AIBU: Open Ended Requests.

[SirGawain]

AIBU. It annoys me that when people want me to help them to do something they don't just say, "Could you help me with xyz on Friday" they say, "Are you doing anything on Friday".
I am hardly going to commit to saying yes or no until I am clear about their expectations. I may not want to help with that specific tasks even if I am free. On the other hand I may feel that it is worth changing my plans if I feel that the task is really important.

They're trying to bamboozle you.

If you say "No I have no plans" and then they say "Oh great! Can you look after my incontinent vicious dog then please?"

You just say "Oh no sorry....when I say I have no plans, I mean it to stay that way...good luck finding someone though!"

My sister does this. It annoys me as I feel like she is trying to corner me into agreeing to something she knows I'd rather not.

Totally agree. My parents are ones for this. There's no way of telling whether 'what are you up to for the rest of your day off tomorrow' means just that, or 'can you come and do [insert onerous task you'd rather not do here]'

Yanbu. I always reply 'why?' if I get one of those.

Always have a plan b answer!

What are you doing Friday?
Answer-i have several things I need to do, not decided in which order yet. Why?

Then if it's something you want to do you can "fit it in" around your day. If not, the good old mumsnet answer, no that doesn't work for me.

“Why?” is my usual answer too.
Even when cornered you just say you’ve actually got a dentist appointment or whatever at that particular time.

I dislike the double bluff that people do sometimes.
E.G:
Bluffer: "So are you doing much this weekend?"
Gimble: "Not really"
Bluffer: "oh great in that case can you alphabetise my shoe collection and polish the dog please?"
Gimble: Bollocks.

Sneaky stealth tactics that lure you in to revealing that actually no you're not doing anything this weekend, you plan to ferment in cheese ball dust in front of the TV until your takeaway arrives and then return to your fermentation process until further notice.

The answer is 'What did you have in mind?'

And when they tell you, you either agree enthusiastically or say no, you can't.

I too reply with "what do you have in mind", especially if the bluffer has form for bluffing.

I used to dislike my mum asking questions to which there was only one right answer, such as "how did your mark compare with the other marks in the class?", or "I'm hoping you'll do xyz for me".

I may be guilty of using this It's not to try and manipulate someone into helping me, but I sometimes don't want to start mentioning things to people if they aren't available anyway. I guess it's in case they feel the need to rearrange stuff in order to help me or to help in other ways such as suggesting alternative people I could ask.

My answer is usually something along the lines of "Not sure yet, are you?"