This is outing so I have changed some details but the overall issue remains the same.
DS has started a new high school this year. He has particularly low self esteem for a variety of reasons and as a result can sometimes really dwell on stuff that other people would perhaps brush off. We are walking a really difficult balancing line between acknowledging his feelings and the fact that he does need also to develop an element of not taking everything so much to heart as unfortunately people will always say mean things.
The reasons if relevant are - he had a particularly tough time with bullying at primary school and as a result moved schools for Y6. He has no contact with his dad (court ordered due to violence) and he is overweight and very conscious about it - he is exercising more and trying to lose weight, but hes a comfort eater and so when hes down he eats more and its a bit of a vicious cycle.
Since joining this school, DS got onto the schools sport team - he was really proud of this and as a result has also joined a local team doing the same sport. They are a nice bunch of lads, the coaches are great, and he is really enjoying it (partly because he is lacking a male figure to give him the approval he craves from his dad i think)
However there is a child - A - who both goes to the same high school, is on the school team with DS and who also goes to the local sport club and this child is calling DS names like pussy, fatso, he says DS has a small dick, and is just generally horrible to DS. DS comes home in tears alot of the time because he says hes trying really hard to be nice to A and he doesnt understand what hes done to make him so mean to him.
I have spoken to the school and they are attempting to resolve it, but its very difficult for them to do when they never see / hear the comments and A is denying it.
I am debating speaking to the coaches at the local club because they are quite strict on anything like this, but DS is worried that if it all blows up hell be ostracised at the club and its the one thing that does really make him feel good about himself (hes struggling at school and is being assessed by the SENCO). A is related to one of the coaches which makes it a bit more tricky and I assume he will deny it also there. DS is debating giving up the sport as he just doesnt want to be around A.
It obviously doesnt happen at the club, which is the reason for the AIBU? So would you speak to the coach? Or any other advise is welcome!