To want to murder my man child

[Mustang27]

Ok I know I will get the "why do you put up with that crap" but seriously there is worse out there he does have some good points but sometimes it's hard. Example, he has just left his mother on a walk with our dog who has just consumed a bag of fat balls for the birds and our two year old in the rain whilst he humphed back because it was too wet and cold. Couldn't see why I'd be annoyed (our child is a runner and there are busy roads on the walk) but seriously who just leaves a nearly 70yr old woman juggling their responsibilities!!! Haha and before you say me I tried to go but my 10 week old wanted breastfeeding and unfortunately I'm the only one that can do that and they wanted to go before it was dark.

Bloody depressing.

Please cheer me up with stories of your childish oh's, so I feel less alone and homicidal lol.

Can't see much humour in the situation. He sounds like a selfish twat. I can't imagine how you find him attractive.

Seriously op, what did you say when he showed up without his mother, toddler or dog?

'There's worse out there' does not sound a very compelling reason to have married and had children with such a selfish loser. Sorry, I can't see anything funny in his behaviour, so I cannot cheer you up. I think this is actually to be taken seriously, not laughed off.

I'm afraid I can't cheer you up because my husband isn't a manchild and would never do this. Plus he walks our two dogs alone or with our daughter in all weathers!

Seriously....men like this need a metaphorical kick up the backside.

Wow he sounds like a real charmer. Let's hope your two year old doesn't get run over LOL

I hope his mum is ok. She deserves better.

He's left his 70 year old mother with HIS dog and HIS child simply because he was cold and wet?

I assume your MIL was dry and warm?

He really is selfish. And lazy. And bloody mollycoddled, too. And yes, there are worse out there - of course there are. But is that all you aim for in life?

His poor mum . Are they home ok now? My dh can be a bit of a dick sometimes but he’d never just leave an old woman in the rain looking after dc!

Fucking hell trust me, there are men who are plenty better out there!!

And ofc there are worse men out there, but better doesn’t equal good!

His poor mum

I'm sorry but what good points does he have?

He sounds incredibly selfish

Weeeeeell - it doesn't sound great. But is it possible his mother played the martyr and went all "no, don't worry about me, I'll be fine"? And he believed her?

Achickencalledkorma, likely she did but he is a twat for even listening to that.

Ok so I should say Iv been in a highly abusive relationship all forms of abuse and got away from that so yeah my standard is probably pretty low. Yeah he is lazy, selfish and downright thoughtless with this stuff but he is safe, loyal, works hard and is very loving. If I left him it would feel petty compared to the crap Iv put up with in the past.

They are home safe and well as they weren't far behind him. Thankfully.

I shouted as that's what he makes me resort too as he makes me so angry basically asked him if it was too bloody cold and wet for him why did he think it was ok to leave our wee one out in it. Tbf my ds would have lost it as his gran is his favourite person in the world. He apologised and trudged back out to get them.

I do really worry that my children will think this behaviour is acceptable and I'm really trying to raise better than that by a million miles.

Sorry I don't think it's funny at all but I think it's my go to defence mechanism i think.

No haha about it. Defence mechanism? Nope.

I do sympathise with you OP - my OH flounces of and slams doors when he's in a huff - he even threw himself face down on the sofa like a teenager. I don't give his behaviour house room tbh

I feel bad for you. Because you were treated like shit in the past you don't believe you deserve to be treated well now.

Just because someone isn't outright abusive on a major scale doesn't mean they are worthy of you.

It's easy now because your child is only two years old... It could get a lot harder as your child gets older.

Just remember - he's choosing to be lazy. He's choosing to be selfish. He's choosing to put himself before your child and his own mother. If he works hard then he is capable of hard work, both at home and in his paid work surely?

I realise making light of a situation isn't a real defence mechanism, but making light of a serious situations helps me manage. Sorry.

Snap elmosmum just don't get why they do it.

You are right Puglife he is absolutely choosing to be lazy . I just don't have the energy to try and right it. I also am not convinced he is capable of change.

Snap elmosmum just don't get why they do it.

Because women like you stay with them!

Sorry for being flippant Mustang, I know its hard sometimes and it seems like making light of it and hearing other people's moans makes it more acceptable. he is safe, loyal, works hard and is very loving those are all important qualities, but don't let him take the piss by being lazy and childish. You deserve someone who is all of those things and also helpful and respectful to you, his DC and his mum!

Touché hotcrossbunsandtea.

I did expect some light hearted bants turns out I'm just a bit of an idiot. I don't mind I knew that already.

How do you avoid this though when you meet someone? I always desperately look for the best in a person I can't seem to help myself.

I don't quite understand - did the Mother/DC want to carry on walking? In which case you could argue that she made the choice herself.

Or did everyone want to come home, and he just went on ahead because he could? In which case, I'd love to hear about his good points...

Ever heard the saying that a you don't leave a level 8 abuser and settle with a level 5 abuser because its less abuse? The appropriate amount of abuse in a relationship should be 0.

Basically came here to say what Vlad just said.