OP precisely nothing at this point. They've been dating a few weeks. There seems to be a disproportionate feeling of entitlement on OP's behalf but she's seen that she's been unreasonable so hopefully she'll put this 'upset' behind her now.

How has he been tactless, rather.

I think the way you feel is fine, it's valid and I can understand. That said, draw a line under it. I have been a victim of retroactive jealousy and it destroyed me. I am now over it after much much work but do not give it anymore thought.

My now dh took me to the same B&B he had taken his ex, and told me he had booked dh he same room as the view was the best!
Didn't give a flying fuck about the view but was hurt she has been in there!!
I did eventually have to tell him references to details of past relationship was unnecessary and hurtful. Obviously he had a past but I didn't need details!! So tell him is my advice - ASAP.

lying
I don't know if the op has repeated verbatim what man has said but there is no need for him to say 'I've bought loads of stuff from there' which warrants further questioning on the ops part. When a simple ' yes I've heard of that brand' . would have closed the conversation down and allowed him to tactfully move on.

You are correct in that the man doesn't owe the op anything after a few weeks, but by the same token she is perfectly within her rights to feel a little (notice the little) bit put out by the comment. Hopefully it is just a minor gaff not a reflection of a tactless and insensitive personality.

Look on the bright side, you might get some new undies out of this!

I think you are over-reacting . Maybe he would have been better off saying, oh, I know of the brand, they make nice things - but maybe you would have carried on picking away at him even so, asking how he knew the brand and how much stuff he'd bought and for how many of his XPs. Be careful. Obsessive bleating about XPs and early demands for complete exclusivity etc are signs that will make any nice, reasonable new date - at least, one with any sense - run like fuck.

So you asked him a question and he said yes he'd bought stuff from there before. What's the problem?

Should he have lived in a cave up until the point he met you?! What did you think would be the answer when you pushed him on it?

She asked because he bragged "I bought loads of stuff from there" therefore implying he bought it for an ex.. he brought it up not her! He was being cheeky. Don't like guys that do that, they say things like that to get reactions

OP YANBU!! The best way to have handled it would have been him saying something along the lines of " can't wait to see you in it" etc. I'm not sure why he thought telling you that this is the brand an ex wears would be adding something to the flirtation.........

Yabu. You asked him. Then you answered your own question. And then got upset at his honest reply?! Did you want him to lie?

Wouldn’t some tact and consideration be nice though? Is it really necessary to bring an ex into a flirty conversation about lingerie?