Should I ask my new lodger to leave?

[Pugmummy92]

I have recently taken on a male lodger much older than me, he’s in his fifties (I’m 25). I own my own home, just me and my pug living here, and have previously rented one of my single rooms out.

My new lodger only moved in last week, paying two weeks’ rent as he wanted to have an initial trial period. However, since moving in, he appears to have moved half a house worth of belongings with him, despite only renting a very small single room! He has now occupied most of the garden shed, several kitchen cupboards (it was only agreed to have one cupboard and half the fridge), half the understairs cupboard and half my third bedroom too! He is also leaving the heating on constant (even when he’s not at home!)

Another reason for me taking on a lodger was to look after my pug a couple of nights a week, and to feed him should he finish work earlier. He is home earlier than me every day of the week so the agreement was that he feed my dog and let him out etc. before I’m home. He seems to be quite reluctant to do this now he has moved in and has quite a standoffish attitude towards looking after my dog, despite claiming to be a dog lover himself!

AIBU to give him notice at the end of his two weeks’ trial period??

He’s not very easy to talk about problems with, and makes me feel like I am the one creating problems already even after just one week. I just don’t know if I can stand living with someone who takes over the entire house and all my free space, and has no regard for my ever increasing house bills, and isn’t keen on looking after my dog?

Advice please! X

[Mrsmadevans]

He's prob out getting more stuff to store in your house OP , hope your little dog is ok

[OneForTheRoadThen]

Even though he's an excluded occupier you do need to give him 'reasonable notice' - usually defined as the payment period for rent. In this case 2 weeks. Even though he's a cheeky fucker he still needs to be able to make alternative living arrangements.

I'd send that message you've drafted immediately as otherwise this could drag on and on. Hopefully he'll find somewhere new rather than later x

[DartmoorDoughnut]

Hope he takes it well and goes soon!

[ohfourfoxache]

He sounds like a right knob

[NotMoreSnow]

I'm also pretty shocked that you'd rent out a room to a man twice your age - he's hardly going to be good company for you. Wouldn't you prefer someone your own age?
Nah, I think you're confusing 'lodger' with 'life partner' . The OP likely want a bit of cash, and someone to let the dog out, not a new social life. It'd be a mistake (and probably rather awkward) to see a new lodger as a source of great company.

[ton181]

Hes taking the P*SS

[OJZJ]

Did he sign the agreement? If he has only given 2 weeks rent "in case it didn't work out" then it works both ways. What if you give him 4 weeks notice and he doesn't pay you

[Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar]

Why wouldn't you talk to his previous landlady? He's obviously moved from a much larger house with far more space allocated to him than at yours for a reason.
It's quite odd that he gave you a chance to take up references and you refused to do it, if you don't mind me saying so?

[Pugmummy92]

The message I’ve written (and will send tomorrow for reasons previously stated) I have given notice until the end of the trial period (which ends this Sunday) or alternatively 4 weeks from tomorrow which will end on the 16th April, on the basis that all rents are paid up to that date. Basically, if he wants longer notice, he pays for the privilege, simple. I would also rather it didn’t end this weekend as I’m away with work on a conference all weekend and won’t be able to be at home if he does in fact move out.

Thankyou, @NotMoreSnow - My thoughts exactly! X

[SherbrookeFosterer]

I doubt you are in danger OP, he is just bad mannered and the sooner you get rid of him the better. It will be awkward for a bit, but it will soon pass.

If you can get a few friends to stay with you for the duration it would be helpful.

Good luck.

[riceuten]

Not quite so gung ho as some here, but I would tell him he either revert to the original terms or go. He will probably go.

I have, however, been on the receiving end of a landlady who effectively wanted me to not live there but give her money. I ‘stayed in too much’ (I was out 5 night a week), was ‘too mean’ (I constantly had to top the lecky key up - this was supposed to be in the rent!), and ‘unfriendly’ (she would invite herself along out with me when she had nothing on.

[strawberrypenguin]

I wouldn't offer him another 4 weeks it will give him time to really bed in. Another week tops if you feel you must.

[bastardkitty]

I agree - 4 weeks is way too long.

[Gemini69]

No to 4 weeks from me too .. what on earth are you thinking...

[BreakfastAtSquiffanys]

And stick a note on the heating controls
"hands off!"

[Froglette16]

Not trying to create panic, but did you do a background check on him? I'd be inclined to do as others have suggested: have someone with you when you give him notice. Also be there when he moves out. Change your locks and at the first sign of any trouble notify the authorities. May the force be with you!! X

[Motoko]

Are you mad OP! Don't give him the option of another 4 weeks! And why have you written a "long message"? Short and sweet is all that's needed.

Dear Lodger,
This is notice that you need to leave at the end of the 2 weeks trial period, as this arrangement no longer works for me.
Signed, Pugmummy

You could ask your boyfriend to stay over the weekend to look after your dog and make sure he moves out.

For god's sake, don't allow him to stay another 4 weeks!

[ArchchancellorsHat]

Tell him he has to go at the end of the two weeks - the trial period works both ways and he broke the contract the day he moved in with this trial period nonsense then went ahead and ignored reasonable boundaries. Don't give him more time to bring even more stuff and run up your heating bills.

[Pugmummy92]

New turn of events - He has just let me know that he will be leaving either this weekend or at the latest by Easter weekend and will move his belongings out in the meantime to a friend’s house just up the road. He is giving notice to quit his job and travel abroad to stay with some close friends as he’s had some bad news today regarding his friends’s health. (He had previously mentioned moving abroad to live with these friends but expected it to be some time later in the year) X

[Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar]

It's all go there, op, isn't it?...

[Cuppaoftea]

Get him out before you go away for the weekend.

You can't seriously be planning to leave him in your home alone to move in another van load of stuff, take over your bedroom, change the locks? Only half joking.

[goldenbulldog]

get rid it's your house

[Eatalot]

Just make sure he is not settung the seed to not pay you until he leaves. Ie he doesnt move out after 2 weeks but can he pay next week as hes just left his job and his friends ill (so you feel sorry for him).

[BewareOfDragons]

Take it as a win ... he'll be out by the end of this month, which is 20 days away.

[grandplans]

You are being VERY naive.

I've rented to lodgers many times over the years - I love sharing with other people and have made some lasting friendships like this.

But you need to do more checks before moving someone in.

Plus I'm sorry to say but you are putting yourself at risk to be moving older men you don't know from Adam in. Certain men will see that as a license to try it on with you or just take the piss.

Seriously, please have a word with yourself, don't find out the hard way.

In general, you need to be much more discerning. Don't move anyone in without a reference, and do some internet stalking too to get an idea of what they're into and whether you are compatable for sharing.

Don't give people you're not sure about the benefit of the doubt. You are moving them into your HOME not giving them a job.