'Season of life' rant

[yellowDahlia]

It's just this 'season of life' and 'this too shall pass' but I'm exhausted and need a moan.

I just feel right in the middle of it all at the moment - school, work, family responsibilities, keeping everyone clean, fed, watered...it's kicking my ass right now and there's no escape. Not even a holiday on the horizon...although that's just a different kind of stress isn't it?

DH currently on one of his busiest work weeks so I'm doing all the running around and we're both like zombies by the end of the day so bare minimum of communication.

DD1 moving up to secondary next year and already anxious (so am I!) plus she's a ball of hormones just now so tears and drama at the smallest and biggest of things.

Various friends and family with some health issues just now and v little I can do to help apart from moral support.

I feel like I'm squashing a FT job into PT hours. I dream of leaving to pursue my real passion in life in but don't have the time or money to retrain and need the stable income so can't just chuck it all in and take a gamble on self-employment.

The house needs redecorated - so many rooms now really starting to irritate me they're so shabby but who has the time?? We're lacking motivation and every time I think about the cost involved I feel like I'm choosing between that or a family holiday - this 'material vs memories' debate goes on in my head and I give up on making a decision about anything.

My brain is doing overtime trying to keep up and/or figure out how to resolve all of this stuff.

I know there are plenty of people who have it worse than I do and also plenty who wish they could go back to this time because they miss the hustle and bustle of family life - but I know I'm not alone in this right now. I don't want to wish away the DDs youth but also WHEN DO I GET TO DO STUFF?!

Rant over. Feel free to ignore or join in, I'm going to have a and get a grip.

I'll join in.

I'm knackered, last time I had time to myself to do anything I want to do was probably at least three weeks ago, between various injuries, illnesses, dentist/GP/hospital visits, work etc. All the financial stuff falls to me, and I do more of the housework, childcare etc partly because I work less hours and more regular hours. I've not had a decent nights sleep for, I don't even know how long, maybe 19 months and that was after surgery.

Plus we're skint. Or going to be skint from next month unless we can sell our sodding house, and we can only sell it if the bank will lend us enough to cover the negative equity.

And the cat needs to go to the vet.

Here you go mirime , sounds like you need one of these too.

Same here - 4 kids, 2 jobs ( amounting to full time) although working my notice on one job and 2 dogs that need a lot of exercising. Our house is a tip and desperately needs the garden sorting and every room decorating. Eldest ds going to Uni in sept and I'll really miss him he helps with dog walking etc a lot. I'm already panicking about finding another dog walker that I trust etc, Life is one long stress !!

That's a heck of a mental load, OP.
Can you book time off work and just have some downtime?
Declutter-that always helps my head-get rid of a bit here and there.
Don't worry about the house. When you're ready, just do it one room at a time.

YES - that's it, it's the mental load as much as the endless jobs and running around. Believe it or not I did have a week booked off work - it was supposed to be last week but I had to cancel it because of a) being behind with work because of snow days and b) someone mixed up their diary dates and we thought we were getting a short-notice VIP visit which it transpired is in May, not March .

Babyroobs hope you find a good dog walker - wish I could do it! That's another bugbear - I really, really wish we could have a family pet but can't add another burden to my already stretched time, brain or bank balance!

Try and change your perspective. Rather than moaning about how to fit it all in, relish the fact that you do as much as you do and congratulate yourself for doing it all. You are busy managing a family, it isn't easy but what a fabulous thing you are all doing.

It is true that this too shall pass, and you WILL look back on this time as busy, happy, but exhausting times.

As long as everyone has their health and are mostly happy then you are doing a bloody marvellous job of it all.

Decorating is just that - re decorating rooms that you already use. Take that off your list of things to do until you have the time and money to do so. Making fabulous and ordinary memories is by far more important.

Quality family time is the most important, all else (apart from, obviously, jobs) needs to take less priority.

You are incredibly lucky to be doing all this and you need to find that positive spin to put on it.

You never know what's round the corner so enjoy this bit as much as you can. I lost my eldest son to cancer aged 18, it ripped our family life apart. I, like many others, would give anything to go back to normal, stressful, busy, frantic, exhausting, boring, ordinary, wonderful family life before. I don't mean to say you can't and shouldn't feel exhausted by it all but a reminder that you are lucky may help you through the sometimes drudgery of it all.

Oh minmooch that's brought a tear to my eye. I'm so sorry you lost your son and of course you're right - family life is wonderful and messy and exhausting but needs to be valued and prioritised. You've certainly given me a sense of perspective on it all.

I must try to ignore the peeling wallpaper and horrible carpets...I will focus on spending proper time together. A good friend of mine did remind me recently that the kids won't remember what wallpaper was on the wall, but they will remember family holidays and good times spent together...