Should I ask my new lodger to leave?

[Pugmummy92]

I have recently taken on a male lodger much older than me, he’s in his fifties (I’m 25). I own my own home, just me and my pug living here, and have previously rented one of my single rooms out.

My new lodger only moved in last week, paying two weeks’ rent as he wanted to have an initial trial period. However, since moving in, he appears to have moved half a house worth of belongings with him, despite only renting a very small single room! He has now occupied most of the garden shed, several kitchen cupboards (it was only agreed to have one cupboard and half the fridge), half the understairs cupboard and half my third bedroom too! He is also leaving the heating on constant (even when he’s not at home!)

Another reason for me taking on a lodger was to look after my pug a couple of nights a week, and to feed him should he finish work earlier. He is home earlier than me every day of the week so the agreement was that he feed my dog and let him out etc. before I’m home. He seems to be quite reluctant to do this now he has moved in and has quite a standoffish attitude towards looking after my dog, despite claiming to be a dog lover himself!

AIBU to give him notice at the end of his two weeks’ trial period??

He’s not very easy to talk about problems with, and makes me feel like I am the one creating problems already even after just one week. I just don’t know if I can stand living with someone who takes over the entire house and all my free space, and has no regard for my ever increasing house bills, and isn’t keen on looking after my dog?

Advice please! X

[Wauden]

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[AskBasil]

This just came up in my watched threads for some reason, so has re-kindled my interest.

What was the outcome, OP?

Something struck me (as it has others): a few weeks isn’t always long enough to find somewhere else to live

In that case, if you're a lodger in someone else's home, you'd better conduct yourself in a manner which will make it more likely that that homeowner will feel safe and comfortable for you to stay in their home longer than you are legally entitled to.

[OJZJ]

Did he leave as Intended?

[SunnyCoco]

Completely agree Mookie. Can’t have a chat with the lodger due to having been at the vets that morning?!

[Mookie81]

It's all very well being bolshy to people on here giving you advice.
Use that crappy attitude towards the weirdo in your house!

[Mummyoflittledragon]

The recent posters have made very good points about your personal safety. Even in my mid 40’s I’d really not know much about getting a lodger. I know a lot more about personal safety though and wouldn’t entertain a 50 yo by myself ever. You’re 25. You would do well to learn from these wiser people instead of scoffing.

[Motoko]

I don’t think many posters on here understand the need to be reasonable towards a lodger/tenant/whoever is living in your property

Well, that works both ways. He hasn't been reasonable, leaving the heating on when he goes out, not wanting to deal with the dog when it was part of the terms he agreed to, AND spreading his crap around your house!

Why can't he go to his friend's now?

[sparklyshoes16]

You really do need to stop and just think about your situation very carefully and take the previous posters advice! Your situation can get very messy very quickly...you don't really know what this persons intentions are...they say they are moving to see their friend etc and going up the road to move their stuff in to that house...is that person really going to let them move all that stuff in to their already occupied home?

As for your safety that's a no brainer...do EVERYTHING you can to get info on that person and take time to find out who they are! Your personal safety is paramount...I know for a fact I would kick that person out ASAP as I've had to do it with a friend after 4 days as they took the piss...stuff everywhere, not tidying up, leaving the heating on when out then walking round shorts and vest top when in and then a random bloke slept over on the 3rd night who was sick on my bathroom floor and left it gave friend back their money minus the 4 days and was very clear why they had to leave as it just wasn't what was agreed...haven't spoken to them since! It's basic respect and manners that was lacking which I can't stand by anyone!

[grandplans]

I don’t think many posters on here understand the need to be reasonable towards a lodger/tenant/whoever is living in your property

I think you don't understand the need to prioritise your safety.

I have had many lodgers, and have gone above and beyond to make sure they feel welcome and like my home is theirs too.

I've vetted them VERY carefully before moving them into my home though. Would I see a man I didn't know, much older than me as a suitable lodger if I was living alone? No way. I wouldn't have even started talking to him.

If there were other people living in the house then I wouldn't rule him out but on my own - no way.

When I started renting rooms to people (we rented two rooms) I quickly learnt it's not about being fair - finding someone you're compatible to live with is very personal. Don't say yes to the first person who gets in contact. Arrange for a few people to see it over a weekend then pick the one you like the best.

[Gabilan]

I don’t think many posters on here understand the need to be reasonable towards a lodger/tenant/whoever is living in your property

I've been a tenant or lodger all my adult life and I still think you should give this man the minimum notice possible and get him out. IMO tenancies in the UK are far too much geared towards landlords and tenants are very insecure. Lodgers however are rather different. This is a stranger in your home. It's about personal safety. If he really needed to stay then he could respect you and the agreement you've made. He's not doing that, therefore he should go.

[Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar]

You're in no position to be hahaing at people trying to give you advice (which you sorely need), op
You sound both naive and juvenile, not a good combination for taking older men into your home.

[SunnyCoco]

It sounds like you want things ‘in Writing’ To avoid actual conversations - I know this sounds harsh but there’s been an excuse at every turn (your dog is unwell, you’re going away with work, you’re waiting until your friend can come over, you’ve written a text you’re waiting to send)
Yes of course you need contracts etc but I’d suggest you’d feel more comfortable if you also felt able to have some upfront conversations, and it’s fairer on the other person too

[Pugmummy92]

Read previous comment.

[C0untDucku1a]

7 days for being violent?! Wtf?!

[Pugmummy92]

@AnotherEmma - obviously violence would be reported to the police too amongst taking other steps but for goodness sake does everything need to be spelled out on these forums? Haha. Stating the obvious springs to mind.

[NameChange30]

Errr, 7 days notice for violent behaviour?! Are you joking?!

They’d be lucky to get 7 hours notice if they were violent in my home.

Sorry OP but you are coming across as incredibly naive.

[lottiegarbanzo]

Yes... but you don't have to - I would suggest you must not - feel any responsibility to 'look after' someone who is behaving badly towards you.

Their ability to find another place is their concern. If they want to stay in your place, they'll take care to abide by your rules and make the set up work for you.

I'm afraid I'd agree with pp (from bitter experience) that taking older male tenants, when you're a young woman, is not a good idea.

[Pugmummy92]

@AboutEmma - if they breach any of the terms of my agreement I.e. non payment of rent, nuisance, violent behaviour etc. then they have 7 days’ notice as is standard with most license agreements. X

[NameChange30]

It’s all very well wanting to be nice to people but there’s no need to write it into a contract which basically creates a legal obligation for yourself. I imagine with most lodgers, if they were not horribly unpleasant to live with or completely taking the piss, you would be happy to give them a month’s notice. But why not allow yourself the option of 1-2 weeks’ notice in case they are really awful? It’s their choice about whether to accept those terms. And 1-2 weeks is plenty of time to find somewhere temporary to stay (family/friend/Airbnb/other) while looking for somewhere more permanent.

[Pugmummy92]

@lottiegarbanzo - this is another reason why I didn’t bother to get a reference from his latest landlady. He wasn’t in rented prior to that so I hadn’t got any other reference to go on. I see landlord giving false references all the time in order to boot out bad tenants, I think many of us would do the same tbh if it meant we got our properties back!

I don’t think many posters on here understand the need to be reasonable towards a lodger/tenant/whoever is living in your property - I and many others wouldn’t like to be given so little notice if the shoe was on the other foot, but then not everyone is as reasonable as they like to make out they are. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have the security of being a homeowner either, and a few weeks isn’t always long enough to find somewhere else to live X

[lottiegarbanzo]

My suggestion for the future would be, always ask for a reference from the last but one landlord. Especially if there's been a lot of moving around. The current landlord may be experiencing an overwhelming desire to get rid of the person. The previous one can be far more elucidating.

[SunnyCoco]

With respect, I think you should consider some assertiveness training

[HeebieJeebies456]

i'd charge him for the extra storage....and give him definite notice to leave/excuse of new lodger lined up - it wouldn't surprise me if his plans fail/change at the last minute

[FifiVoldemortsChavvyCousin]

You said you didn’t check the last reference as he had been there only for a short time. That is the very reason you should have checked. Make sure you do so in the future.

[surgeryadvicepls]

I think you have handled the whole thing a bit strangely. You never had a conversation about his stuff taking over your house did you? Hopefully by now you have figured out an actual move out date for him, where you will be present. Again keep valuables locked away and draw up a clear inventory, you never know what may ‘accidentally’ go missing. Make sure the payment terms are clear and that he has already paid rent for the period in which he’s still at your place.