WIBU or unprofessional to send this email?

[supersop60]

My DD has been struggling with depression for about 18 months. She's under a CAMHS psychiatrist, seeing the psych nurse every week and is on Prozac. She is still very up and down with moods, and there are some days when I dare not leave her on her own (she's 17, dropped out of college), and some days when I have to rush home from work to avert a crisis.
I'm a music teacher and have had to move students' lessons because of this and recently forgot to enter 2 students for an exam. They have both complained to my HOD. WIBU to send an email explaining what has been going on, and appeal to their compassion as mothers?
No student has ever paid for a lesson that they have not received, IYSWIM.

To be clear - I would have never used the phrase "your compassion as mothers". I can hear it as I write it, and it's awful!

hugely unprofessional

also you need to respect the privacy of your DD.

Is it too late to send a late entry?I've done it before. £30 extra a pop, or at least it used to be.

forgot to enter 2 students for an exam

That’s quite major. They have every right to complain as you have directly impacted their education. Let’s be honest, you would be angry if your daughter’s exam entry was ‘forgotten’.

Don’t email the parents unless you can reinstate their exam entry and are simply apologetic with no backstory. Do email HOD, and see if they can give you extra support as you are clearly overwhelmed

In regards to your daughter, it’s stressful but everyone goes through really difficult times. I think you need to get a better grip on your work life, maybe getting a list out of things you need to do to avoid forgetting anything etc. I think your daughter should be gently asked to consider college again, as it may uplift her self esteem and give her a routine and something to do. Depression can be a vicious cycle.

If I'm honest, I think they could appeal to your compassion as a mother just as easily for how rubbish their children feel. This wasn't a missed class, this is a major consequence that they may have to wait a whole year for in order to take. Additionally, they may be applying to schools, youth conservatories, etc that need this qualification. Yes, what you are going through is awful and I wish your DD the best, but from their perspective: their children have been working very hard for years for this exam, probably sacrificing other activities and time with friends, practicing relentlessly and studying, then to be told that they will have to wait another year all because the teacher forgot to do their job? That is devastating to a child. A year is a lifetime to them. They could just as easily appeal to your compassion as a mother to wonder how you could have let this happen.

Look, it was a mistake, you were distracted because of valid reasons, but it doesn't really matter in this case. As soon as you were overwhelmed, you should have spoken to your HOD to get support to prevent this from happening. But coulda, woulda, shoulda. I would own this mistake, and apologise profusely through your HOD.

I sincerely hope you and your DD get the support and help you need.

Definitely do not do it...There is a music teacher at one of my DC's schools who overshares her family issues. Its been spoken about a lot between parents and its made several people very uncomfortable and caused a couple of complaints.

Private and professional life are best kept separate.

Use this as a chance to sit with the HOD and plan what is the best way for you to be able to continue working whilst also ensuring that your daughter is kept safe. If lessons are having to be cancelled then whether people are paying or not that will become a problem along the line so a plan needs considering.

It’s hard I had to give up work as I couldn’t juggle my sons needs and work without making myself ill.

If your situation at home is impacting your work to this extent, then you should consider if working right now is the best thing. Can you get some extended leave yo deam with things?

It's very unfair to be annoyed that these parents complained; of course they would complain, what else do you expect?

How long do the kids need to wait to take the exam if they miss this one? If we're talking next year, then you've massively messed up and should not be putting your personable issues onto these parents - they're already deal with a huge mess up in their kids' education's and don't want to hear a sob story. If it's just a couple months then they'll get over it fairly quickly and there's no need for you to even think about revealing personal information.

They are interested in their child, not yours.

Yes, very unprofessional. Hope neither of them is applying to a music course at uni and relying on those exams for entry.

I think you need to speak to your HOD about taking time off.

Thank you again.
Both students will be able to take their exam in June. The exams take place in school, so no inconvenience to the parents. It's just a question of postponing for a couple of months. One is in yr 4 and one in yr 7. Prep test and Grade 2.
Lessons are not cancelled, just rearranged. I have spoken to my HOD today, and he is going to talk to the parents and pass on my profound apologies (and that is all.)

Hope you get support from the HOD and they manage to appease the parents - that's really what you need and deserve right now. Ok it's 'unprofessional' but you have a good track record and are clearly annoyed with yourself. Those particular exams are fairly trivial: if my kids' music teacher failed on this point due to stressful family issues, I would be sympathetic ( and wouldn't need / want to know the details). It's a fairly minor blip in the scheme of things. I'm sorry to hear about your daughter - it must be very stressful.