Crazy or what re job offer?

[Amie021]

I have had a wonderful indulgent year off work. The party now needs to be over so I've been job hunting. Been to a number of interviews but not been offered the roles. I had a rush request by an agency to attend an interview last week in the medical field (I am quite familiar with this). Seemed a nice place and the people too. However, I walked away thinking this is way out of my league - more so being put off by the assumption I would hit the ground running. I said it was doubtful as whilst I had done the work before I wasn't familiar with their systems.

The agency rang and said the interviewer thought I was excellent and they want to offer me the bloody job. I cried, cried some more and have done so all weekend.

My main reasons are anxiety based in that maybe the interviewer is not being realistic about the hitting the ground running bit.

I really need a job for sanity and some financial reasons and I understand and accept the argument something is better than nothing and it could be a very long time before I get another job offer. I think I knew in my gut they would offer me the job and I had my reservations kick in the moment my interview ended.

I suffer from extreme anxiety and lack of self-confidence. I hide it well but it's almost physically painful. I feel very fearful. It may be a reasonably hard job to master and I would have felt more confident in an easier role so as to feel comfortable. I appreciate all the reasonings 'to face the fear' but I feel quite sick about it.

I've had advice from friends and family to give it a go, suck it and see, and it might all pan out well in the end. AIBU to still not be convinced? Am I being very ungrateful?

I want to do well in any job and always give my best. Will the agency 'blacklist' me if I turn it down?

Sorry for the rant; your constructive advice would be very much appreciated. Please be kind! I am feeling very fragile..........

Unless you've completed blagged and bull-shitted your way into a job that you are neither qualified or experienced for (that would actually involve lying or misleading) then you DO deserve this great job!!!! Lots of people at interview present an optimistic / stretch version to suit the role.....that's fine! If you decline the job because you are essentially crippled by your own anxiety the the next candidate will only take the job from you ....not because they were better suited but because they were pluckier. Don't pander to your anxiety demon!!!

Speaking as an employer I would encourage you very much to go for it, if at all possible - please dig deep and do this for yourself if you can.
We had a position going last year and there was a former colleague of DH's that I thought would be perfect for the job - I knew she was bored and underused in her current role and that she needed flexibility, which we could provide. She didn't have direct experience in what we were doing but that didn't bother me in the slightest - I don't hire people for knowledge as loads of people have that, I hire people for spark, for the sense that they can think for themselves and have a bit of fire and initiative. That is far far more valuable than knowing a bunch of things that, let's face it, can mostly be Googled in a second. I was so frustrated because she entirely talked herself out of the job -she saw that I believed in her and wanted her to step up and she freaked out and started talking about how she couldn't fulfil what I wanted etc. I knew she could but her own worries about not being 'perfect' held her back. She said she may be available again in the future but I'm not going to ask her again - it was her chance to take and she missed it. I can understand her reservations but the only thing standing in her way was herself.

Millions of men step up for jobs they are in no way qualified or able for all the time. That's partly the reason why there are so many thoroughly mediocre or downright awful senior male execs out there - they don't care if they can't do the job, they feel entitled to it and they take it. You don't have to be perfect, because nobody is, you just have to do your best. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to your best friend and give yourself a fighting chance - you can do it.

1. OP - google “imposter syndrome”
2. It’s normal to feel anxious and not capable after time out of work, even more so when you’ve been in child rearing mode. Give yourself a talking to, put on a great work outfit, and rock it. As someone else said, fake it til you make it.
3. Remember, “I don’t think I’m good enough for the job I’ve just been offered” said no man ever.

Good luck x

I would take the job. Would it make you feel better if you had some meetings before it started? For a bit of a handover? Or you could shadow someone for a couple of days or something like that? Then if it seems totally not right you could tell them before you're due to start?

Glad to hear you're going to go for it OP - I didn't see that post before I posted.

I know it's a terrible cliche but 'feel the fear and do it anyway' is my motto these days - I may be anxious, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't do it. Rarely does anxiety tell you anything truthful - most of the time you can safely ignore what it's trying to convince you about the world. It's very hard to do that, but if you can (through counselling or CBT or something that suits you) get to a point where you can live more comfortably with the anxiety (or ideally dull it down to quiet roar) that'll have a huge impact on your life.

Good luck!

If you were truthful with them then they know your capabilities. I'd second others and ring and get more information about the post and perhaps talk to somebody who also does the same or similar role to check if you can do it
Where is it?

My DS has geneneralised anxiety disorder. In his world, an anxiety will always be found. If you decide to decline the job, do consider if the anxiety will be gone for good or if it will simply be replaced in your mind with another - potentially worse anxiety (financial, meeting new people). I think you are experiencing the 'fight or flight' response to this job offer and your instincts are telling you to 'flight' but it's a primeval and inappropriate response to the stressful situation which you fear. The best thing you can do is write down these fears and a rationalised response e.g.

1. They will expect me to hit the ground running and I will disappoint them and not cope! They will think I'm a charlatan!

• Rationalised response - I know that I gave honest responses at interview. I can contact them and ask more info around the induction process. Even the best candidates need some easing in & I'm a quick learner and I enjoy this field of work. The environment seemed to be very supportive.

Do try challenging your thoughts in this way!!!

......and tell yourself that you will NOT think this through at night! I'm convinced that if one is of an anxious disposition, nothing good comes of chewing these worries over in the wee small hours. Negative thoughts are only magnified 10 fold, so don't do it!!
Best of luck ...it'll be great!

Good luck! Very glad you decided to give it a go.

Bear in mind that your agency probably had a number of candidates in those other 12 as well, so may not have bigged you up any more than their other candidates.

I understand it was the same with my job - a few candidates but once I'd had the first interview with one guy my potential new boss was told to see me before they even considered the others. It IS high pressure, but they must have seen something they really liked - including your honesty! Bear in mind that many job applicants exaggerate on their CVs and big themselves up in interview, admitting to no faults at all, so your responses may well have been a breath of fresh air

Well done you for being bold and giving yourself the chance. And lovely that you will have a holiday after a few weeks, make sure you switch off, and enjoy success at having got the early weeks under your belt, then go back to work recharged and ready for action 👍