To not do the laundry

[NeeChee]

Unless it's in the laundry bin?
DSC is 10, and knows to put dirty clothes in the laundry bin, in fact he would do it when he was younger. But now he just dumps everything in a pile on his bedroom. Clean laundry doesn't get put away either, it gets dumped in the pile and then it all ends up in the laundry bin when he eventually tidies up, most of it not even worn.
Do other peoples' kids put their own clothes in the laundry bin / away of their own volition? I ask in all honesty, I don't know what is age appropriate for a ten year old. Am I expecting too much? His dad seems to think he's capable of doing it, and leaves him to it.

At 10 he ought to be able to do it himself, but as he isn't, he needs a short period of supervision every day to ensure he does a quick tidy up.
Make it a condition of an activity he likes to do.
It is just basic parenting.
Refusing to do the laundry is just turning it into a bigger problem.

And his dad is being a lazy parent.

His dad does tell him to tidy up. He's warned him about the pile on the floor quite a few times, but it still appears hours after he has tidied.
I do try to encourage him, I'll ask if he has anything needs washing, and he'll just say no, even though there is. I don't want to keep nagging or sound like I'm accusing him of lying.
I'm going to start putting the clothes away for him. Personally, I don't feel it is too much to ask him to put dirty clothes in the wash bin. But, I have limited experience in this area!

At ten I would expect him to put his dirty clothes in the wash basket.

I leave clean clothes on the edge of my kids beds. If they don't want to out them away fine but I would be livid if they ended up back in the basket through laziness.

Can you get him his own laundry basket for dirty clothes and a box to put clean clothes in so they don't end up all over the bedroom?

Don't do it for him. This a bad idea on so many levels. You are teaching him that women clean up after men.
His dad needs to ensure he does it. Just telling him then allowing him to not do it is lazy parenting.
You are validating stereotypical wifework.

I've just been in and put the latest clean stuff away for him and tidied his drawers and cupboard (where he'd shoved the rest of the clothes he didn't dump in the wash last time :()
He actually has quite a bit of storage, I've tried to organise it, but he probably won't like it lol

If he's not doing as he's told then he needs punishment/consequences.

Otherwise nothing's going to change.

I've found for 10 year olds that it's more productive to tell them exactly what needs to be done rather than the general 'tidy up'. This does make more work to start with but works better. A 10 year old should be starting to have some sort of a pride in what he wears and how he looks.
So a simple, 'when you've had your shower you need to put dirty clothes in laundry basket' 'When I deliver clean clothes to your room you need to put them away in drawers' Check he understands what your instructions are and then leave him to it. At the beginning check after each shower or whatever and remind him what your expectations are, 'Don't forget, dirty clothes in basket' Then no more reminding but clear consequences if the chores aren't done. I personally couldn't stop doing laundry for a 10 year old but instead would, after a short time, let him know that the consequence will be no TV, screen or whatever until this is done. This way you don't enter into a battle, you won't get cross and you won't end up feeling like the bad guy

I leave knickers & socks for my 7 & 9 year old dds to sort& put away. Thry will do this no problem. Dirty clothes are left out in laundry basket at tge end of each day.
I will leave folded tops etc to put away but they will ram them into the drawers any old way so I usually put these away myself so they are actually wearable!

Christ alive. Children way younger than that out there stuff away. I recommend a different method. Does he get pocket money? If so it needs to be linked to tasks.

Try this book for an idea how to et up a family economy. Don't need to take it all the way obviously but an interesting read.

Well OP. You have decided to just do it all for him.
His wife will be on here complaining in a few years.

I've left the clothes that are strewn on the floor, he can sort them out himself, I'm loath to pick them up because if I do he won't learn anything, and I can see it setting any better as he gets to the teenage years.
I've said to him many times, if it's not in the wash bin it won't get washed, but to no avail.
His bedroom isn't finished properly since we moved house, so I understand that that might make it more difficult for him, but he does have plenty of storage to fit the clothes in.
I don't feel I have the authority to punish, I leave that to his dad. And I don't want to be be seen as the evil SM :(
I will put the clean stuff away, that way I feel I'm making a compromise and it stops me getting irked at the clean stuff being chucked on the floor.

I put clean stuff away as I have more time. with dirty stuff I go into the room with them and get them to hand it to me so I am in control but they get used to sorting it. I do this calmly without getting cross. After a while they start putting things in the wash box on their own.

His dad just says hes a dirty bugger at the moment. I tried reminding him tonight, but it just doesn't work. Even his dad said he tells him repeatedly to no difference.
I feel like I'm wasting my time and energy.
I don't know what else to do :(

In terms of age appropriateness:
My 4yr old knows he has to stick is dirty clothes in the washing - 2 split boxes in bathroom darks/lights. He is better at splitting than dh! Does he always do it - no but he makes a decent stab. He can put clothes away but it involves me standing the the pile handing him a pile of socks saying put these away, then he comes back for another specific item.(Im hoping we can progress fro this in time!)
My 8yr old can put a mixed pile of washing including bedding away. She can also choose not to and leave it all over the place - stuffing ironed school uniform under her desk etc. We make her put it away before bed if we get chance but there is often a slip! Yes it causes arguments, but yes I believe a 10yr old should be capable.

please don't start picking up after him age 10!

I have a simple - put your clothes away (or change sheets, or do xx job) before screens go on.
Then I leave clothes/job etc and retreat. they usually do the job really quickly when they want their screens.

Putting clothes in the laundry is basic, and very easy and he shoudl do it.

I would actually only wash what is in the laundry basket. Be very clear - ds, I am putting a white wash on in 5 minutes, if your stuff isn't in it, it won't get done unitl after saturday, are you sure it is there?

If it isn't, well it won't kill him, and he may learn

His dad needs to do it WITH HIM until he gets into the routine himself.
His dad is being a lazy parent.
His dad is the problem.