AIBU to think that this is one of the worst things you can do as a midwife?

[user1466264864]

I actually cannot believe what I have just read.

A midwife was involved with the pregnancy and helped to deliver the baby of the woman while she was having an affair with her partner...

I honestly can not get over it.

www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/midwife-held-newborn-baby-said-14447945

When I found out my partner was cheating it was the other woman who tried to seek me out ,she thought I should know and went out her way to find me and speak to mutual friends, work colleagues etc , nothing benevolent about it she was a nasty piece of work , this whole story makes me think of that

How unbelievably stupid to waste an entire career over a man!

Yes the article reads as if the midwife knew EXACTLY who she was treating and even actively sought her out. That's not only gross misconduct, massively unethical and cruel it's also criminal (stalking).

Such vindictive behaviour telling the mother just after a section.

She should be struck off - no business being near vulnerable patients.

But why would someone do that?! That's really fucking horrible. Poor woman.

that womans a sadist but i dont agree with th quote that she tore the family apart that was the dp who decided to cheat then miss the birth

I’ve just realised I posted on the wrong thread earlier

When I was a student nurse another student nurse was shagging a porter whose wife was a nurse. Said student nurse had to be admitted for kidney issues and the porters wife was a nurse on the renal ward and had to catheterise her!

Did the midwife know this was his partner? Possibly not if he purposely missed appointments etc. If he had a common name like Dan smith etc she probably didn’t even put 2 and 2 together until he showed up at the hospital.

Midwifes are human. She shouldn’t have told the woman, but should have raised it with her superior and stepped away from care of patient as soon as she was aware.

Look at it this way

Lovely midwife has a holiday romance.
She realises during a birthing that 'knows' the mothers partner.
She waits til afterwards and does the 'right' thing and tells her that her partner is a cheat.
She gets suspended.
Then gets splashed all around the media. no photos of the cheating partner anywhere.

Am I the only one who feels uncomfortable that her photo and name is being widely published in the media?

Whatever has happened, we do not know the full details, but she is already facing disciplinary proceedings from the hospital and NMC.

Publicising it like this is unnecessary, and potentially very dangerous. We don't know the state of her mental health, or what this might do to her. There have been cases of well publicised criticism of healthcare workers, which resulted in the individuals committing suicide.

The utter bastard
The MW shouldn't have revealed what she knew at that point - that was tactless in the extreme - but she doesn't deserve disciplinary action and media savaging

Are people reading the same article? The wives complaint against the trust was upheld. The woman involved didn’t declare a conflict of interest and actively sought her out.

She was totally int he wrong complaint upheld, she’s been fired and now it’s a wait to see if she’s struck off.

Read the whole article!

I couldn't think of a worse situation than what this woman went through and my partner did something along the affair lines too. I was pregnant with our second son and he decided to work away where he was messaging two of his exes which I learned about a week before my due date. And then ten days after having my son one of the exes messaged me and went into graphic detail about them sleeping together on my eldest sons 1st birthday (there is only 15 months between my sons, so I was heavily pregnant at the time of this happening). She purposely set out to message and destroy my family (and him to by betraying our family this way). He denied it and she didn't have proof with messages or anything, and while I believe it did happen I didn't want to end things without concrete proof as she has form for doing this and he just out and out denied it. I live with it forever in my mind and it tainted not only the first two weeks on my sons life but my eldests birthday as I always wonder how he could do that on that day. It's a vile feeling and I really feel for what this woman went through. It's awful. X

Disgraceful.

My friend's DH ran off with her McMillan Nurse! Not sure if the midwife story is worse than that or not, but I would have thought a McMillan nurse should really have been focusing on helping her cancer patient rather than helping herself to her husband....

I wish people would use AIBU for posts where there's any reasonable doubt.
Of course YANBU for thinking that this midwife is a grade A bellend. She is, so is the husband.

I didn't get the impression that the mw found out at the birth. If I read that correctly she actively sought her out during the pg and manipulated the sitiation so that she would be the one to provide care.
She also chose to tell this woman just after she'd given birth, thus tainting all memories of her child being born.
I think that is why she is being disciplined - there are no circumstances under which any of that is acceptable.
The h was ducking appts because he knew the mw was there. She has totally ruined that time for a woman who was at her most vulnerable.
It's rare that I think the ow is a worse human being than the cheating man, but if this is what she did, then she absolutely is.

I read this earlier, I agree it was a nasty thing to do.

She should just have spoken to her supervisor and swapped with another midwife then kept her spiteful mouth shut.

Her partner is the one in the wrong for the affair 100% but I cannot get over her doing such a terrible thing to a brand new mother!

Huh. I thought you were going to say ignore what a labouring woman is telling you and refuse a vaginal exam based on how long it ‘usually’ takes and sending her home.

Cause that’s pretty shit.