To ask him what his problem is?

[Bodakyellow]

I have been in a new role for just under a month. A team has been put together to work on a project and are hot desking in our office. One particular member of this team is always seated next to me and he is really grating on me as he goes out of his way to make negative comments about my competence in front of my direct line manager and other colleague’s. He has gone as far as to call me useless and unhelpful. Admittedly I have made mistakes as I am new and still learning however, he’s not even part of my team it doesn’t even affect him. Essentially he makes me feel like crap. He is really pally with my line manager, constantly going on fag breaks together and sharing food. I try to ignore him but I feel like he trying to get me fired. AIBU to ask him what his promblem is?

Bump

No. I would have asked him a long time ago. Or just told him to mind his own business and STFU if we weren’t even on the same team.

Can you pick up and sit elsewhere? How long will they be there for? Ideally, confronting the behaviour would be best- but if you don’t feel comfortable doing so, and it’s temporary, can you avoid him? Or lodge a formal complaint with your line manager.

I'd try and speak to him in private and ask that if youve mafe an error, he speaks to you in a professional manner and not in front of everyone else.

His behaviour would constitute bullying in my organisation. I'm not impressed your line manager hasn't said anything about it. That in itself is colluding.

I suggest you make a note of what's been said to date and all those present at the time.

If after you speak to him ...Nothing changes...then see HR.

If you feel unable to speak to him..speak to your manager. If you can't speak to your manager...go direct to HR.

I can’t sit somewherelse as it my assigned desk and he always sits opposite me, I assume to be as close to my line manager as possible. He seems to have a problem with me but I don’t know why. He really upset me when he made a comment about me “trying to be useful but failing, as usual” when I was having a non work related conversation with another colleague. I later told him that he always ends conversation negatively with me, which he then decided I was calling him negative. I just don’t want there to be awkwardness however, I can’t put up with the sly insults.

Also i’m still on probationary period, do you think this will affect my appointment being made permanent if I talk to my line manager or HR?

Are you female? and are you above him or on the same level?

You could talk to your line manager, but I wouldn't be overly critical of your colleague and I would ask the colleague what you are doing to annoy him and ask for constructive criticism instead of catty remarks. And then I would be extra nice and make him think he isn't bothering me but deep down I would be plotting his demise.

You just need to call him out when he says something negative...

For example: “trying to be useful but failing as usual” you could say “I have been here for less than a month and am still learning some areas of the business; perhaps you could give me specefic areas where you think I am failing along with how I could improve to assist with my development”

He will eithe be constructor continue to be a dick, but at least you will have called him out on it and he may think before he speaks in the future.

I’m female. He is the same level but works for another team. He literally just sits opposite me and my work has no impact on his team.

He literally just sits opposite me and my work has no impact on his team.
Yes, I'm not sure about all this advice to ask him for specific criticisms and areas for improvement - if he has no role managing the OP, and her work doesn't affect him, I don't think she should validate his behaviour by encouraging him to list more criticisms.
I think I'd blank his critical comments, and if he persists, perhaps ask him if he could perhaps 'chat' less, as to want to concentrate on your work.

He sounds like a very horrible bully.
You absolutely should call him out on it

Can you just ignore him? The person who sits on one side of me at work really gets on my nerves sometimes so I often ignore him. We're allowed to listen to music through headphones though while working which makes it easier.

I think he should be called out on it, nasty man. I'd suggest either the old MN chestnut of "did you mean to be so rude?" or "Can you please repeat that comment in front of my line manager".

What do other people think of him? Might be worth subtly trying to find out. It is possible that other people might think he's a dickhead, too, in which case, he won't be as much of a threat as you think

I definitely think you should raise the issue in public with him. If you do it privately he will have the option of playing it down.

It needs to be at the time of the criticism and in front of whoever was there to witness what he said.

The last thing you need to do is ask him for constructive criticism, admit weakness or to ask for help!

Just call him out on it, loudly, each & every time.

‘That’s incredibly rude & completely uncalled for, don’t do/say it again’

IF this had any impact on your future there, it wouldn’t be a good place to work anyway. I’m not 8moresses with your line manager not telling him to wind his neck in.

I recently discovered his whole team dislike him, even his manager. But my manger is all over him. I'm nervous that his dislike for me will have impact on whether I'll be kept on after my probation. Thanks for all the great advice. I think I'll ignore him but remain professional at the same time as not to create an atmosphere.

What does your manager think of you? If you are worried, you could ways ask for feedback