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AIBU?

To wonder why we hate our curves?

291 replies

malificent7 · 20/03/2018 13:42

Ive been reading the beauty myth by Naomi Wolf and she makes some very intetesting points about the diet industry.

In the 1950s etc when women weren't in the workplace, curves were celebrated. Monroe was a size 16.

Since the 1960s when Twiggy was a role model, women were more succesful at work so the patriarchy had to make women slaves to being thin to keep them in check.

So do men prefer curvy women? Isn't fat on females healthy? Ive read on here that men stop fancying their partners when they put on weight?

So are thinner women more attractive or is that just what society wants?

From experience and after reading threads on here, dieting makes us miserable and we have a bad relationship with food..so why hate our natural curves (not obesity rolls of fat.)?

OP posts:
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Jaygee61 · 20/03/2018 15:13

A size 8 can be a healthy figure on one woman, where a size 14 can be a healthy figure on another.

Exactly.

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lostinjapan · 20/03/2018 15:32

I was curvier at 9.5 stone than I am now at 11.5 stone. Curviness to me is having a low waist to hip and/or waist to bust ratio. I've always had big boobs and a big bum, even at my lowest weight. But when I gain weight, it all goes on my legs and stomach, my waist disappears and I lose the whole hourglass look Sad

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Ollivander84 · 20/03/2018 15:48

Curvy is a shape though. You can be a size 4 or 20 and curvy or a size 4 or 20 and straight up/down
My size 4 friend is curvy, she has boobs and a bum, my size 10 friend isn't curvy at all, she's very much straight up and down with no waist. I'm a 14/16 and curvy

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ikeepaforkinmypurse · 20/03/2018 16:16

That's the point, a size 20 is not curvy, a size 20 is fat. It's not about shape past a certain unhealthy point. We are confusing 2 different things

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Ollivander84 · 20/03/2018 16:49

I get that but a curve is an actual shape. You can be fat and curvy. Or thin and curvy. Or fat and not curvy

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opionated · 20/03/2018 16:51

are you claiming this lady was 16 wtf

To wonder why we hate our curves?
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Annabelle4 · 20/03/2018 16:56

I know it's been said already, but I watched a documentary about Marilyn Monroe lately and they mentioned her weight in pounds, which was equal to something like 8 stone.
I don't know where that myth came from, but she looks to me like a modern day size 8?

Anyway, aren't curves in? So many of the celebrities have gone for bum implants, breast implants, etc.
I remember reading magazines in my teens and 20s and the skeletal Look was in... Victoria Beckham, etc. I don't think it's considered to be a good look anymore.

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Jessikita · 20/03/2018 16:57

I’m curvy and I love it. I’ve never hated my body.

I love loads of different shapes and body types on women

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Bluntness100 · 20/03/2018 16:57

Have you ever seen one of Monroes dresses, she was tiny. And you just need to look at her image to know she wasn't a size 16. She was only five foot four.

I also agree please don't confuse fat and curves. No woman hates curves be they proportioned breasts or bum. It's fat that's the issue.

Men don't tend to find either thin or overweight woman the idea, (well some do) but more a healthy weight, edging towards slim. I think some study showed in blind views a size 12 was what most men picked as what they found most physically attractive.

So that would be way bigger than Monroe was..🤣

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strawberrygelato · 20/03/2018 17:07

Ahh, if only men had the problem of looking in the mirror and wondering if their bums were too big....

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limon · 20/03/2018 17:08

Curves and fat ars two different things. I hate my excess fat.

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NotUmbongoUnchained · 20/03/2018 17:10

strawberry

I grew up with 6 brothers. Men have their own endless list of body insecurities too.

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strawberrygelato · 20/03/2018 17:10

Why should we women care what we look like? Shouldn't we strive to be healthy? Some of us have saggy boobs, no bums, hooked noses, curly hair, stretch marks, crooked teeth. Are we somehow defective because we don't live up to society's standards? Should we all be sheep for capitalism? Buy this make up otherwise you're worthless?

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strawberrygelato · 20/03/2018 17:11

grew up with 6 brothers. Men have their own endless list of body insecurities too

Of course. But not to the extent of what women have to face in the media.

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manicinsomniac · 20/03/2018 17:15

I love my body. After bearing and feeding three children, surviving serious illness and allowing me to run, jump, swim and have a successful career that I love, it seems ridiculous to hate on a misplaced roll of fat or two

I love, love, love this attitude. It's amazing and you're so right. A healthy human body is a fabulous thing that should be valued, admired and liked.

I hate my body and scrutinise it daily for non existent fat rolls (my bmi is 17ish). Just the word curves makes me cringe inside. I can't stand that, no matter how low my weight goes, I still have hips. I hate everything about a 'womanly' figure. I would give anything not to feel like that and I don't know why I do. The outlook quoted above is what I aspire to and what I wish was the default view for all women to have about their bodies.

It's not better to be fat than to be anorexic

Yes it is! Unless you're talking about the super morbidly obese.
I know an awful lot of fat people. They have successful jobs, happy relationships, eat normal, healthy, varied diets, exercise, have full and active social lives and are confident and happy. Many have no health issues at all.

Anorectics, at low points in their illness, are likely to be unable to work, struggling to maintain relationships with friends and family, eating so little that they are risking osteoperosis, organ failure and death, lacking the energy to exercise or engage socially and are miserable with low self esteem. Most have complex health issues.

A BMI of 10 -15 is no worse than a BMI of 40+, I agree. But it's a heck of a lot worse than a BMI of 28-38, which is what I'm guessing most 'fat' people are. At times when I've been seriously ill with anorexia I have had a lot in common with the kind of extreme obesity you see on those awful tv shows. But very little in common with your average 'fat' person going about living their life normally.

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TalkinPeece · 20/03/2018 17:16

I like my curves
I hate my flabby bits

I stay slim to stay healthy

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BeyondThePage · 20/03/2018 17:16

There are many pictures of Marilyn Monroe - this one is of her when she was a 1950's size 16 alongside Karen Blixen

To wonder why we hate our curves?
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woodhill · 20/03/2018 17:16

My dgm worked as a nurse in the 40s/50s but my dm always felt embarrassed about it

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Bluntness100 · 20/03/2018 17:17

Why should we women care what we look like

What?this isn't gender related. Men also care what they look like. For many reasons humans care how they look, even lost tribes and their body art do.

It's about attracting a member of the opposite (or same) sex when we are younger. About presenting a cared for appearance to thr world. About having some self respect in terms of our personal appearance and grooming. About proffessionalism in the workplace. Very few people genuinely don't care what they look like, and those few who don't generally don't present well.

However your posts smacks of "its bad so I won't bother". And that's not healthy as caring for your appearance is not just about the basics, but being a healthy weight, clean, groomed etc.

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strawberrygelato · 20/03/2018 17:19

However your posts smacks of "its bad so I won't bother". And that's not healthy as caring for your appearance is not just about the basics, but being a healthy weight, clean, groomed etc.

Of course grooming and cleanliness is important. That was not my point.

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strawberrygelato · 20/03/2018 17:20

Are someone's grroming standards low if they have sagging tits? No. So I think you've got my post completely wrong.

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Bugjune · 20/03/2018 17:21

I'm sick of men being brought up in discussions. Stop making life into a battle of the fucking sexes, it's incredibly tedious.

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Greyhorses · 20/03/2018 17:22

Huge difference between curvy and fat. People are confusing one for the other and I think that’s the problem!

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ikeepaforkinmypurse · 20/03/2018 17:22

Why should we women care what we look like?
why not? What's wrong with being attractive, young ish looking, fit and healthy looking? What's wrong with liking what you see in the mirror? Yes, work with what you have, but why not be the best you can be?

I don't understand why having children should mean not caring about your appearance any more. If you are happy with yourself, that's great, but for me having children doesn't mean my body has to change - or more accurately go back the way it was before.

Men workout just as hard to stay fit, they go to expensive hairdressers too, some have fake tans, of course male appearance matters just as much. They might not discuss it the way women do, but not all men are slobs.

We are so lucky to live a in world where we can look the way we want, wear what we please, have access to cheap procedures to make us look better - fake tan, botox, hair dye, even plastic surgery to correct what is troubling us. It's brilliant, why not make the most of it instead of resigning ourselve that our looks are gone forever when we reach 39.

I don't know how she does it, but even if I am not a fan, Liz Hurley looks fantastic and she is 52 and a mother!

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Bluelady · 20/03/2018 17:23

There's one reason and one only why I'd rather be at my minimum weight - clothes look better. Shallow as a puddle, me.

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