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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Dividing car costs

27 replies

dreamer1992 · 21/03/2018 02:36

Hi everyone,

So I'm going to a wedding next month and one of my close friends suggested she drive and pick up our friend, and me on the way. She lives the furthest, our friend is around 50 miles from her and I'm almost exactly the halfway point on the journey.

I was planning on driving but when she suggested that she drive, I thought it'll be fun and work out cheaper anyhow as we'll divide the cost between three.

I booked the hotel (£35 per person) and she said that instead of paying me for the hotel, she'll keep that and consider that my contribution for the car trip. Fair enough I thought, makes everything more simple.

Rough online calculations put the fuel cost of my leg of the journey at around £64. Car park will cost £28.

So the way I see it is, that £92 total should be divided into 3, so around £30.5, and the extra fiver (£35 hotel room) she can chuck towards the car.

Now she's messaged me (privately, instead of in the group chat) saying 'had a look at the car park and it'll be £28, please send £14 to my bank account'.

I was not expecting this at all. So now that £50 for the trip. So basically she wants me to chip in as if I was travelling the whole journey (62*2 fuel) +28 parking /3. I mean I'm literally the halfway point, surely it's unreasonable to expect me to pay for double the distance?

AIBU to tell her that our cost should be divided by 3 so £35 is more than enough from me and I won't be paying £14 on top of that. In comparison taking a train is only £42 return (and near hotel).

This is the first time she's every driven me anywhere, so I wasn't expecting this to be an issue.

I've driven her and my friends loads of times. I personally don't charge anyone for the first tank of petrol, I always pay that myself (it's how I was raised but I appreciate it's not the norm if people are already in the car).

Anything after that I just split between everyone in the car (as I would have picked everyone up by that point).

It's not about the £50 it's really about asking me to pay for a whole journey when I'm only doing half of it. For a return trip the differnce is 300 extra miles I'm being charge for.

I haven't messaged my friend back, thought I'd ask you guys first then give it a little while to reply (so my tone isn't argumentative)

OP posts:

MrsCrabbyTree · 21/03/2018 03:05

This is my suggestion, so you don't come across as nitpicking the amount. Message your friend saying you were happy to pay until you worked out the math. Itemise the expenses asking her to help you work where you are wrong as it seems to you that you are paying more than your fair share. Hopefully, she will take the (un)subtle but polite hint and adjust what everyone chips in.

If she insists that her first amount is correct, guess you are then stuffed.

araiwa · 21/03/2018 04:33

Are you factoring wear and tear in to your costings? Convenience of you not driving?

It all seems quite petty.

Whenever we have shared a ride, the driver always pays less for the direct costs of fuel and parking as they drove their car.

1Vandal · 21/03/2018 16:06

I would just get the train

GrannyGrissle · 21/03/2018 16:12

Makes me glad i am an antisocial miserable crippled hermit

19lottie82 · 21/03/2018 16:17

Bloody hell. Do you squeak when you walk?
Your friend is doing you a favour driving you, even if you are giving her petrol money. As someone else has pointed out have you taken into consideration the wear and tear on her car?

Unless you are struggling financially (in which case I would suggest you can’t afford to go) then you are coming across as a bit of a dick, sorry.

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 21/03/2018 16:17

I'd expect to pay a third of the total costs, so wouldn't expect to pay less due to living closer to the destination. So (accommodation+fuel+parking)/3

Why are you being addled for half the parking if there are three of you?

Shadow666 · 21/03/2018 16:18

Wear and tear? But they are doing the journey anyway. I think 1/3 each is more than fair especially as the OP lives half way. I say that as someone who does a lot of driving.

Personally I’d duck out. Make some kind of excuse and just drive yourself.

Shalva1970 · 21/03/2018 16:20

We’d all chuck 50quid in a kitty for hotel/fuel, buy the driver a bottle of wine as a thank you and use the rest for car munchies etc

chickenowner · 21/03/2018 16:21

I think you should be grateful that you're getting a lift. Be careful you don't moan too much or your friend may decide to just drive herself!

allertse · 21/03/2018 16:22

Just tell her what you've said here (but maybe in slightly less detail)

Hi X,

The fuel cost from mine to should be about £64, so that and the parking means its £92 between you, me and other friend? I've paid your hotel room so I think we're pretty much quits!

Personally if I was driving past my friends to get somewhere I'd offer a lift for nothing and if they paid for my parking or hotel room I'd be delighted - it's definitely not on for her to expect you to subsidise her longer journey!

19lottie82 · 21/03/2018 16:28

Wear and tear? But they are doing the journey anyway

On that basis you shouldn’t pay for parking, petrol, or sharing the hotel room?

MaxPepsi · 21/03/2018 16:28

I prefer to drive, rather than be driven, most of the time. I have a bigger car than my friends and I think I'm a better driver

I'd pay the fuel. Ask my friends to pay for the parking. Pay my own share of the hotel

Wear and tear for a one off journey is minimal and is a shit argument if she's never driven you before.

I'd tell her you've had second thoughts and drive yourself there.

sundowners · 21/03/2018 16:37

Shalva1970 wish Id driven you in my car! Never had a bottle of wine bought for me for chauffeuring people around!

MacaroniPenguin · 21/03/2018 16:38

So you're saying fuel is £128 between you, parking £28 between you, hotel £35 each.

If you drove yourself it would cost you £64 petrol plus £28 parking = £92 plus hotel.

As it is, it'll cost you £49 plus hotel.

I think that sounds OK. I wouldn't quibble over the extra petrol personally, it's a bit petty and if my maths is right you're still saving, plus you save hours of driving. It's a bit miserly of driving friend to split the petrol like that. Is she assuming you and the non driving friend will cover the parking between you as a thank you to her for driving? also a bit mean, but in your position I'd take a glass half full approach and enjoy saving £40+

MaxPepsi · 21/03/2018 16:57

How far away is this wedding?

Your fuel costs are for an approx 200 mile round trip

IllustriouslyIllogical · 21/03/2018 17:04

Are you factoring wear and tear in to your costings? Convenience of you not driving?

Oh do go away!!

I regularly lift share when we go kayaking, climbing etc & the calculation is always Fuel/Number of Occupants.

Whoever has change will chip in for car parks etc.

If we did it the Mumsnet way we'd either all end up going in our own cars or never go in the first place!!

Wear & Tear My Arse.....

Bumblesnout · 21/03/2018 18:18

I can't believe people are talking about wear and tear of the vehicle in this context. What petty lives some people lead. Cars are there to be driven, wear and tear happens, the friend shouldn't have offered driving if she's het up about wear and tear of her vehicle, and the OP certainly shouldn't be charged for wear and tear. It's times like this that mumsnet feels like some alternative universe.

OP, I don't think you should be expected to pay any further money. You're paying enough considering the circumstances. How come you're paying half the parking rather than a third of it?

RestingBitchFaced · 21/03/2018 18:37

Why are you paying half of the car park if there are 3 of you?

HildaZelda · 21/03/2018 18:42

Whole thing sounds like a complete nightmare OP. I'd message her and tell her you'll be driving yourself.

Snowman123 · 21/03/2018 18:55

Why is she asking for 50% of the parking?

It all sounds very precise. I would calculate the costs for full journey including parking and divide by 3. Thats more than fair since your only making part of the trip.

If its not that far out, I wouldn't rock the friendship over it.

19lottie82 · 21/03/2018 19:47

Oh do go away!!

Seriously?

Oh get a life love!

I wasn’t suggesting this be factored into the cost as such just that the OP should bear these in mind before she starts getting all pinicity about a few quid!

Babyplaymat · 21/03/2018 19:59

Fuck that, I'd just reply and say that youre sorry but you'd worked it out as xyz based on your quoted calcs and you can't afford more. So not to worry, you'll get the train/drive and meet them there. Then give your bank details for hotel payment.

IllustriouslyIllogical · 21/03/2018 21:58

Seriously?

Oh get a life love!

Yes seriously, it's only a matter of time before the cunty "wear & tear" statement is rolled out by some petty individual on these threads..

I've got a life & it involves a lot of wear & tear!!

flowerslemonade · 21/03/2018 22:07

I would split it equally. So a third of the petrol, a third of the parking.

buttfacedmiscreant · 21/03/2018 22:58

"I think it is going to be cheaper for me to take the train so how about I meet you there?"

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