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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... I probably am, so stop me ruining DB’s birthday

21 replies

Secretservice · 18/03/2018 15:18

DB lives with me and 2DCs. Today is his birthday, but due to his going out and kids toing and froing, we’ve only just made into the same room at once to give him his presents. I ushered kids to the kitchen where the presents were so we could hand them over - only to discover he’d already opened them all! I’m fuming, so fucking rude. Apparently he couldn’t wait, he’s 52 today 😡

OP posts:
SavvyBlancBlonde · 18/03/2018 15:20

How old are the kids? That’s bloody rude! At 52, it’s not about the presents but about young children giving their dad gifts they had chosen. DH got a rainbow and unicorn lanyard and a woopie cushion from our DC this year and they loved helping him open them.

LeighaJ · 18/03/2018 15:22

That is a bit rude, but it is his birthday and I'm guessing the presents were left in a shared area not hidden away.

LeighaJ · 18/03/2018 15:23

Oh wait were the presents from His children?

RedHelenB · 18/03/2018 15:26

3pm is a bit late for giving birthday presents so I can see why he opened them unless you made it clear you all had to be there? Obviously thanks still need to be given!

Original poster
Secretservice · 18/03/2018 15:31

The presents were from my kids. They’re not little, and to be fair probably don’t care! But I do. Who does that? They were semi hidden, on the table but covered. Even a ‘come on, when do I get to open these then’ would have been ok. But to sneak in, eat a few chocs, put on the slippers and open the booze all by himself is weird, isn’t it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Secretservice · 18/03/2018 15:33

I agree 3pm is late - if you’re an excited child!

OP posts:
NWQM · 18/03/2018 15:33

Am with you that it’s rude to open presents before they are given. Did he then rehide them do you mean?

Lostoldusername · 18/03/2018 15:37

I wouldn't get myself worked up by it. It's not like he is a child and you or your children want to hand them over and make a fuss.....
Let it go. He saw the gifts, opened them and is clearly enjoying them.

StaplesCorner · 18/03/2018 15:41

He saw the gifts, opened them and is clearly enjoying them - oh sorry I thought the OP said her brother was 52, clearly he must be 5. Or 2. Hmm

Original poster
Secretservice · 18/03/2018 15:43

But it’s the fact that he’s not a child which makes it worse in my eyes. No he didn’t rehide them, or even properly say thank you

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 18/03/2018 15:44

Yes, very rude to open them before being given. How come you’re living with a 52 yo. Or is he living with you? Just wondering if there is a strange man child dynamic going on.

magicstar1 · 18/03/2018 15:45

Cheeky git...they weren’t even his to open as they hadn’t been given to him yet

SandAndSea · 18/03/2018 15:46

Relax and enjoy the time together. Honestly, if he died, this would become one of the cute/charming stories you would remember about him. Maybe have a toast or a cake cutting ceremony with the kids instead.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 18/03/2018 15:50

No, acting like a dick doesn't suddenly become charmingly cute when you're dead, Sand. What a strange take on rudeness.

Lostoldusername · 18/03/2018 15:54

oh sorry I thought the OP said her brother was 52, clearly he must be 5. Or 2.

She said he was eating the chocs and wearing the slippers. So yes I would say enjoying them. At least he didn't open them, leave on the table and carry on as normal!
They were gifts for him with his name on - not sure why it is such a big problem. The OP already said that her kids weren't bothered about it.

Original poster
Secretservice · 18/03/2018 15:56

Mummyoflittlwdragon he lives with me. Both our marriages broke down in the same year, he had nowhere to live over Christmas so I said he could spend it with us - that was four years ago! It has helped me hugely as DC’s dad basically disappeared so having another adult around allowed me to work more hours etc. But you may have hit on something - my annoyance now is probably displaced

OP posts:
SmallBlondeMama · 18/03/2018 15:57

I wouldn't care one bit!! It's his bday .. chillax!

eridanus · 18/03/2018 15:58

I would just let it go, maybe tell him the kids were disappointed and hope he remembers for next time, but I don't think it's worth getting very angry about. Does he have kids himself? He might not realise how excited they get about giving presents.

Mummyoflittledragon · 18/03/2018 15:59

Four years is indeed a long time. I would be annoyed at opening presents and not saying thank you so you are righteously annoyed. However, it sounds as if you are annoyed at a lot more than just this one incident.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 18/03/2018 16:01

It’s rude. Presents are not yours until you are given them.

Whatever else is going on, that’s rude & selfish. Your kids might not seem bothered, but that level of disregard for their feelings registers. I’d make it clear to them that it was rude & selfish of him and not something you’d expect a child or adult to do. They were not his until he was given them.

ButchyRestingFace · 18/03/2018 16:07

I doubt I could bring myself to care. As long as he likes them, that's the main thing, surely?

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