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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask you to try reflexology “baby sex” test if you are pregnant to reassure me it’s nonsense?

32 replies

Willmythreadgetabiscuit · 22/03/2018 06:53

I’ve only got a few days to go and have tried reflexology to help things along. I know it’s likely a placebo effect but I do find being more relaxed etc definitely helps me sleep and it’s very pleasant and thus worthwhile for me.

However, the reflexologist keeps referring to reflexes for the baby’s sex - a more swollen area on the arch of either left or right foot and left means girl, right boy.

In my case she keeps saying it’s pretty much exactly the same and she can’t wait to hear what I’ll have - but I’ve said we know it’s a girl as in addition to scans we’ve had CVS and NIPT and in both cases the chromosomes are definitely female!

Please reassure me there is nothing to this and it’s an old wives tale as rationally I know this but although I don’t mind at all whether we have a girl or boy, I do worry about the baby’s health. We have CVS due to concerns with the baby early on and although tests so far have been clear they can’t detect all genetic disorders and it’s enough to reactivate my worries about X chromosome linked disorders like Fragile X, Turners etc

For once I hope to be told in blunt mumsnet style this is all worry for nothing but would love it if people with experience of reflexology could verify it for peace of mind or pregnant ladies try for themselves...

Thanks!

OP posts:
Justanotherzombie · 22/03/2018 06:57

Ignore reflexologist stalking shit. My reflexologist told me 3 times 'I won't see you at your next appointment' as she was SURE I would go into labour. She was wrong every time.

ToffeeSauce · 22/03/2018 06:58

You will laugh one day that you ever took this seriously enough to worry about it.

Willmythreadgetabiscuit · 22/03/2018 09:20

Thanks - I hope so...

Annoyingly most threads I find are people saying “OMG it worked for me!!!” but as there is a 50% chance of it being predicted correctly I suspect that’s the only reason why

OP posts:
MonsteraDeliciosa · 22/03/2018 09:35

To clarify, you are worried because you don't have a swollen area to either foot arch, therefore there may be some chromosomal problem with your baby, i.e. that she will be female, but with something wrong?
I am so sorry to hear that you're worried like this. We do worry so much about our unborn (and born!) children. And pregnancy is not a time when we are at our most rational. I think it's very irresponsible of your therapist to make such a comment, given how it could be interpreted.
I personally don't believe in the efficacy of reflexology or that there's any sound scientific basis to its methods.

I hope all goes well with your birth, and that your baby will be fine and healthy.

Bobbiepin · 22/03/2018 09:37

She has no idea what she's talking about so is playing down the middle. If she says boy and its a girl she's proving she knows nothing .

KochabRising · 22/03/2018 09:39

Reflexology is bollocks, so just enjoy the relaxing placebo bit and smile and nod and ignore the rest.

You could divine the sex in the entrails of a pigeon and be right half the time ;)

The pool of people on those threads is already self selecting for lower critical thinking because they believe in reflexology and half of the time they’ll be right anyway ;)

EastMidsMummy · 22/03/2018 09:40

Reflexology is bollocks, as you say.

Being pampered is nice enough, but all the mystic woo-woo shit you can ignore.

Clawdy · 22/03/2018 09:45

When I had my kids years ago we all did the wedding ring on a string test! Bet no no one does that now!

IanRushesInadequateFlushes · 22/03/2018 09:47

Eh? It's a glorified foot massage, don't listen to her!

I know we're having a girl after the harmony and numerous scans, and I have no swollen areas anywhere on my feet.

Ankles at the end of a long day at work - ah there's another matter!

Willmythreadgetabiscuit · 22/03/2018 13:01

Thank you all wonderful posters, I am feeling suitably reassured!

@Monsteradeliciosa the truth is that I’m worried anyway as we are at high risk of genetic disorders (baby has normal karyotype but this cannot detect single gene mutations etc) - initially given about a 25% chance of a problem although I’m sure that’s less now after so many scans and tests.

So naturally am concerned already and looking out for things that indicate a problem - but I’m pleased to agree that a lack of swelling on my own foot arch is unlikely to be one of them 😂

Bit annoying though that after saying we know it really definitely is a girl the reflexologist is still “interested to know the outcome”!!!!!

The reflexology has down its job of soothing my feet though and helping me sleep so alls well that ends well I guess!

OP posts:
HeavyLoad · 22/03/2018 13:11

i'm 40 weeks +1 day. Neither of my arches look swolen. If anything the left looks a bit puffier and it's definately a boy. I saw his testicles at a growth scan 2 weeks ago.

Enjoy your foot massages and all the best with baby. If the OB isn't concerned then try not to worry!

MadRainbow · 22/03/2018 13:12

You never know she might be creating her own tally in her head about how often she's right. I don't believe in all the mystic bollocks anymore but when I did practise holistic therapies I would tally up to see how often I was right via luck or markers. Not often I'd actually tell people that though...especially wouldn't tell someone in a potentially vulnerable emotional state...

FloydOnThePull · 22/03/2018 13:16

I'm in a very tedious conference call so thought I'd have a good look and feel of my feet in the name of 'scientific research'. Neither of my feet look swollen and they both feel the same. I'm 28 weeks and having a girl (or so says 4 scans).

I did however do the Chinese gender prediction thing and that says were having a girl so I can confirm that is 100% accurate!

(before I get jumped on, I'm kidding)

Try not to worry OP just enjoy a nice foot massage Smile

TabbyMack · 22/03/2018 13:17

Come on...it’s a load of old shit and you know it.

The only value you’re getting is that you are finding the process relaxing, which is fine, but I really wish you could have found someone to do the same thing without validating this snake oil salesperson with your cash.

pigsDOfly · 22/03/2018 13:25

If what the reflexologist is saying is worrying you I would keep away from him/her.

I can remember when I was a child hearing people talk about women dangling their wedding rings from a piece of cotton and holding it over their bump; if it swung one way it was a girl, if the other it was a boy. What your reflexologist's offering as a way of predicting the sex of a baby sounds pretty much on a par with that.

Obviously the ring method had a 50% chance of being right, swellings on either foot has the same percentage chance. Both methods have the same value.

The reflexologist is giving you a foot massage. Enjoy it for what it is and ignore her silly nonsense.

goose1964 · 22/03/2018 13:26

All these 'tests ' on all 3 pregnancies said DD was having a girl. She has 3 boys. The test you had is the only one to have any real certainty, even scans can be misinterpreted if the baby is being awkward.

Please try to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 22/03/2018 13:30

Given how both of my feet swelled up in the later stages of pregnancy I suspect she would have determined that I was in line for mixed sex octuplets.
I find reflexology amazingly relaxing but I ignore the woo bit.

Willmythreadgetabiscuit · 22/03/2018 14:34

ChazsBrilliantAttitude love it!

Maybe my lack of swelling means a phantom pregnancy and the baby we’ve seen on scans is a figment of our imagination Grin

Thank you all for your sensible comments, I knew mumsnet was the right place to go to see sense!

OP posts:
Bobbiepin · 22/03/2018 18:40

Are you concerned about the possibility of Turner's etc for any other reason other than having a girl?

Willmythreadgetabiscuit · 22/03/2018 19:39

Yes, abnormal nuchal scan at 12 weeks

Was given 1 in 5 for Downs and another trisomy

OP posts:
Willmythreadgetabiscuit · 22/03/2018 19:40

Sorry - 1 in 10

OP posts:
Bobbiepin · 22/03/2018 21:04

Ok so there's an increased chance of a female genetic disorder because the baby is female. Is that because the baby is female (ie definitely an X related chromosomal abnormality) or could there be the possibility that this trisomy could be a Y related one if baby was male (e.g. XYY or Kleinfelter's) or is something completely unrelated to the baby's sex, and would occur with equal likelihood in both male and female babies?

(Basically what I'm asking is, does the baby being a girl matter? Would your fears be alleviated if she were a he?)

Hypermice · 22/03/2018 21:10

- 1 in 10

Flip that round - 90% chance of being totally fine 👍

muffyduffster · 22/03/2018 21:13

My reflexologist said boy and DD is asleep upstairs Grin

Willmythreadgetabiscuit · 22/03/2018 21:38

Quite right @hypermice

Although that is for Downs specifically - the research is more like 70% likelihood of a healthy baby and 30% chance of disorder or disability taking into account the other risks (if a slightly higher measurement then it would be more like 50:50). All been discussed extensively with the consultant so I think fears are understandable even if the “woo” reflexology bit definitely isn’t!

Not necessarily linked with being a girl at all - the irrational worry was just that baby had been pronounced less “girl like” than other girls albeit by a somewhat nonsensical source!

I am suitably comforted that this is no cause for concern though! Smile

OP posts:
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