AIBU - Presents

[Tenshidarkangel]

Am I being unreasonable or are they?

I sent my recently engaged best friends a parcel with a present and card congratulating them on their engagement three weeks ago. Since then I've heard nothing.
I sent the male counterpart a message yesterday asking if they had received it to be told they had, 3 days ago.
So this morning I replied telling him how hurt I was that neither of them had bothered to drop me a text to say it had been received or express thanks.
His come back was they had both been extremely busy, had only got it 3 days ago and were going to be sending a thank you letter instead.

AIBU to be seriously hurt by this and to think you would still drop a text to say thank you? The letter wouldn't have likely arrived till Monday (over the 3 week mark) if they posted it today/tomorrow, and whilst I get the sentiment of a letter, it takes 5 seconds to send a text to confirm it had got there safely or am I being overly hormonal and emotionally sensitive?

Whilst I thank for gifts, I never expect to be thanked for a gift. I can understand how it can be rude not to, but it wouldn't upset me. Some people are bad at it, but are wonderful to me in other ways.

Hormonal and sensitive, yes.

Sorry but commenting on someone being rude or ungrateful is even worse than their sluggishness or failure to thank you.

I'm guessing you won't have to worry about a wedding present now though!!!!

@reddressblueshoes I didn't expect a card. That's not their style and they have never bothered with cards in the past when I've sent presents for Christmas/Birthdays usually just get a text to say thanks.
Secondly, would never expect to BE invited to the wedding. Expecting to be invited is rude IMO and I didn't demand thanks as I've mentioned further down.

@ALittleAubergine pretty much. It's not the first time.

I'm struggling to think how he could reply saying he'd received it without saying thanks

So. you text saying "Hi X, just wondered if my parcel turned up as I was a bit worried it's gone missing" and he replies "yes, 3 days ago" without a thanks in there at all?

However, I think you should stop sending gifts to people that you don't seem to like and that you think aren't really into you either.

So these are your BEST friends who don't bother with you, don't instigate time together, whom you haven't seen in the last 3 weeks or haven't spoken to in the last few weeks and couldn't just send a quick text to a week after you posted saying hi X, just wanna check it arrived so I can chuck the postage reciept?

I think the couple were incredibly rude not to quickly acknowledge you had sent a card & gift for their engagement. I cannot imagine they were buried under a tsunami of toasters, kettles and salad spinners.

Your response was perfect in the circumstances -unless you were an ex girlfriend and sent a horses head-
Just goes to show how entitled people are today. A text straight away & a proper card when time allows.

If I received a gift through post like that I would def text thank you straight away!

@SleepingStandingUp Yeah, I've been pulling back on contact to be honest. See if it would become one of those never heard from them again scenarios but they got engaged in January so I sent something (A bit late I admit) just to congratulate them.
Sent the 'have you received it text yesterday' to give it plenty of time to get there.

I’m struggling to understand why you keep bothering with supposed best friends who don't make any effort with you and don’t invite you out. Stop sending presents.

then the next day got a 'We loved it'

Surely this text is the same as a thank you?

1. overly hormonal and emotionally sensitive.

2.they don't bother with you: they are not your best friends.

That is all.

Thanks all for the responses (even the negative ones)
Yes I probably traipsed in like a twat being overly emotional (It's been a rough few months with several deaths) and probably could have handled it a bit better but I'm tired of feeling taken advantage of I guess. :(

I don’t think YABU at all. It takes seconds to send a text. They sound rude and ungrateful and very entitled.

You sent it 3 weeks ago but they only got it 3 days ago?

I don't think you're being unreasonable. How many gifts could they have received through the most congratulating them on their engagement that they couldn't possible have time to text to say thanks. Who sends thank you letters out these days?

I'm a bit on the fence. I don't think you should expect thanks, to be honest - being generous means you have to give without expectation of anything! I've always thought it seems a bit egocentric to want to be acknowledged or "stroked" for a kind act.

Perversely I pathologically thank people because I think its good manners! So I give thanks but don't expect it.

You sound like a thoughtful gift giver and I'd definitely suggest not bothering with big gifts to people who don't appear to appreciate them.