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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Borrowing money from young children

30 replies

mumtomaxwell · 16/03/2018 16:46

AIBU to even be thinking about this? Our leaking bathroom is going to cost about £3k to fix. Our children are little (9 and under) and have decent savings in their accounts that I control and put money into and they don’t even know about.
The repairs can’t wait, so would it be terrible to borrow out the children’s money and gradually put it back over the next year or so?

OP posts:
Pleasegodgotosleep · 16/03/2018 16:49

No of course not, they will benefit from the work!

onemouseplace · 16/03/2018 16:51

Of course not - I know a couple of people who have had to do this. And one of the reasons our children's savings are in trust accounts is so that we can access them if we absolutely have to.

thiskittenbarks · 16/03/2018 16:52

Of course not. They need a working bathroom / dry house more than they need thousands in savings at this stage.

InDubiousBattle · 16/03/2018 16:54

Not terrible at all!

ShutYourIgnorantBitchyMouth · 16/03/2018 16:54

Of course not, fix your house!

Is it your money that you've saved anyway? In which case it IS your money.

TeenTimesTwo · 16/03/2018 16:55

No of course not.
But:
Don't save any more for your children if you don't have savings for yourselves.
Plus:
Think carefully about putting savings in children's names as that usually means they get complete control at 18. Which may be fine, or they may blow it all on sex/drugs/rock and roll. You don't know at 8 what they will be like at 18.

mrsm43s · 16/03/2018 16:56

I'd be quite uncomfortable about this.

£3k is a whole new bathroom, not fixing of a leak. Can you not find somewhere that does interest free credit if you don't have the money anywhere else to refit the bathroom? Or wait until you've saved up.

I would use children savings if I really must to deal with an emergency situation - but £3k on a bathroom isn't an emergency its an upgrade that can be waited for.

Original poster
mumtomaxwell · 16/03/2018 17:01

No, it’s a leaking bathroom that has over time damaged walls and ceilings... a slow leak that has gradually soaked through. Not an upgrade that can wait!!

OP posts:
chloesmumtoo · 16/03/2018 17:08

Yanbu as long as you know you can 100% put it back or thats how i feel. After all it proably wouldn't be there if you hadn't carefully saved it for them. If its something that is helping an issue in their own home not for luxury purposes but necessity and will ease money stresses in the home, why not. We have borrowed smaller sums from our children temporarily short term and now older visa versa, they have borrowed from us. If it earns high interest in that account you could always pay in extra so they dont lose out.

OutyMcOutface · 16/03/2018 17:11

My mother did this frequently even as I got older. It just made me wonder why she didn’t have her own savings instead of putting it all in my name despite not really meaning for me to have it. Can’t say that it scarred me for life though.

Witchend · 16/03/2018 17:13

If it's leak damage, can't you claim on insurance?

ilovekitkats · 16/03/2018 17:27

I would borrow it, but have a strict repayment plan and standing orders set up to repay it.

I also agree that you need savings of your own, so stop putting it away for the children if you don't have your own money saved up.

It makes more sense to borrow theirs, than to take out a loan. You could repay the interest to them as well so they don't lose out and it would still be way cheaper than a lot.

I don't see anything wrong with it, as long as you do pay it all back.

hidinginthenightgarden · 16/03/2018 17:27

We have really struggled financially this year and had to borrow from the kids savings to pay the bills. I think they would appreciate not being made homeless more than a few £100.

mirime · 16/03/2018 17:44

@Witchend

If it's leak damage, can't you claim on insurance?

Possibly not if it were a slow leak and the damage was caused over time. Mine excluded that.

RoseHarper · 16/03/2018 17:49

Try insurance if you havent already, it may well be covered even if a slow leak as long as you werent aware of it.

Love51 · 16/03/2018 17:50

I haven't done this. I would though, and my parents made their savings, not me. I offered my parents my savings as a kid (didn't have enough though). Why would you reduce family coffers by paying interest to a bank!
I wouldn't make a habit of it - as pp said, if they have more savings than you, you're probably best off saving less for them!

Bluelady · 16/03/2018 17:53

If you've saved for them, it's actually your money. Fixing your house trumps children's savings.

coffeeforone · 16/03/2018 18:02

YANBU. If you put the money in, it’s actually your money. Use it if you need to. They will benefit.

chloesmumtoo · 16/03/2018 18:03

When we used to put money in dc's accounts it didnt always mean it all came from us either. So it could be other monies built up from family for birthdays or other occassions. So mumtomaxwell may not be able to save up that much easily for herself in savings as everyone is suggesting.
We often put surplus monies in dc's accounts for their futures when their money boxes got too full and which they didn't need to spend at the time. They always had what presents they needed/wanted as have a large family with birthdays very close to december. We just popped it away for safe keeping.

BizzyFuxtons · 16/03/2018 18:05

I have long since borrowed my DC's savings (not huge amounts, but inherited and more useful to me at this point than to them).

sidewayswithatescotrolley · 16/03/2018 18:05

It's your money. You can do as you please with it.

Original poster
mumtomaxwell · 16/03/2018 18:06

That’s a good idea re:insurance didn’t even occur to me! I’ll check to see if it’s covered.

I get your points about saving for us rather than them... I never had any money put aside for me as a child because my parents couldn’t afford it!

OP posts:
Pengggwn · 16/03/2018 18:12

Of course it's okay. What's the alternative, having a bathroom that slowly rots your house? Confused

YellowMakesMeSmile · 16/03/2018 18:17

I couldn't as it would feel very wrong but it's very common on MN. I guess if only you have contributed to the account then you can do as you wish but if others have then I doubt they would be happy that it was seen as free range money.

Glumglowworm · 16/03/2018 18:19

YANBU

It’s an essential repair that can’t wait, not a luxury you could do without.

I would encourage you from now on to have some savings for yourselves not just for DC, as these things do happen at the most inconvenient times. But there’s no reason to get into debt when you have savings, even if those savings are for the children