Aibu to think my mum is a narcissist?

[crabbiepattie]

So I recently lost my father at the young age of 63. That was 5 months and 11 days ago.
My mum and dad divorced when I was 7. So that's like 28 years ago. I didn't ha e the best relationship with my father but losing a parent isn't any easier with a strained relationship.
Went for luch with my mum today and such as life...got a phonecall off the coroner regarding dad's cause of death.
I took the phone call half way through lunch with mum, but away from the dinner table. Came back to the table and told mum who had phoned. Her response was to start talking about the time that her Mum (my nain) had passed away.
She does this a lot. Turns every situation or problem to it being her going through the same situation but 10 times worse.

AIBU to think that she is a narcissist and that real sympathy will never come from her?

Please remember that he isn't 'just' your father, he's her ex and father of her children, and presumably she loved him once. His death is likely to bring up pain she is no longer used to feeling after 25 years of being divorced.

Agreed. It doesn't appear that she was getting much in the way of understanding or support after his death from her current husband, judging by his reaction to her crying.

My father, also a pig although never violent, was genuinely upset and bewildered when his ex-wife, my mum, dropped dead. She was effectively the only person he'd ever dated/been with before they divorced, after a long marriage and two kids. No matter how the relationship ends, an ex-spouse's death can stir can up a lot of emotions for people, particularly since society perceives them not to need or be entitled to support.

I find they're never clinical psychologists, they're people who don't like their relatives. A really, really bad situation for making a serious clinical diagnosis of a very rare personality disorder.

I'm struggling to recall ever hearing the word used to describe someone out in the "real world". But on here it's ubiquitous.

toomuch, I'm not trivialising your experience in the slightest. I'm simply saying that to armchair diagnose people with a serious, and rare, personality disorder when we're in no way qualified to do it - and are indeed massively influenced by how awful they've been to us - is neither helpful nor constructive. It's spreading misinformation.

My ex was an actual diagnosed narcissist. he would have complained that you were ruining dinner by bringing up bad news.

When his only brother died, in very sad circumstances, he said the last time he saw his brother, he had eaten half his dinner- so it wasn't all bad that he died.