To ask for advice re husbands Aspergers

[Sunny525]

My husband was diagnosed a few years ago, by chance, when he happened to be treated by an expert due to an unrelated emergency situation. Since then he/we have had no support.

We are in an underfunded area and have been told there is no support available. We keep going back to the GP saying we are about to have a crisis and clinging on but all they ever say is they will look into what is available and get back to us (and never do).

He is incredibly depressed and although he puts on a very capable (if a bit odd at times) face to the world as soon as he is alone with me he crumbles and it all falls apart.

We are at breaking point, he won't seek any help as he is too depressed and feels that it's pointless. I can see why he feels like this after years of no support but just don;t know what to do. He would hate any kind of informal support group and won't 'waste' money on therapy. If I suggest anything he gets angry and I am becoming the enemy.

How do you find support for an adult diagnosis of Aspergers? I think the diagnosis has been a double-edged sword...

I have autism. I'm not in the UK so this info may help or it may not. I take Hydroxyzine Orifarm every night to help me sleep and reduce anxiety. My autism is insufferable if I don't sleep well. I also take Propovan when I'm really bad as it knocks me out cold.

I have a support worker who comes in twice a week and helps me with admin and planning and just being more sorted so I don't feel overwhelmed with life. Also extra adhoc times for appointments or events I can't cope with on my own.

I also have Basic Body Awareness Therapy once a week. This is a special type of physiotherapy which helps autistic people connect their senses to their thoughts. If you can recognise what you're feeling and why, you can start to address it. If it all just feels like 'arrrrgh' you can't. I thought this sounded like nonsense therapy but I now admit I've found it really helpful.

He does go for a run and has trains but he either runs excessively (8k having done nothing for months) and stravas it and gets obsessed (same with the trains, makes plans, researches info etc) or goes off it and does nothing, he can't seem to find a happy medium.

I know what you mean about my mental health, my anxiety is worse and I feel quite low and stressed by it, I'm ok most of the time and coping but don't feel I can go on like this forever.

He is currently on Duloxetine (having been on citalopram and fluoxetine) apparently it's an older drug but works differently? He is sceptical of drugs and I have to nag him to take them. It seemed to help his mood once they had upped the does but he seems to have dropped down again now...

Call national autistic society. They are a great source of help, free and will listen.

I have Aspergers and my local authority don’t even assess for autism (even in children) unless it’s very severe and part of a learning disability.

There is no help out there other than medication from the GP. It’s horrible.

It makes me feel like crying to hear the details of the help others are receiving I don’t begrudge it, but I’m so jealous. My life is so lonely and isolated.

AreYouTerfEnough, I know, it's the same here. We were just lucky that we happened upon a consultant with that specialism, unfortunately we can't see him again. Our county refers you out to another county as a policy but won't do it in practice, it's mad...

Have you got any local groups? All of ours are for parents or people with complex learning difficulties as well so he doesn't feel able to go to them.

From what I can tell, the groups are either for parents or are groups for young adults who seem quite disabled and don’t communicate much. I don’t think I’d fit in.

I’m sorry you’re experiencing the same problem. There’s no support for aspergers/hfa. I think people think we should just learn to manage.