NC as worried SIL will recognise this situation if she uses MN and know its me.
DH's sister is the best aunt ever, she has quite a few siblings and she has always been great with thier kids (huge range of ages from late 20s to 3). She has always taken am interest in thier lives, knows all thier birthdays etc and is really close with many of them.
She had her own first kid in January and since then, despite her siblings, nieces and nephews living nearby (except DH & I who live in the UK, they are all in the Netherlands), only her mum has been to visit her (once, and just for a few hours). She has had no family support and it seems like none of her siblings have taken any interest in her son at all. My heart breaks for her. DH & I went through for a visit recently & they are doing great, but I can tell she is feeling rubbish about it. We spoke to DHs other siblings who we went to visit (I should point out that hardly any of his siblings have visited DH since he moved abroad but that I can understand) and when we said we'd visited SIL's baby, not a single one even asked how SIL and baby were.
I don't know DHs family well due to living in a different country. DH isn't the best at keeping in touch with people (if I go on holiday I hardly hear from him!) but he has messaged SIL occasionally and asked about her son. We can't have kids and DH doesn't always think about asking how peoples kids are doing.*
*
Also wary that when helping out with or asking how my own sisters kids are, everyone makes comments about how its "practice" for my future children, but I'm infertile and hearing comments like that makes it feel like I've been punched in my empty uterus.
So long story short, how can I help SIL, or help DH to help SIL, feel more supported by her family, and show her that at least some of her family really care about her new baby? Keeping in mind that we live in different countries so can't offer her much proper support.