Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have been upset have a blue badge?

120 replies

Calypso44 · 21/03/2018 19:37

Yes sorry another disabled parking space one. And have nc'd as spoke to a friend about it who I know sometimes uses MN.
I had a GP appt this morning, I parked in a disabled bay. I have a blue badge for my car due to disability and I also struggle to walk long distances due to health condition. As I was pulling in, the man who had just pulled into the next disabled bay before me was pointing aggressively at the 'BLUE BADGE HOLDERS ONLY' sign. I ignored it as I am a blue badge holder.
As he got out of his car he came and knocked on my window and said 'you're parked in a blue badge space' I said yes I know I have a blue badge and pointed to it. He didnt apologise, walked off tutting and saying something about 'youngsters defrauding the system'. I'm 26, so not exactly a 'youngster'.

OP posts:
ScienceIsTruth · 21/03/2018 23:20

I used to get this a lot as I don't 'look' particularly disabled, but it's lessened since I started using a walking stick to help me get about a bit easier.

Tbh, I'm embarrassed to need one at my age, and I can technically walk without it, but using it enables me to go a bit further before the pain is unbearable and gives me a bit of confidence/support against falling when my knee gives way.

Unfortunately, because it acts as a visible clue that I struggle with my mobility, people treat me differently, which I hate, but it's also why I get less abuse nowadays.

BlankTimes · 21/03/2018 23:25

@ThickSocksWoolyHat

Appeal, appeal and appeal some more. Get your Citizens Advice Bureau on your case and ask your local MP to help.

If she's lost her Blue Badge because PIP has been stopped or she has not had enough points awarded for automatic Blue Badge renewal, apply directly to your Local Council who issues the badge. they can assess her needs independently and award her a badge absolutely outside the PIP system.

www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/197719/can-i-get-a-blue-badge.pdf

kimanda · 21/03/2018 23:30

My friend went to the seaside in West Wales last summer with her two little kiddies. She has a blue badge as she has a chronic illness. Well, she got to the car park at 11am, and got the last disabled space. She took about 6 or 7 minutes to get sorted, as she has mobility problems and had to get the kids sorted...

And during that 6 or 7 minutes, FIVE different cars drove past - with the occupant(s) glaring at her. A couple of them asked her if she was leaving, and she said 'no' as she had only just got there, (and they looked pissed off.) One couple stayed there just gawping at her for a few minutes, in disgust, as she obviously wasn't genuine as no-one under middle-age can be disabled! Hmm

Then when she walked off with her 2 kiddies and the backpacks (to the beach,) she looked back and saw this one man walk RIGHT over to her car to check there was a blue badge in it. She could see him rolling his eyes, and huffing and tutting. FFS! Why?

Utterly horrid.

And she gets stuff like this happening at least once a month. Because she is less than 40, and look 7-8 years older than she is... it is assumed (by some) that she is not disabled. Hmm

And I hate to say it, but as a few others have said, the people who are rude are ALL 55 and over. No idea why.

I am also sorry @Calypso44 that you had to deal with this crap.

ThatItIs · 21/03/2018 23:52

This used to happen to my late sister in law. She looked young and healthy but had cystic fibrosis. Luckily she was feisty as hell and would give people a good telling off if they said anything. She used to say she owed it to all the other people who were too nervous to say anything. It used to make me laugh as she was usually really quiet and sweet. I miss her.

jmh740 · 21/03/2018 23:54

My oh has a blue badge but you wouldn't tell he's disabled to look at him, he's only had the badge a year and has been challenged about it once in just waiting for it to happen when I'm with him.

Thisimeagain · 21/03/2018 23:58

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

MorningsEleven · 22/03/2018 00:03

He's an arse. It's bloody hard to prove you need a blue badge and often holders have to hide them because they've a fair bit of street value.

IamPickleRick · 22/03/2018 00:04

I get this coming out of the disabled toilet. I have epilepsy, I need the emergency cord.

Doubletrouble99 · 22/03/2018 00:52

I was taking my mum shopping - she was the blue badge holder. When we returned to the car a man started shouting at us as my mum wasn't the driver! Too ill to drive any more. He had driven up and parked and let his wife out to go shopping whilst waiting in his car, he was the driver and the blue badge holder his wife was perfectly able but couldn't see the irony of his logic!

Skatingfastonthinice · 22/03/2018 01:10

I did that though. Took my mum to the shops, parked in a disabled space with the B.B., she managed as much as she could and then we went back to the car. I then spent 10 minutes zooming around to finish the shopping she needed and we left. Is that illegal? Confused

Chouetted · 22/03/2018 01:37

Only if the blue badge is yours, Skating. Though you did get out of the car as well in the end, so you're covered there.

StillinMyPJs · 22/03/2018 01:41

I get this frequently because I have three children who all have problems with mobility and qualify for a blue badge individually. It is almost always older people that approach me and ask me intrusive questions or tell me off. They clearly don't believe me when I'm loading two of my kids into a double push chair. They are 5 (twins) and 9. People just see an entitled mum who can't be bothered to park in a space further away.

It makes me so upset when people challenge me for parking in the disabled bay. Even when I do explain I can tell that some don't believe me and it makes my blood boil. As if our lives aren't difficult enough as it is. Do they really think that I enjoy pushing around my own body weight in pushchair and children? Being able to park in the disabled bay makes the difference between us getting out and not getting out at all. I wish that people would take the blue badge at face value and not make judgements.

I've thought about having a small card printed out explaining my kids' disability so I can hand it to grumpy, judgey people, but I don't think it would make them think any differently.

It usually takes me a few days to calm down after something like this. ThanksCake

1forAll74 · 22/03/2018 01:42

My son who who is 46 and disabled, ie wheelchair bound and paralysed from the chest down,has encountered problems with people before. He drives, and was once parked in a disabled bay at a diy store, He got some angry hassle from a guy about to park in the next ordinary parking bay, saying that he was taking too long to get out of the car and wheel away.

Bumblesnuff4Crimpysnitch · 22/03/2018 01:52

I recently lost my work (self employed, working for the insurance sector) because of rapid sight loss leaving me with very little functional vision. Lost my work, driving licence etc., but for 20+ years prior to this have managed to keep my self employment going, despite a nasty disabling neurological disease.

The amount of people I saw through work, and many trying to argue with me, stating I couldn't be disabled because of my profession and studying a work related masters. I don't argue with anyone, least of all these ignorant people.

What did get me inwardly seething though was the amount of people I saw who, when taking out insurance, stated they are physically fit, healthy and fine to drive (to enable them to keep their driving licence and obtain insurance cover illegally) but played massively to being diaabled getting full DLA (different rules to PIP and easier to claim fraudulently), blue badge etc. I do NOT mean people with genuine conditions, invisible disabilities etc., but then they questioned ME for having a blue badge because I was working.

OP, it is awful being challenged, really feel for you. If someone tells me I don't look disabled I reply with 'yeah, I know... You don't look stupid'

Faintlinesquints · 22/03/2018 01:56

I get this all the time, you learn to get a thick skin. I either ignore or give a sarcastic comment back.

The other week I asked a lady if her disability was ignorance Blush (this was in response to a barrage of abuse saying I was too young to have a blue badge - wasn't even mine it was my daughters who was in the back seat!!)

Bumblesnuff4Crimpysnitch · 22/03/2018 02:14

@Faintlinesquints excellent response..

Sleepyblueocean · 22/03/2018 05:51

We have been at the doctors waiting for a bb space and have had someone who arrived after us and is waiting the other side of it start reversing it ( giving the former occupier of the space very little space to get out). When we glared at them the driver waved his bb, obviously making the assumption that because everyone in our car was under 60 we didn't need the space.

FinallyHere · 22/03/2018 06:28

I'm sorry you have had to listen to someone being so hurtful, @Calypso44 , it really was all about him, and nothing to do with you.

Does it help to hear that my mother, a disabled badge holder since her early twenties, used to get something similar all.the.time But just once.... she had parked in a BB space, only for an elderly man to get out of his car and walk over to her, show her his (old style orange) disabled parking permit and ask her whether she was aware that she had parked in a disabled space. It was just shortly after the cut over date, from the old style orange badges to the new, blue badges.

She pointed to her blue badge on the dashboard and said that yes, she knew it was a disabled space and yes, she had the correct badge. One small triumph to balance a lifetime of people thinking they knew better.

Mymycherrypie · 22/03/2018 08:07

I think this thread does have to a bit more be balanced - my dm has a blue badge and she often cannot get in to the space by school because there is always a porche 911 parked in that has a little lady of about 21 in it, who wears sky scraper heels and can regularly be seen coming back carrying massive bags of shopping. She has a blue badge. Having watched her, I think it’s her Dads. Of course that arouses suspicion and of course abuses do happen. Not to say this is a case either but from just one look, but how can you tell. Some people choose to ask the person directly to see if they can prevent an abuse to make it easier for people with a genuine disability - and get judged for it on MN)

Sleepyblueocean · 22/03/2018 08:13

I don't think it is ever reasonable to ask someone about the blue badge in their car.
If you are convinced there is bb abuse going on then report it to the relevant authority.

Shedmicehugh1 · 22/03/2018 08:15

Get one of these signs to put next to your blue badge and point insulting people to this one Smile

Dancingmonkey87 · 22/03/2018 08:24

My ex used to get his a lot until he got out the car and started walking. At 21 being a young lad to look at in the drivers seat everything seemed ok. He actually had osteosarcoma in his teens and had a metal implant in his leg which affected his mobility considerably he walked with a limp. People are very fast to judge. Some people think you g people can’t possibly have a disability but I think being young people can be extremely self conscience about it. I know my ex was he didn’t need to be challenged about it.

MolliewithOllie · 22/03/2018 08:28

I do wish you would not tar all 'the elderly' as being ignorant re blue badges.
I would never ever accost anyone with a blue badge using a disabled space. Someone without a child who uses the parent and child space because they are too lazy to walk a bit further - fair game if I am feeling a bit frazzled because I (being older) suffer from angina and have just trekked across the car park.
Comments about 'the elderly' as an homogenous group being uncaring and nasty is very hurtful to those of us who do care. (and ageist )

Original poster
Calypso44 · 22/03/2018 08:34

cherry report it then if you think there's abuse going on. Not sure why the thread needs more 'balance', and why people shouldn't be judged for asking about someone's disabilities. Confused

OP posts:
MammaTJ · 22/03/2018 08:51

She has a blue badge. Having watched her, I think it’s her Dads.

My blue badge has my picture on it. Have a closer look at 'hers' Cherry.