Should I ask my new lodger to leave?

[Pugmummy92]

I have recently taken on a male lodger much older than me, he’s in his fifties (I’m 25). I own my own home, just me and my pug living here, and have previously rented one of my single rooms out.

My new lodger only moved in last week, paying two weeks’ rent as he wanted to have an initial trial period. However, since moving in, he appears to have moved half a house worth of belongings with him, despite only renting a very small single room! He has now occupied most of the garden shed, several kitchen cupboards (it was only agreed to have one cupboard and half the fridge), half the understairs cupboard and half my third bedroom too! He is also leaving the heating on constant (even when he’s not at home!)

Another reason for me taking on a lodger was to look after my pug a couple of nights a week, and to feed him should he finish work earlier. He is home earlier than me every day of the week so the agreement was that he feed my dog and let him out etc. before I’m home. He seems to be quite reluctant to do this now he has moved in and has quite a standoffish attitude towards looking after my dog, despite claiming to be a dog lover himself!

AIBU to give him notice at the end of his two weeks’ trial period??

He’s not very easy to talk about problems with, and makes me feel like I am the one creating problems already even after just one week. I just don’t know if I can stand living with someone who takes over the entire house and all my free space, and has no regard for my ever increasing house bills, and isn’t keen on looking after my dog?

Advice please! X

[Gabilan]

IME there are some older men who just hold that the opinions of younger women are null and void just because they're younger, and women. I'd get a friend or relative around and tell him ASAP that the arrangement will be over at the end of the 2 week trial period because it isn't working for you.

And without wishing to alarm you, I'd be very careful after that. I'm not sure he'll go quietly.

[SilverySurfer]

Ugh definitely give him notice.

ALongHardWinter
OMG get rid of him OP! It sounds like he's taking the piss,big time. This is the reason why I won't take in a lodger. Since my DD moved out a year ago,I have a spare room,but I've heard so many awful tales mainly on Mumsnet about lodgers giving them grief,that it has put me right off. Plus I'm quite a private person,and the idea of a complete stranger wandering around my home fills with me horror. So although the prospect of the money is tempting,I can't bring myself to do it.

You and me both, since reading some of the threads on here about lodgers it has put me off completely.

[bastardkitty]

Please don't wait until the end of the 2 weeks to tell him that it's not working and he needs to go. Do it as soon as you can get someone round to be there with you. I would offer him a refund to go within 48 hours. He has no respect for you or your boundaries.

[AnathemaPulsifer]

Give him notice now. You don't have to wait for the end of the trial period. But surely the trial period works both ways? If he can just leave after 2 weeks you can just ask him to leave with the same short notice?

[CuriousaboutSamphire]

Have you done a tenancy agreement with him? If so what does it say about evicting him? As a live in landlord the OP will know that makes her lodger an excluded occupier. So he won't be able to have what is commonly understood when you say 'tenancy agreement'.

In fact and in law, lodgers have few rights and they depend entirely on whether or not they entered into a 'licence agreement' or not. As OP says her lodger paid 2 weeks for a trial period then that is their agreement and she can tell him to leave by then.

Note that is 'tell' not 'ask', in law!

england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/eviction/eviction_of_lodgers_and_other_excluded_occupiers

[AnathemaPulsifer]

He's broken any agreement you made if yes taking up more soac3 than he's paying for.

[AnathemaPulsifer]

*space

[Mummyoflittledragon]

I think I’d be taking your pug with you.

[Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar]

You really shouldn't have accepted a 50 year old man as a lodger; look at yourself feeling nervous at telling him he has to leave, because he's bigger and stronger than you. That's not good...

[thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter]

IME there are some older men who just hold that the opinions of younger women are null and void just because they're younger, and women. I'd get a friend or relative around and tell him ASAP that the arrangement will be over at the end of the 2 week trial period because it isn't working for you.

^ This. I wonder if there’s an element of having a chip on his shoulder that he’s renting from you not vice versa.

[lottiegarbanzo]

Just get rid. You don't have to give a reason. 'This isn't working for me'. The end.

[Allgirlskidsanddogs]

Don’t wait, it’s just extending the time he’ll be there. Give him notice now.

[Pugmummy92]

My licence agreement doesn’t specifically state that belongings shouldn’t occupy other parts of the house unfortunately, I work in landlord and tenant law as part of my job so ensured that a proper agreement was drawn up however. I shall speak to my family and check whether someone can be at the house when I ask him to leave, and I’ll make sure to keep my pug with me elsewhere for the night in case things become difficult! X

[bastardkitty]

Also he's bound to say he needs to leave his crap there. Give him information in writing about the deadline for collecting it and what happens if he doesn't. And lock up/remove your valuables.

[BewareOfDragons]

He's taking the piss.

He was probably tossed out of his previous home, hence all his 'bin bags of stuff' and taking over rooms and cupboards he has no right to! He's counting on you being unable to stand up for yourself.

Get him out.

[expatinscotland]

Never, EVER take on a man like this again.

[Chickenagain]

Please, please tell him as soon as possible that you want him to leave at the end of the two weeks. Tell him now so that he can make arrangements. If he says he needs time, he can go to friends, parents, a hotel, B&B, hostel, siblings and start his new search from there.

Pretend you are someone else doing the eviction - Margaret Thatcher, The Queen, Diane Abbott - anyone you can imagine that won't take any shit. Friendly, but firmly, "I'm terribly sorry, this situation really isn't working for me - I can't quite put my finger on it, but I don't think we are a compatible and I have found someone else to rent my room to".

If he is as bad as this now, he can only get worse and the longer you let it go on, the more difficult it will get for you. He is already ignoring your requests - he is taking advantage of your relative inexperience and he sounds a bit unpleasant to be honest. Whatever he says - not your circus, not your monkeys.

[Kintan]

We used to have lodgers - lovely people for the most part. The last one really put us off though and we haven't had one since. He was also an (almost) 50 year old male, and his sense of entitlement was unbelievable.
He had a go at me for painting the hallway as he hadn't been consulted about the colour choice (it was the same shade of white that it had been before), and he used to sit in his room past midnight sending me (not my DH funnily enough) angry text messages about perceived slights - for example one time I asked him in a friendly way not to bring his muddy bike into the flat and this meant I was bullying him apparently.
We gave him notice and a couple of days before he was due to move out, he informed us that he was staying two more weeks. After a stressful couple of days with him sending us more and more deranged messages, we suddenly got a text from him apologising and agreeing to move on the agreed date. We never found out why he had his change of heart. My point is if your lodger is much of an entitled piss-taker as he sounds be prepared for him to not want to go quietly. My advice would be to have a good read of the Shelter link a pp posted and be very clear to him that you are well within your rights to have him leave. Agree with the pp who suggest that you have someone else there when you tell him. Good luck!

[Chickenagain]

Regarding the license. You license someone to permit them to do something - not to forbid them to do something, so things that you wouldn't expect them to do, you cannot expect to include IIYSWIM
If he says "you didn't say I couldn't" your response is "the licence does not say you cannot do x - it says you can do y" .

[expatinscotland]

'He’s probably one of the countless men that have been thrown out of their home by their partners on the 'LTB' advice of Mumsnet. 😏'

Because he behaves exactly like a bastard.

[boxthefox]

Watch Pacific Heights and do what you have to do NOW. I'm somewhat exaggerating, but you never know.

[StaplesCorner]

You work in landlord and tenant law and yet this has still happened? I think you need to put your safety first OP. Tell him to leave ASAP.

[Trinity66]

well that's what the trial is for, get rid of him

[Echobelly]

Yes, be clear - the amount of stuff is unacceptable, he's not engaging with looking after the dog as agreed and I think, on the evidence, don't accept any 'sorry, I'll make an effort with the dog', etc as I think when someone pushes the boundaries like this the moment they arrive, that's a bad sign.

[KarmaStar]

Absolutely get rid of him op.As soon as you can .