AIBU to just say I don't care anymore?

[RowenasDiadem]

I'm fucking sick of being the bad guy all the damned time.

Eldest asks if friend can stay over? "Ask your mum" DH says knowing it's an obvious and already agreed NO. (DD's friend currently has head lice).

DH says "Lets go for a walk!"
And when I start trying to get the kids out they're moaning and bitching about it and DH stands around innocently like it's my idea forcing the poor little darlings out.

DH wants a full English breakfast for lunch. I spend bloody ages making it and the kids kick off saying they wanted something else and DH sits there letting me take the whinging as if it was me who wanted it (I'm dieting so I can't even have the good bits)

That's it. Nuggets, waffles and fucking beans every fucking day now. Screw them all. Sleeping with head lice? Sure. Let's fill the house with the little beasties and hopefully DH catches them. Just so he doesn't have to be the one who says no.

He is a good dad, works hard, supports us and dotes on the kids but it's always me that the kids moan about. They're good children but it's getting really hurtful that I'm always the 'mean' or 'unfair' or 'strict' one.

Sometimes I wish DH would take some of the flack for the rules we (jointly!) have in our house. I wish he would ground one for misbehaving. I wish he'd give one a bollocking instead of me when they be done something bad.

I work really hard getting the kids to be ones we both can be proud of and I get zero credit and even less thanks. Dad's the amazing one.

Throw it back to him. Go ask your Mother. Ooh i don't know, why don't you go and ask your Father?

Tried that. Then when he says no they think it's because I've made him say it

Call a family meeting with an agenda and lay it on the line how you feel, and if DH won’t do his share treat him like a child as well.

Name change fail OP.

Have you spoken to him about it?

“Ask your father”

Every time

@Motoko thanks.
Yeah I've said a few times and he acts like I'm making a big deal of something silly. He doesn't even think it's a 'thing'. Says of course the kids love you,tells me he does tell them off etc.

The sleepover thing he feigns ignorance and says how he doesn't mind them having sleepovers (understandable because we all know wifework involves caring for all this children has nothing to do with the dad's, it's the mums who need to do the running around, meals, snacks, making up beds, telling them to go to bed and the like.)

Blimey OP I could have written your first post. It's so frustrating isn't it?

I'm always the bad guy here too. Dh likes a quiet life without confrontation so if the dc ask him something that he knows the answer should be no he says go and ask your mum.

It's about the only thing really that we tow about but it pissed me right off.

Row not bloody tow!

Hmm, frustrating. Don't know how else you can deal with it if he's refusing to see the problem.

How about turning the question around on the dc instead? 'Mum, can Headlice Harriet sleepover tonight?' answer: 'how are you going to deal with the headlice? Are you going to make the spare bed up?'
Dh says, let's go for a walk. Kids say Noo! You say, OK, never mind and sit down with a book, tea. Leave dh and the kids to it.
Stop being the bad guy but spell out the consequences and don't help when chaos ensues.