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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to remove a child's eyebrow hair?

103 replies

AlexanderandPie · 17/03/2018 04:48

Asking for a friend. Child is 6. Thanks.

WIBU to remove a child's eyebrow hair?
OP posts:
Upsy1981 · 17/03/2018 06:37

I agree with RhiWrites. If there is a simple solution to stop children commenting on it, I say go for it. Children are not necessarily bullying but they do notice things and they do ask about or comment on things and even that can make a small child self conscious.

I have a small birthmark on my leg. As a child, I was so paranoid about it, just because the other children would ask 'What's that on your leg?' ' Why have you got it?' etc. It ruined my school years, made me hate and detest PE, when I actually think I might have been quite good. They weren't being mean, they were just curious about a difference they'd noticed and if my mum had said she could remove it, it would have changed my life immensely.

Kitchenbound · 17/03/2018 06:37

Gentle hair removing cream is better than wax or shaving - if you go this route please make sure it's recommended for facial hair, some are too harsh for delicate skin on the face ☺ not saying it's a bad idea though just double check the bottle

T2517 · 17/03/2018 06:39

Yes, I would get rid of it with a little bit of hot wax or even an eyebrow razor. It’s not much but like people have said, kids are cruel

Upsy1981 · 17/03/2018 06:39

Just to add to my post, I would only do it if its come from the child. I wouldn't suggest it.

curlii103 · 17/03/2018 06:46

If the child wants it then yes immediately. I used to have hair on my upper lip and no amount of reassurances from my mum stopped me beung teased about it. Id wax it.

velourvoyageur · 17/03/2018 06:47

You're quite right Brownie, I hadn't even thought, just automatically assume short hair = boy!

Surely if DC is being mocked every day, that constitutes bullying, which is a matter the teacher should be involved in? If a DC was bullied for, say, wearing a crucifix, would you tell them to remove it?
Clearly don't just tell the child to put up with teasing, get the teasing stopped.

I would think of this as a societal beauty standard in the making or in transition - it can't be that entrenched, at six. It may also only be tangentially linked here to adult beauty standards - kids may just doing an inconsequential us-and-them thing, noticing it as 'you have this and we don't', which is backed up by vague notions re: what adults' eyebrows look like - but of course the fact that we as teens and adults are forced to make decisions about eyebrows (not shaping is a decision like choosing to shape is) coincidentally is of course very much a direct result of beauty standards, so it's good to try and nip it in the bud before the connection becomes obvious.
E.g. if a little kid had a turned up nose and someone got teased for that, you would think it's just kids exploring difference, not that they had some idea of what noses are more accepted than others, because of course we like turned up noses. Just because, in this case, it does seem to reflect a beauty standard the DC will encounter later doesn't mean that we have to treat it within the adult context - i.e. assume it's a steadfast reality and there's nothing we can do to stop the teasing because it's part of a bigger structure that we can't do anything about. If that makes sense?

SD1978 · 17/03/2018 06:50

I would if the child had an issue with it, and wanted it down. He/she shouldn’t have to, they should be able to be themselves without judgment.........but so should we all and we know that’s not the case. It’s all well enough saying he/she should be happy with how they look but society doesn’t echo that. Kids will latch on to something different and yes, the school should deal with it, and the child in question shouldn’t have to, but for me, if my child wanted it, the answer would be an emphatic yes

TheGruffalosArse · 17/03/2018 07:04

Yes of course, if they asked for it. Children should be allowed a say in their appearance, and it's good for their confidence to take ownership of their own bodies within sensible limits.

skippy67 · 17/03/2018 07:06

Yeah, I would, if the child wanted me to.

BitchQueen90 · 17/03/2018 07:29

Only if the child asked for it.

It's easy to say "we shouldn't have to conform to standards" etc but children can be very cruel to one another and bullying can be incredibly damaging. No, we shouldn't have to conform but I wouldn't want to force my child to have to endure bullying if I could do something to help him/her.

Upsy1981 · 17/03/2018 07:31

Just to be clear, it doesn't even have to be 'bullying'. It just needs to be children pointing out or asking about differences. 'You've got a big spot on your nose' etc. They aren't being mean, they just haven't learned that it isn't appropriate yet.

Esspee · 17/03/2018 07:44

Photo looks a bit like me as a child. I first noticed it post primary school. My mum refused to let me do anything about it so every week I'd steal her tweezers and remove two or three hairs. Once she noticed what I'd done she gave in and bought me my own tweezers.
If the child hasn't noticed it leave it be would be my suggestion.

MrsSkeletor · 17/03/2018 07:53

Only if they wanted me to. My mother would have (physically) forced me to let her do it. :(

missiondecision · 17/03/2018 07:54

6 ! No,

velourvoyageur · 17/03/2018 08:25

I would say that this kind of thing fuels bullying/teasing though. You contribute to the problem, in seeming to agree with the child and their bullies that this level of alleged unattractiveness requires action. Even talking of hair removal in terms of it being a 'solution' suggests that it's the hair that's a problem rather than it being the other kids' behaviour. Wouldn't it be better to get kids feeling more comfortable with difference? Currently 'odd' seems to be anything that's not specifically designated as 'desirable'. Couldn't we let 'odd' be oddness in its own right i.e. something that is very unusual? In the end of course these converge because if everyone quietly removes their 'oddities', they do end up being odd by virtue of it appearing totally unusual when someone chooses not to remove them. What is this obsession with paring people down to only the barest universal qualities? Yes, kids shouldn't be made into poster kids for e.g. feminist values, but in the end, everyone is a role model for someone else no matter their age, it's a tricky one...

If the kids are not actually being nasty but are just being curious, I mean, isn't that a way of learning resilience, learning how to field awkward questions until you can respond confidently and the questions lose their sting? Some children are naturally confident, and others are not, but that doesn't mean they can't learn to be or that they should always be allowed to avoid discomfort.
I had to field a lot of curiosity and many clumsy comments as the only foreign kid at my school - I coped.

jaseyraex · 17/03/2018 08:28

If it's the child that's asking for it to be sorted then yes, I'd absolutely do it. He might end up trying to do it himself and make a pigs ear of it!

Allthewaves · 17/03/2018 08:40

I'd ask the child and if they wanted I'd shave it or facial wax strip

bonnyshide · 17/03/2018 08:45

If it is bothering them, and they are being teased then, Yes I would.

My teenage son treats his 'monobrow' with Nair (as plucking or waxing leaves little bumps that develop into spots) but Nair leaves it smooth.

LoveMyLittleSuperhero · 17/03/2018 08:46

If the child asked for it to be done then yes I would. It's their body and this is neither permanent or harmful and it may well make their life easier at school if they are being teased.

TossDaily · 17/03/2018 08:49

What's the difference between that and a haircut?

NorbertTheDragon · 17/03/2018 08:56

Have they asked? I have 13 yo DTs with monobrows but they've never seem bothered. I've just asked if they would like them removed and they shrugged and grunted at me in that teenage way so I guess they don't care!

They've only mentioned someone saying something once, and that was Simone who also had one but did have it removed asking if they want it done too. That was a girl so I don't know if that makes any difference. My two boys aren't particularly image conscious.

If they change their mind then of course I'd let them get it done, at any age. (Theirs wasn't so noticeable when they were younger as they were very fair so wasn't an issue at a young age)

Idontdowindows · 17/03/2018 09:00

A 6 year old.

what the actual fuck

upsideup · 17/03/2018 09:02

My dsd she had eyebrows like this as a child and we started using wax at 4 before she started school, we asked her and she said yes, hardly any adults have monobrows/

pictish · 17/03/2018 09:02

If it was bothering him then yeah, I would.

rollingonariver · 17/03/2018 09:05

I actually would. He will be teased about it and even if that's not for a few years they'll say 'remember when 'Sam' had a unibrow everyone'. There was a lot of this in my school. Wax literally takes two seconds and if you keep doing it, by the time he's old enough to want it gone the growth might have be stunted.
People on here are quite dramatic when it comes to these things. A bit of wax is nothing. I wish my mum had done it for me and there were two boys in my year who were bullied for it. You really don't want him to get to 10 and try and do it himself, all that were bullied tried this.

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