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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let DP eat toast in bed?

43 replies

Mii34 · 17/03/2018 11:21

I've been with my DP a couple of years, it's a very enjoyable middle-aged relationship after a 20 year marriage. DP is fantastic in bed, never thought I'd be having such a good time. So, to my question, at the weekend I bring him lovely coffee in bed, AIBU to refuse him toast as well as it will get crumbs in my lovely clean sheets? Or does he deserve it for the great pleasure he gives me?

OP posts:
Original poster
Mii34 · 17/03/2018 12:17

Well it is my bed in my house so I guess that makes me the boss.

OP posts:
TathitiPete · 17/03/2018 12:17

Hmm, it depends OP, what does he spread on his toast? Just a dab of butter or does he use sticky jam? Chocolate spread? Peanut butter? Does he prefer it on top or you on top? Does he spread anything on you during the fantastic sex? If it's just butter I'd let him be, if it's something sticky then maybe ask him to eat the toast off you.

Happy St Patrick's Day Gin

yawning801 · 17/03/2018 12:18

Does he bring his big baguette into bed? Do you bring Baps?

Arf! I just choked on my orange juice! This thread is hilarious! Are you bready to dump him if he refuses to relocate his crumbs? I'm on a roll today!

TheVanguardSix · 17/03/2018 12:24

Toast.
Dick Lick for the middle-aged.
Who knew?

On a serious note, no toast in bed. Food in the bed is gross.
Don't eat where you fart, drool, cum.

allthedogs · 17/03/2018 12:28

@jjmc0616 😂😂😂

falsepriest · 17/03/2018 13:14

"He calls me Marge in the bedroom... cos I spread easily"

GriefLeavesItsMark · 17/03/2018 13:44

Trying to think of a marmalade joke.

Lethaldrizzle · 17/03/2018 14:03

So you basically never have breakfast in bed?

Certcert · 17/03/2018 14:44

I'm jealous! Grin..He could have as much toast in bed as he wanted!!

FlippingFoal · 17/03/2018 14:55

What does it matter - he will be changing the sheets anyway after getting spunk all over them so the crumbs are irrelevant...

maras2 · 17/03/2018 14:58

Toast crumbs --- ok.
Poo crumbs ---- not ok,

ConstantlyCold · 17/03/2018 15:02

Toast crumbs are an absolutely awful. Dp is forbidden from eating in bed - unless it’s meGrin

Clevs · 17/03/2018 15:04

Does he not know how to use a plate?Hmm

Bookangel · 17/03/2018 15:22

@TheVanguardSix I guess you've never had sex on your dining table then? Or the sofa? Wink

Bluntness100 · 17/03/2018 15:27

I'm trying to imagine a man posting this about a woman. "Met a new woman. She's a great shag, should I let her eat biscuits in bed because of it"

Yup, that would go down well.

TathitiPete · 18/03/2018 00:47

Yup, that would go down well

As does OPs DP apparently.

halfwitpicker · 18/03/2018 01:00

If the sex is that good he can do anything he likes in bed surely

Is this a wind up

halfwitpicker · 18/03/2018 01:01

I thought this was a low carbing thread

Apparently not Bridget

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