To go off sick?

[Whitegrenache]

I have had anxiety and depression for over 20 years. Usually very well managed on medication and doesn't impact on work attendance.
I have a stressful job which relies on a lot of cold calling (sales) and self motivation.
This is a tough year as the company is going through a decline in sales globally but hoping to pick up next year ( massive pharmaceutical company)
I live a very outdoorsy life with my horses and dogs but this weather is making things very difficult to even go out and enjoy them.
I have realised this week that I also am turning to alcohol to cure some of this desperation and ended up making an idiot of myself in front of kids at the weekend when drunk nothing nasty just stupid behaviour which I am appalled at.
Last week I skived for 3 days and spent all those days in bed sleeping and hiding from the world.
This Monday I felt awful again plus a load of guilt from the drinking and I have decided to do something about it.
I have made an apt with the GP today to discuss increasing my anti depressant tablets.
I have contacted my works private healthcare to ask for some counselling and I haves decided to also ask GP about what to do about the alcohol and try and stop hay spiralling out of control.

I am sitting here at home though wracked with guilt that I should be at work and the guilt is horrible. However this may be also the anxiety kicking in.

I don't think IABU to take some time off work and try and pull myself together but I'm worried it will impact on my career.

Not sure what I am asking for feedback for really!
It feels better writing this down and any advice and guidance would be very much appreciated.
I just feel so lazy for not working but literally I am not doing anything apart from taking kids to school and feeding them.

Anyone..can't remember how long this will stay in active convos

Hi OP, I'm really sorry to hear you are having a difficult time.

I know it is frustrating but only you and your GP can answer if you should go off sick. Do you think it would be helpful to be home or do you think having the stability and routine of work would be helpful? If you find it difficult to go into work and think having a couple of weeks to focus on yourself and your own mental health would be helpful the you should look into having that time off.

I hope things start to improve.

It’s a vicious circle, the more you avoid something, the more the anxiety builds. You end up avoiding the things that could actually make you feel a bit better, like exercise and routine.

Maybe take a few days to recoup. Talk to your GP and work about working part time, just for a short period? To get you back into the swing of things?

Do you think the horses and dogs are making demands on your time, can you stable them somewhere else for a while and rest?

Thanks all.

The horses and dogs are what keeps me sane to be honest and at least a get an hours fresh air and exercise each day.

I just can't force myself to get out of bed..

I'm so bloody crap

I am sure that this is a phase and it will pass if you handle it well. i.e. Do what feels right for you.
You may get over the guilt of not working by either supporting a temp replacement at work or working part time.

Enjoy your dogs and horses and children, wholeheartedly for a time till you start to heal

OP his shit that you feel like they. Have you weighed up the pros and cons?

Con might be the worry if someone else covering your job whilst you're off where as pros might be that some time to yourself will help you to feel better.

Only you know what's best for you I'm afraid.

Off to the doctors in the morning for some advice.

I can't seem to get out of bed

Hi OP have you always worked in sales?

I found myself in a similar position when I took on a sales job? The environment of a sales floor was not for me and drastically altered my mental health. I didn't even realise the effect it was having until I left. Some people thrive in sales but it is not for others

Worked in sales for 22 years!
Golden handcuffs I am afraid
I cant afford to change careers for at least 10 years when the mortgage is paid off.

I had that same feeling - also worked in sales. I handed in my notice in the end and went into freelance work. Best decision I ever made. Take the time off and see what other jobs are out there and apply. Life's too short to be miserable!

You sound like you could really do with some time off sick. I think it would give you the time to just heal. Getting counselling will also hopefully help, and if you are off work then that will give you the headspace to work on the issues that counselling might raise.

Sorry you're having a hard time. Don't hate yourself. It's OK to take time off when you need it.