AIBU to want to read Harry Potter with DD?

[WhereTheFuckIsWonderWoman]

DD is discovering Harry Potter, as am I. She is almost 8 and a very good reader. I had always said to her that I'd like to read them together for various reasons. She was reluctant at first and we read the first two separately. By the time we got to the third book I was aware that the subject matter would be getting darker so I insisted on reading it together. She agreed and we've loved it.

So now we've finished number three she's absolutely desperate and determined to read the fourth alone. She says she wasn't in the least bit alarmed or frightened by The Prisoner of Azkaban and that she prefers to read alone.

My reasons for reading together are:

1. I get to read it at the same time.
2. We really got into the third one together and loved all the suspense etc. Generally a really lovely reading experience that I'd like to repeat.
3. We need a story to read together as it's part of our bedtime routine and a non-negotiable.
4. There were times in the last book that I needed to clarify things that she didn't realise she didn't understand. It would be a shame for her to invest her time in reading a long book and end up not quite getting all of it.
5. I don't know what happens in the story and feel wary of her reading potentially dark subject matter without me going through it with her.

DD's reasons for reading alone:

1. She really wants to

I completely get why she wants to go it alone, but really really would so much rather we do it together.

So, AIBU to insist on it being a joint venture or should I back down and just let her get on with it?

I think you’re at risk of tainting her love of reading tbh OP. If she strongly wants to read it alone then I think you should respect that. There’s nothing scary in the HP books that isn’t dealt with wonderfully and you attaching conditions to her love of books could well cause her to stop loving them so much.

Let her read freely. Of course don’t give her Stephen King just yet but HP at 8 is safe as houses.

I’d let her read as it was around that age that I went off reading - only for Harry Potter to get me firmly back into it when I was about 12! She needs to lead it herself, the book club idea is brilliant though.

By the way to a pp, Harry never had the elder wand at shell cottage, it was still in Dumbledores tomb at that point - you need to reread! The true master was harry, and he had all three hallows as well.

Where will you stop though?

There is a chapter in Book 5 ("I must not tell lies") that really affected me as an adult reading it first time. It made me queezy. When re-read (as I often do) I usually skip this chapter because it's do dark and unpleasant.

If you try to force her to read it with you she’ll fall out of love with reading, but discussing it together will make that love stronger - especially if none of her friends are reading the HP books yet (I had the same problem as a child). Definitely do the kind of book club idea, that sounds amazing!

Tbh I think the films are much scarier than the books and my DS has watched them all no problem he's 8 but was 7 when he saw them. Your daughter sounds very mature and you know what she could cope with. I really up with them, DS has read the books and watched the films and we took him to the studio tour for his 8th birthday which he loved as did I!!

Ha, I was just about to say I read my first Stephen King when I was 9!

I say read it independently at the same time. If you are a fast reader there's nothing worse than listening to someone read the first paragraph in the time you could have finished the page.

Where will you stop though?
Good question. When she started reading them I'd already told her I thought we should pause for a year or so before moving onto the later books. However, reading what some people have said and knowing her as I do I'm windering how much I'll stick to that.

I really like the book club idea and think I'll run with that for the Goblet of Fire and then reevaluate. We've both got to feel comfortable and I think this is the best compromise.

I would have hated this as a child. I always read at my own pace and would have found having to keep up or hold back for mum or dad quite controlling.

I'd encourage her love of independent reading :)
Like another poster, both get a copy and read at the same pace but separately and discuss

My partner and I love listening to the audiobooks in the car together

I was going to suggest you and DD alternate reading chapters aloud, but Fenella's idea is much better! Then she is still in charge of her own reading but you are also involved. I love HP and reading them together is such a nice experience, I can completely see why you don't want to give it up, OP.

YABU. Let her read it at her own pace and don’t insist on a break in between books - what’s the point? I would have hated my mum being so controlling over what I could read. Any reading is great and should be encouraged! You can always read them with her the second time around

I had dd1 read the goblet of fire before I let her watch the film, for the very obvious reason of the death scene.

However, I have read them all, seen all the films and am confident in her reading choices. 2 years ago (aged 8) she asked to read a book at school which was at her comprehension level but had some more mature themes. Her teacher had me in to read the blurb before sending it home and I said we'd discuss anything which arose as a result. Dd1 herself got 2-3 chapters in and said she wasn't happy about reading the rest of it. She picked it again late last year and read it quite happily.

As your dd is almost 8, I would read the book myself first before making a decision about whether to let her read it or not. As an avid reader there would be nothing worse than starting a book and then being told I probably shouldn't read the rest of it.