WIBU not to make my toddler anything for dinner?

[LoopyLou1981]

Disclaimer - I know I would be but I’m losing the will with this at the moment!

My ds is 2.5 and is refusing to eat anything for dinner. I’m sick of preparing decent homemade food only for him to stick his fork or finger in it repeatedly or push it around his plate. I’m even sick of throwing freezer tapas in the oven for 20 minutes only to have the same outcome!
I’ve tried encouraging, bribing, begging and even ended up shouting and in tears in frustration! I don’t know what else to try but he can’t be getting enough nutrition.
His 1 year old sister is clearing her plate and looking at his longingly!
I just don’t see the point in wasting decent food on a meal he won’t eat. I might as well put a piece of bread in front of him. At least when he doesn’t eat that it doesn’t matter.
And rant over! 🙈

My dc used to have sandwhiches or toast for dinner as they had cooked lunch at daycare or I'd have batch cook meals and frown them down for days in wasn't working. I had load of tubs that I'd freeze down: shephards pie, fish pie, chicken casserole, spag bol.

Mine were always too tired to eat a decent dinner

Pick one, perfectly balanced, inoffensive meal that you want him to eat and serve him NOTHING but that for 2 weeks. batch cook it and just serve it up, breakfast, lunch and dinner. Fresh portion each time, but the same meal that you have decided is THE perfectly balanced meal (eg cod, cheesy mashed potato and peas)

Surely this would put them off that meal rather than encourage eating it?! I know if I was expected to eat the same thing morning noon and night I would go off it very quickly. Infact I have actually put myself off certain foods before by eating them too often.

@MessyBun247

Yup. Sometimes, the only thing that works is making enough food for myself and DD, putting it all on my own plate and saying "this is MY tea. Yum yum, mummy's looking forward to her tea" . When she starts demanding to eat it herself, I say "Oh, OK, we can share then - shall I get you a bowl so you can have some?". My life is going to be so much harder when she starts to see through reverse psychology!

My SIL has this with her DD. She just isn't interested in food but seems healthy and happy (she is 9). She goes on and on and on about it to the family - who really aren't that interested!

No wishing to make this lighthearted but we had this with our dog recently. Wouldn't eat his food, really wanted ours (this is a breed who are known to LOVE their food). We served a small portion, and if not eaten it was taken away with no fuss, next meal time another fresh portion came out. The little bugger lasted for 3 days and then finally gave in.

He will eat when he is hungrey. As long as their isn't anything special in return for not eating it will be fine!

What about those kids meals from M&S. My children loved them.

Surely this would put them off that meal rather than encourage eating it?! I know if I was expected to eat the same thing morning noon and night I would go off it very quickly. Infact I have actually put myself off certain foods before by eating them too often.

Toddlers don't work like that, they thrive on repetition.

@Hillingdon haha we did similar with the our cats! Kept turning their noses up at their dinners, and going begging to the neighbours! I didn't see either eat anything for 2 days and was really worried, so kept them locked inside for 24hrs and lo and behold... dinner eaten!

I went from my first kid, who'd give anything a go, just shovelled in what was in front of him (and still does), and if he didn't, then he genuinely didn't like it, so withholding pudding was just being mean, to my second who is a fussy toad - prefers things in breadcrumbs covered in ketchup, and will do anything he can to snack rather than eat dinner - and I have no solutions.

All I do with mine, is make sure there's meat and 2 veg (or equivalent - not including potatoes) in front of him at dinner time, persuade him to eat what he will (even if that means ketchup), and keep snacks on a high shelf and rare. And for him, no pudding if no dinner because he will skip the good stuff for the sweet stuff.

Getting stressed about it isn't going to help, persuasion doesn't work, bribery only works a little bit (and gives him power!) - I think you've just got to give him what he'll eat, and offer other stuff but not worry, until he grows out of it.

Ok if he's got speech delay then help him choose his food by involving him in shopping & cooking food as much as possible. My ds had speech delay until he was 4yrs old and I printed pictures of food & stuck it in a little book. He would then point to whst he wanted to eat and that helped massively as he felt he was in control.

Google visual timetable or makaton symbols and you'll find lots of pictures that you can print off to use. Good luck op.

Mine will often accept a packed lunch. He has cooked meal at nursery so on those days I feel less neurotic about his diet.

What about making him a normal dinner and just leaving it on the table, moved slightly away from him. Act like you DONT want him to eat it. Sometimes reverse psychology works with toddlers

I'll admit, I actually did similar with DS1.

He has since been diagnosed with autism so that explains his fussiness but after a sick bug as a toddler he started gagging at even the idea of dinner.

I got so frustrated, I started making soup and pretending it was for me. When he'd come over to inspect what I had I'd let him 'try' some of 'Mummy's special soup'. It was the only way I could get any dinner in him for a while.

He won't eat soup these days but luckily his diet has improved greatly, even if he's still pretty fussy (he's five).

Sounds like you need Beaky! When ours were little, I created a character (Beaky) which was my index finger and middle finger, walking along the table. This character had his own voice and had conversations with me (I know.....), loudly declaring his intention to take DCs food while they weren't looking. Cue lots of stealth sneaking by Beaky, and much theatrical "No Beaky that's not your dinner - it's DCs! Quick DC eat that bit of cheese/broccoli/pasta before Beaky gets it".
DC now in late teens, and both remember Beaky with affection!

Mine is 2y10m and a little sod with eating. He literally eats about 10 things so I either make meals up with that or offer a bit of that and a bit of something not on the list. He is getting slightly better at trying new stuff with a bribe as Long as there is something else ok on the plate as well.

So yesterday he had some spaghetti hoops and banana (both on list) but to get a yoghurt he had to eat two pieces of fish finger and three pieces of cucumber (up from one piece of each the other day)

whyayepetal that’s brilliant! You need to get Beaky copywritten! 😂
Thank you for all of your suggestions everyone. I’ll give them all a go in turn until something works.xx