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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD 17 has gained 2 stones in 9 months AIBU to be worried ?

93 replies

Humptyabouttofall · 19/03/2018 09:43

My DD 17 yr old has gained 2 stones in 9 months. She has always been healthy, sporty and satisfied with her appearance and has had a good relation with food. In April last year though due to persistent facial acne we went to the doctors who advised she started taking the pill to see if that helped, which it did and at that time she weighed 8 stones. By August, acne was back, not as bad but doc put her on antibiotic tablets as well. Big improvement after that, but not sure which of the 2 things was helping the most. By September, weight gain was apparent but we put it down to having moved to the UK (lived abroad before August) and she has a lot more choice of foods here. I mention this because 2 1/2 years ago she was diagnosed with various food intolerances (before diagnosis it was very scary for her - intermittent pains in joints and muscles all over her body).
By September we were noticing a lot of mood swings in her and she also started to say she couldn't stop eating, she never felt full and didn't feel in control of herself around food. Her weight gain was noticeable in her clothes but she didn't weigh herself during all this time. I took it lightly, because I know she only eats and home and I know what's in my cupboards or else when we are out as a family and I couldn't really see that she was binging that much, so I told her not to worry, do more exercise as she wasn't being as active and chill about it. Finally though came to the conclusion ourselves that she should stop the pill to see if this helped with moodiness and weight. This she did in October. Since then moods are a lot better though she hasn't had a single period (which I find worrying too) though she has continued to gain weight to the point that on 3rd Feb at the doctors she weighed 10 1/2 stones. Doc not too concerned but we asked to get to see a diet specialist DD herself thought this external help would be positive for her. Still waiting for the appointment. Lately she is being very careful with what she eats and being more active but feels bad about herself and she is plagued by stretch marks all over her legs and bum. (btw no acne, but still on antibiotics). I want to help but I don't know how to. Her mental health concerns me the most. Any suggestions will be very welcome. Thank you very much.

OP posts:
YoloSwaggins · 19/03/2018 11:39

Graphista, I stopped growing at 13....

Short people tend to stop growing early, lol.

SeaToSki · 19/03/2018 11:39

I would ask her to keep a food and exercise diary for 2 weeks and write down everything she eats and drinks and any exercise that pushes her heart rate over 100bpm. The aim of this would be to have a record to take to the doctor. If she is eating healthily, that much weight gain is a red flag for all sorts of illnesses. Unfortunately the only way to have them take you seriously is to have that food record and show that her calorie intake is reasonable. I think at age 17 you could have a calm and serious conversation with her about the medical reasons for keeping a food/exercise record, and it being accurate. If the record shows that her calorie intake is very high, you can talk her through that in private, without a visit to the GP

Graphista · 19/03/2018 11:41

It happens but it's becoming more rare that they stop growing in height at that age, with everything else that's going on I would want my dd seen with these symptoms.

Personal experience with gps and gynae issues is very poor. GP's tend to treat symptoms without trying to discover the underlying cause.

This does sound like pcos which it is in your dds interest to get proper diagnosis and treatment ASAP

Original poster
Humptyabouttofall · 19/03/2018 11:44

I'm not happy either that she's still on the antibiotics for her acne. The doctor said it was a mild dosage and not to worry - doesn't think either that it's the cause of weight gain. End of Oct last year ran out of pills for 4 days and acne started back right away, so she does want to stick with them.

Thank you everyone for your suggestions and points of view. This is the first time I post,

OP posts:
Tomorrowillbeachicken · 19/03/2018 11:45

Get her tested for pcos

LimonViola · 19/03/2018 11:45

Poor girl.

You sound a very supportive mum OP.

I think however, at her age, you'd be better off backing off a little and letting her decide how she wants to handle this. She's almost an adult and clearly aware she has a problem. It might not be a good idea to try interfere.

If she thinks it's a problem and wants to lose it then you can support her by all means, get healthy food in, offer to work out with her if you think it'd help. But I'd be letting her make her own decisions about her health and her body to give her some personal responsibility and make sure you're not imposing your own ideas about weight and body image onto her. Let her decide whether she's happy with her new weight or whether she wants to lose it.

mugecohu · 19/03/2018 11:46

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user1485778793 · 19/03/2018 11:46

If the doctor isn't concerned why are you?

She's 17, some people are still growing. She's impressionable so stop making a fuss and work on her self esteem for who she is and not what you (as it's only you not her gp) perceive to be a problem

trulybadlydeeply · 19/03/2018 11:47

If she has been struggling with her mood, is there any chance she has been self medicating with alcohol, which can add a lot of calories. I know quite a few teens who had issues with alcohol until they had MH issues properly addressed. (Not saying she has MH problems but even if the pill created mood swings/issues this could happen).

I would also be concerned about the lack of a period since stopping the pill, is it worth asking the GP for a blood test to look at her hormone levels? This can so easily affect appetite, metabolism, etc.

So many teenagers (IME) will have quite sudden weight losses/gains at this age, and then stabilise into their adult weight, but if she is concerned then I would support her to rule out any underlying issues.

Original poster
Humptyabouttofall · 19/03/2018 11:48

good idea, have to have diary of intake and exercise to show doctor

OP posts:
Happymummy1991 · 19/03/2018 11:51

limonviola that is exactly what I was wanting to say but you have articulated it far better than me!
Don't want to offend you OP so sorry if I came across as rude. You obviously just want to help DD.

BoeandBall · 19/03/2018 11:51

I would be careful what you say to her as she could grow up hating herself. My mother used to tell me I had a big stomach, I developed a binge eating disorder, self harmed and have always resented her for making me feel horrible about myself when gaining weight as a young adult is normal, especially with her hormones messing around. Are you sure you're worried about her weight or do you just not want a "big" daughter?

jamaisjedors · 19/03/2018 11:51

I think it's the antibiotics. I have just read the book "10%human" about the role of microbiomes and antibiotics in the obesity epidemic.
www.amazon.co.uk/10-Human-Microbes-Health-Happiness/dp/0007584032?tag=mumsnetforum-21
If you don't want to read the whole book, basically she links the obesity epidemic to the arrival of antibiotics.

OutyMcOutface · 19/03/2018 11:52

Both the pill and antibiotics can cause weight gain. Is she taking probiotics to counteract the antibiotics? (On the note of acne I took antibiotics for this as a teen as well but I found daily exfoliation much more effective-does she exfoliate?). Anther thing you may want to consider is thyroid problems. Has her hair been thinning at all? This can be a side effect of the pill but is more commonly an indication of thyroid problems. And don’t listen to the ‘if the doctor isn’t worried it’s fine’ brigade. British doctors are notoriously shit and clearly her doctors haven’t been doing her any favours. She really should have been put on this pill for acne. It canhave very unpleasant sideffects.

Piffle11 · 19/03/2018 11:53

My closest friend has a 17 year old daughter who's weight has increased vastly over the last 2 years, and I see my friend constantly going on about 'what's wrong' and insisting the girl exercises more and stops eating chocolate: and I worry for that girl as it can become obsessive. And apart from being on the Pill for acne, you could have been describing me! I was a really skinny child and I was also a late developer: Between the ages of 16 and 17 I put on around 1 and a half stones: my parents were horrified (they are very judgemental about anyone overweight) and I was made to feel like a big fat freak - I was still only 9 and a half stones at 5'7"!! However, I think that it was me just kind of getting to where I was always going to be: all the women in my family are big - my DM is the smallest in her family and she's a size 16 - some of my aunts are around size 26/28 on her side, and my DF's side were around size 18-20. So I was never going to keep the skinny frame I had at 10! Plus, school was very regimented and so there was limited time for snacking, whereas I was nibbling more here and there at college, and drinking fizzy drinks that I'd never had before. And all the coffees ... it adds up, even if you're convinced you're not eating that much. I think once I'd stopped growing upwards, my body started filling out. On the plus side, over 30 years later and I'm still the same weight, so I guess that really was 'just me'. I think it's really great that you're being so supportive: I've had a lifelong issue with food thanks to my DP's reaction to my 'weight gain'. But I do think that maybe your daughter is just filling out naturally ... and as for the mood swings - I don't know a teenage girl who hasn't experienced those! I really do think it's her hormones in this case. If you're 17, spotty, moody, and putting on weight, then you sound pretty normal to me. Please just be careful not to turn it into something it isn't and give your DD a complex about her appearance.

Steamcloud · 19/03/2018 11:54

Tread carefully op!

By all means rule out medical/hormonal issues but I wouldn't underestimate the effects of moving from abroad either psychologically (comfort eating to deal with change/loss of friends perhaps?) and in terms of diet (the greater availability of food on the go in the UK).

Hope all goes well for your dd.

Enb76 · 19/03/2018 11:55

To all those people saying back off, really? The daughter is unhappy with her weight gain.

While she's currently towards the top end of a healthy weight, the higher you go the harder it is to lose (should you want to, which she does) - when should her mother worry? when she's obese? when she's even more unhappy?

If there's a reasonable fix wouldn't it be better to sort out now than carrying on the weight gain until it becomes too large a problem to get a handle on easily?

QuimReaper · 19/03/2018 11:59

10.5 stone may be a perfectly normal weight, but gaining 2.5 stone in such a short space of time with no discernible lifestyle change is not. I'm really surprised the doctor isn't showing any concern - I'd think he'd be checking her hormone levels and thyroid. Definitely press them for tests or find another GP. Poor lass.

user1485778793 · 19/03/2018 12:03

Don't keep a diary unless a medical professional has told you to. She'll become obsessed. It sounds like your obsessed already. Go out and do stuff with her, enjoy time with her instead of pre empting an issue which isn't there yet.

halfwitpicker · 19/03/2018 12:04

Where did you move from? If you were unable warm country chances are she was exercising more and perhaps eating healthier foods? UK has a massive problem with snack culture

Original poster
Humptyabouttofall · 19/03/2018 12:04

BoeandBall small or big is not the issue here. I am certainly not like your mother and would never put anyone down for their physical appearance least of all my daughter. We are not a weight obsessed family, don't do lastest fad diets, not always jumping on the scales. Not our scene.
Always show my daughter that she is loved and appreciated and sharing my/her problem here would be to get feedback on other mums experiences in case there is are underlying problems to be addressed, be they hormonal or psychological.

OP posts:
halfwitpicker · 19/03/2018 12:05

If you moved from, not unable Hmm

Original poster
Humptyabouttofall · 19/03/2018 12:05

No hidden alcohol consumption either.

OP posts:
Original poster
Humptyabouttofall · 19/03/2018 12:07

jamaisjedors - thank you, very interesting, will look into it

OP posts:
Happymummy1991 · 19/03/2018 12:07

IMO enb76 her mother shouldn't worry about her weight at all really because at 17 it's her business and up to her what she does about it. But perhaps that is just my opinion because I was more independent at 17 than most I don't know?
I just think it's something to tread carefully about because at that age and with the contraceptive pill it's not unusual to gain some weight. Don't want to make mountains out of molehills and make her self conscious about it for the rest of her life.