To be offended

[Fatcow85]

AIBU to be offended and upset at being told "You probably need to lose as much weight as me." when I have a BMI of 24 and am a healthy weight, he has a BMI of 30+ and needs to lose 2.5stone to get to a BMI of 25. (He's been told by the hospital consultant he needs to lose weight)I was quite taken aback and upset. He has since said he wasn't saying I was fat and basically he thought that I thought I needed to lose it like he does. Er, no. Then there was another comment at swimming how "neither of us were that bad really and quite normal" compared to all the other (quite frankly mainly overweight or obese) people. He then said he was just talking about himself when I called him on it. He doesn't get why I found this offensive.

Yes, I would be offended in this situation. I wonder if he is trying to minimise his own weight problem by comparing himself to your healthy weight?

I’d be pretty shitty at those comments. Does he view you as needing to lose weight? Have you ever said you’d like to lose weight/tone up? Regardless, he maybe wants to feel like you’re in it together, but regardless when you obviously are not in the same situation as him, making comments to bring you down is not ok.

why r u offended if you're a healthy wright and you know it? Presumably this is your dh? Why not encourage activity and help rather than constantly explaining that no, he's the one whose obese... I'm guessing he knows...

Has he been looking in a different mirror to you or what? He is obviously under the impression he does not have a problem when clearly he does and cannot accept it.
Ignore his comments you sound as though you are spot on with your weight and health so good for you.

@saoirse31 no he's not my dh.

YANBU. You don't pass any comment about anyones weight.

No I never comment as it's very rude and as someone who had an eating disorder I know how hurtful weight comments can be and it's left me very anxious about weight. I'm useless in even noticing if people have lost or gained any unless it's huge amounts. We were both pretty active on the days we spent together but I'm active on a daily basis anyway whereas he has a very sedentary job. I was just stunned by the comments.