To think I can go on a date with someone if they are dating other women?

[alligatortoss]

So I started talking to a guy (OLD) and it turns out he went to school with a friend/colleague of mine.

He’s been on a date with someone whilst I’ve been talking to him but I’m not bothered because he’s single and can do what he wants surely? Also he’s been open about the fact he’s been on a date.

Friend is now questioning me and making me feel like I would be a cheat if I went on a date with him too

First dates when OLD is about seeing if you like each other in RL. So I wouldn't consider it dating.

It depends on what you and him are wanting. He'll arrange a date with you but still be online looking, if you are OK with that, then there isn't a problem.

Just don't get into the 'pick me' dance.

My husband and I were initially stop dating...we did a ceremonial deletion of our profiles when we knew we’d be happy together.

This was 10 years ago! So it dies t make either of you the bad guy....as long as nobody is under any illusions and he’s at least being honest which is a good sign

No it's totally fine to date whoever you wish until exclusivity has been discussed and agreed upon. It's a date not a proposal.

When I met my OH I wasn't willing to put all of my eggs in one basket with someone I barely knew (despite being smitten) so I continued to go on dates and he had the freedom to as well. A few weeks in we realised we were mutually smitten and discussed and agreed to be exclusive while we explored what we had.

But it's incredibly daft to think going on one date with someone means you're somehow beholden to seeing only them!

Of course that's not cheating, dating isn't the same as being in a relationship.

Thats what dating is, if your meeting someone for the first time then you are not in a relationship.
You then have to mutually decide to be together and then not see other people

Definitely not cheating! I think you get a sense of where the line is. From when I was OLD, once I got past date 3 with anyone I felt it was wrong to date anyone else. I couldn't date other people once I'd had sex with someone, in particular. My early 20s would have been much quieter if I'd been monogamous from the first hello with each guy!

I think as long as both parties are upfront about it it's fine. It's only dodgy if anyone is pretending to be exclusive when they aren't.

Yes I like the honesty too. Isn't it NY famous for cut throat dating? They approach it very business like way, tons of dates all the time with different people until two stick

Until you are exclusive, online dating is just going on a date

Single people can go on dates with a different person every day of the week if they like

I've had a man on an OLD suggest I shouldn't go on the site anymore before I had met him. I replied if I'd met him and after several dates decided he was worth "dating" I'd most happily close my profile but until I had met him I wouldn't be doing anything of the sort or expect him to

Also had men after a few messages and exchanging numbers delete their profile and expect me to be delighted... scared the fuck out of me tbh. Why would you do that??

Definer not cheating, just sensible!

It's fine. As long as he (and you) haven't got anyone stashed away thinking you're their one and only then you can all do exactly as you please

As long as you are both not hiding anything, then I see no problem.